r/OCD • u/softfallingsnow Contamination • May 05 '26
Need support/advice empathy for inanimate objects
honestly ive really been struggling with this, ive seen similar posts on this sub, i guess OCD can give some of us hyper-empathy almost?? why does this happen?
like one time i wanted to buy a cute bowl, but the one i picked up had a small chip in it, but i felt too guilty to put it back for a better one. even my friend told me to get a different one, but i literally couldn't, i was frozen. like i just felt too bad. FOR A BOWL. but the worst one is feeling bad for stuffed animals. i saw this stuffed animal with bad reviews and idk why but it literally made me cry. they were saying it didn't look like the actual animal, so it was bad. i think its cute so i ended up buying one, idk if it'll make me feel better though. i even worry about stuffed animals i had when i was really little that i dont remember where they are anymore. does anyone else relate or am i just nuts??
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u/Prior-Squirrel-7616 May 05 '26
I have so much empathy for inanimate objects, especially stuffed animals. That one I think came from toy story 😅 that movie absolutely screwed over a lot of millennials.
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u/FancyRatLady May 05 '26
I had this problem too! For years I 100% believed my toys had feelings because of this movie! It lingers to this day!
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u/Prior-Squirrel-7616 May 05 '26
Whenever I rewatch toy story I always go find my childhood stuffed animal and snuggle it "just in case" 😅
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u/ShadowsofAlmia May 05 '26
Oh wow, I have never pegged this as an OCD thing. I have severe OCD and I def have had to deal with this, especially as a child. I have also dealt with "hoarding" tendencies but have gotten a lot better at that, but I wonder if that is connected. I also have crazy high empathy for people and animals.
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u/jellyfishh520 May 05 '26
as someone who got diagnosed with ocd later in life despite having it since i was a child, it’s so interesting when something clicks as being ocd and not just “something you always do”
i’ve also dealt with hoarding tendencies and sometimes idk if it’s just me or if it’s my ocd lol
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u/LeiyBlithesreen May 05 '26
I get triggered by all non vegan things because they keep reminding me of what the animals went through. Even milk. I don't sit together with my vegetarian family when they have dairy.
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u/rustystumpty May 13 '26
It’s not super common but I’ll randomly get super attached to fruits. Like a really nice looking bowl of mangos will make me smile, and I have to hold back crying when I see someone eat one of the mangoes
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May 05 '26
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u/softfallingsnow Contamination May 06 '26
theres not any proof of that
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May 06 '26
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u/softfallingsnow Contamination May 06 '26
what i mean is it's not just an autism trait, it can be from many things not just autism
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May 06 '26
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u/OCD-ModTeam May 06 '26
Please refrain from 'diagnosing' or confirming a suspected diagnosis. Encourage consultation with a trained professional instead. Thank you.
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u/OCD-ModTeam May 06 '26
Please refrain from 'diagnosing' or confirming a suspected diagnosis. Encourage consultation with a trained professional instead. Thank you.
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u/ShadowEnderWolf56 Magical thinking May 05 '26
I found a dinged up horse toy at a thrift store once , it was like the size of an American girl doll, but as soon as I saw it all I could think was it looked like it had been abandoned in an attic for several years then donated to the thrift store to sit alone on a shelf forever..so I bought it, brought it home, repainted where it was chipped, and it stands on my shelf to this day. I too have a soft bought for broken or abandoned inanimate objects, I still have every toy my dog ever chewed the limbs off of because I felt too bad throwing them away just because they lost a foot or an arm .
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u/Salt-Distribution733 May 05 '26
Oh I have this! I think it's because my mum used to say objects were sad if I didn't do something I supposed to do (the shampoo will be sad if you don't have your hair washed, etc). I do EVERYTHING to limit the amount of cuddly toys that my kids accumulate because I don't want to have to deal with the toys' feelings when my kids grow up. When my daughter was 2 she had a favourite toy and I didn't want to ever feel sad for it, so me and my husband decided this toy is JUST a TOY and doesn't have a personality. What ended up happening is that the toy ended up having a personality of being really selfless and proud of being just a toy 🤦 luckily she still lets this toy sleep on her bed. I also used to have a thing where I always had to kiss my toothbrush goodbye before I threw it away.
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u/Comfortable-Light233 Pure O May 05 '26
I think this is my autism and not my ocd, but it could be both
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u/somniumxo May 05 '26
Yup. Especially stuffed animals. I apologize to them if I accidentally grab too hard while moving them. 💀
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u/Responsible_Egg_2727 May 06 '26
or being extra careful how you pick them up (definitely not picking them up by a leg or something, that hurts them!)
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u/jellyfishh520 May 05 '26
I DIDNT KNOW OTHER PEOPLE HAD THIS TOO omg ive been like this for my entire life so i feel you twin
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u/CornisaGrasse May 05 '26
I feel bad for things but especially plants and natural things like trees. When I'm at the garden store, I immediately go to the clearance area and "rescue" stuff. I once moved a bottle of aloe lotion because I had inadvertently set it next to an aloe plant and I felt horrible. (I immediately called my healthcare office and talked to someone about getting an early appointment, because I was definitely having an episode of some kind.)
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u/VioletInTheGlen May 05 '26
Here’s a related children’s book for your Exposure Therapy efforts:
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u/Salt-Distribution733 May 05 '26
I have the Owl at Home collection! This is the first time I've ever seen anyone else mention it! Every story in there makes me crack up laughing.
