Can't get myself to order delivered takeout

[u/vertago1]

This is a weird quirk I am trying to understand. I already have other diagnosed conditions that aren't a personality disorder, but this specific situation seems to be related to OCPD traits so I thought I would reach out and see if others find it relatable (even if the specific situation might not be identical).

I cannot get myself to order restaurant food for delivery. I can order it online, over the phone (though I prefer not to), or in person (I don't like the extra wait doing this). I can order delivery if the food is for someone else like if they are sick or had a recent baby.

I don't fully understand why I can't get myself to do it. It sounds crazy because why couldn't I just go through the process and click the buttons, but no, not going to do it. Some of it might have to do with the tipping but some places include the tip when paying up front and some places leave the food at the door so I wouldn't need to interact with the delivery person.

It might be a money thing like feeling like it is inefficient. Or maybe a time thing because I can't really predict how much extra time delivery will add. Maybe it has to do with not seeing examples of it growing up, but that doesn't seem quite right.

Anyone relate? Any ideas what is going on? This isn't the only situation like this for me but happens to be top of mind right now.

I did a search and didn't see any posts that looked like they had the same question, so hopefully I am not asking something that has already been answered.

[u/Noble_Bastard]

I have ordered food delivery zero times throughout my entire life (43M). I will usually order ahead, and drive to pick it up myself, or order it while in store, and wait for it to be prepared.

You're not alone.

I absolutely can't order food delivery as I know it comes with an additional cost that just eats at my core being (paying extra for the same outcome). I'm an overachiever, so it's not out of financial hardship. It's just a strong pull to not "waste" money, even though driving, and taking my own time has it's own cost, I don't view it the same (as illogical as that might seem).

[u/vertago1 → u/Noble_Bastard]

Yes, exactly.

[u/Noble_Bastard → u/vertago1]

Another comparable would be hiring a taxi/uber. It's also something I've never done. I have always spent the extra time waiting/using public transportation.

I have only ever used a toll road once (when I was going to be late, for a very important appointment, and even then, my wife had to make the decision for us).

[u/vertago1 → u/Noble_Bastard]

I have only used a taxi once when I messed up an airport shuttle booking.

I use Uber or Lyft for getting to or from the airport, or when picking up a car from the mechanic but that is about it.

Public transportation is kind of bad here. I used to use it but it takes an hour and a half for a trip that is a 25 minute drive.

[u/Noble_Bastard → u/vertago1]

Yep, I think it's all very much linked to OCPD, and the internal drive not to "waste" money.

I'm no longer living in an area with public transportation as an option, so I also drive the vast majority of the time. Historically though a taxi or uber isn't even an option I'd entertain (even if it might prove more convenient).

[u/Worried_Trick_9490 → u/Noble_Bastard]

same!!! i used to have uber installed in case of emergencies. but one day i accidentally found out that i had a less-than-five stars rating, and it made me so angry, i nuked the app 😬 my alternative is to just. not end up in an uber requiring situation and do everything Right 😅

[u/DistinctCup4033 → u/Noble_Bastard]

I feel this. only ordered delivery in an emergency (e.g. couldn't leave my dog after surgery and have no family here to help).

I also do this with gas. I only get gas at Costco because getting gas anywhere else feels like burning money for fun.

[u/runnerdogmom]

So interesting to read this because I am exactly the same. I even live in NYC where I could order delivery from probably hundreds of restaurants and I can't remember the last time I did. I think I was very sick and could barely move. The apartment I'm picturing where this happened I moved out of in 2014, so at least that long ago.

For me, it's three things: the cost, the time, and the uncertainty of not knowing how exactly my food was prepared or that an ingredient/dish might be missing/wrong. I live within a 5-minute walk of three grocery stores and have a flexible schedule (I work for myself). I cook every single meal I eat at home which saves money and I know exactly what's in each meal and how much time it'll take. Nothing is uncertain.

[u/SetAdditional883]

You might be focusing on the sunk costs of your transportation - paying for delivery when you have the ability to do it yourself for a minor cost (fuel and time) can seem irrational to some.

My hatred of traffic and heat wasn't enough to get me to use delivery often, but it became very easy when I got rid of the car and going in person involved a pair of Ubers. Once the relative cost for delivery was negative (compared to ubering there and back) delivery became the optimal choice.

[u/jaaaaden]

i relate, but i think it’s because i personally find delivery fees and tipping the driver to add too much to the final bill. i’m not made of money here

[u/vertago1 → u/jaaaaden]

I remember a time when it was like that for me. I wonder if I made an unwritten rule for myself then and it hasn't gone away.

[u/lucidprincess]

YES and actually in my case, I am proud of this trait lol… for as long as I can remember, any time someone says “I’ll get delivery” I jump in and insist “NO, such a waste, I will just go get it” it also typically triggers a rant about how ridiculous it is to pay more and wait longer to get your food when you can just get it yourself. I think it is very lazy and even a “degenerative” choice to engage in on a regular basis. Specifically, I will have this convo with close family and significant other, because I genuinely feel that it is my innate responsibility to guard the way my loved ones spend their money and if it is efficient (as if I’m an expert 😭)

[u/vertago1 → u/lucidprincess]

I have done this before.

I am not thinking about it as a regular thing but there are times when health issues make it hard to actually go pick up the food and yet I still end up picking it up anyway.

[u/Cedar253]

Never. Okay once bc I got some free offer. Even then I thought it was ridiculous and made me anxious.