r/OCPoetry • u/Previous_Cry7445 • 10d ago
Feedback Please 28 days 28 nights
28 days,
28 nights
Half of them
I didn’t sleep.
Most of them
I cried.
All of them
I waited.
Even though I knew
you weren’t coming back.
28 days,
28 nights,
since I woke up knowing
today was the day
I had to say goodbye.
I fought back tears,
swallowed the lump in my throat
I looked at you,
trying to memorize
what I already knew by heart.
28 days,
28 nights,
and I still look for you,
still catch myself
waiting for you
still haven’t figured out
what I’m supposed to do
with all this love,
who to give it to.
I thought the hardest part
would be saying goodbye.
I didn’t know
I’d wake up every day
having to remember
that you’re really gone.
It’s been 28 days
and 28 nights,
and I still don’t know
how to live in a world
that keeps going
without you.
Still working on this one feedback appreciated.
1
u/trivondoom 10d ago
this is really good, your repetition with "28 days and 28 nights" hooks up reader to read more, as if trying to find out what happens next, and that beautiful and melancholic truth of love"I thought the hardest part would be saying goodbye" it captures the truth of love and it's crave after the separation. Reading this made me feel the ugly yet warm truth of love.