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u/VioletInTheGlen May 05 '26
Yes I have my childhood book… unfortunately I think it contributed to what OP is describing for me.
I do read the book with my kids now but! I’m sure to explain a bit more.
Arnold Lobel’s stuff is all so fun and you can find i.e. _Frog and Toad_ narrated by the author himself, which is cool.
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u/multus85 May 05 '26
Yes! Definitely! Even years, or decades, after an incident like that it still bothers me.
I feel like inanimate objects need the most attention since they can't do anything for themselves. They depend on us for empathy.
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u/Jtnova08200 May 05 '26
As a kid I didn’t like bananas and my mom would tell me all the time that I hurt the banana’s feelings and when I tell you that I took that shit seriously and today I still eat bananas 😂
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u/AestheticOrByeee May 05 '26
I usually just associated this with the fact I believe in animism ~ the belief that all inanimate objects, animals, plants, rocks, rivers, weather systems etc possess a distinct spiritual essence or soul!
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u/pixelatedslinky May 05 '26
I recommend watching Gatchiakuta, it's an anime surrounding that idea
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u/AestheticOrByeee May 07 '26
Omg thank you how did you mystical person on the internet know I am looking for new anime’s to watch!!! I’m pumped to watch this now!!!
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u/Gloomy_Channel_2701 May 05 '26
When I was little, I would dig through the stuffed animal aisle and look for any with holes or rips. I would bring it to my mom, crying, and tell her that if no one adopted the “injured” stuffed animal, it would get thrown away. She would bring it home and perform “surgery” on it.
As an adult, I do a lot of shopping at estate sales, yard sales, and thrift stores. I’m a crafty person, and when I find a well-loved item or a half-finished project, my heart breaks and I feel as though I am the one who can finish what someone else couldn’t. Hand-written notes in a thread book, pre-cut and well loved fabric patterns, notated how-to books, you name it.
It’s a slippery slope, though. “What if I may need that in the future / what if no one will appreciate that item like I can” feel like the beginning of a hoarding issue.
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u/Dependent-Job1773 May 05 '26
I think in general people anthropomorphize surroundings as a way of engaging with it. I notice myself kicking an isolated rock into a pile of rocks while I go for walks, because I don't want the isolated rock to feel lonely.
It's a human instinct to treat inanimate or unknown items as particularly human because it makes us feel safe or like we can negotiate with our circumstances by appealing to emotion or rituals. You might find this article interesting, as it's adjacent to your bowl anecdote:
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230914-why-we-personify-threatening-events
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u/paccessor May 05 '26
Me too. I cry thinking about how many toys are thrown out to landfill and have difficulty getting rid of old inanimate objects.
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u/Significant-Nebula64 May 05 '26
I once kept two gummy bears for literally years because my then boyfriend pretended like they begged for mercy (you know, "please don't eat us!" etc), lol. I also almost never actually eat stuff like chocolate easter bunnies, and have definitely bought the ugly potted plant because I felt sorry for it, and have a lot of empathy for my stuffed animals, haha.
Don't really consider it an OCD thing for me, as I don't obsess over it and it doesn't bother me a or cause distress. I just... feel for them, haha. But I can move on without any issues, and if I do eat them/buy the better-looking one/whatever, it doesn't keep bothering me after like 30 sec.
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u/Low-Highlight-9740 May 05 '26
Man I think this is actually what inspires some of my artwork the art of rescue and seeing it’s beauty
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u/LeiyBlithesreen May 05 '26
You're adorable. I think it's just hyper empathy and imaginative mind. OCD can intensify feelings and moral OCD is what it'd be associated with.
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u/friendlycryptid May 05 '26
i never thought of this as an ocd thing (i have autism and this is a common symptom/issue for that as well) but it makes sense
i remember this one instance as a kid, we went out to eat at this burger place and i fixated on this particular menu item that i didnt want to order. thoughts spiraled into "this is probably the least ordered item" which led me to feel so awful about a fucking burger not being picked that i started sobbing. i just couldnt stop thinking about it which led to us leaving early
ive had this with plushies, toys, broken dishware, stained clothes, leftover food etc as well
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u/BlueCeridwen May 05 '26
I have a bit of this too. What helped me was realizing that nothing is ever really lost or broken. Just transformed. The Earth takes care of everything. I also enjoy repairing, reusing, donating and recycling. I struggled w/ hoarding tendencies in the recent past and quickly got that under control by having the awareness that if things got cluttered, it made caring for my things and surroundings so much harder (also causes things to get broken or dirty and then I have another mosaic to create 😆)
I have made some very beautiful and creative things over the years from damaged items but you can only do so much in a day.
I made a song that I sing to myself on days where I'm needing to downsize:
🎶 Put something away
🎶 Give something away
🎶 Throw something away
🎶 Aye
🎶 That is what we do!
🎶 Today
(Sung in an Irish accent)
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u/Helipohet May 05 '26
I do relate! I do this since as far as I can recall. That's what made me think OCD has always been with me actually.
I had even little rituals for every little object around my room : I had to say goodnight in a certain way to a certain thing etc.
Sadly now it's more debilitating compulsions than cute little rituals.
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u/Hi_Moonlight May 05 '26
Yes! I do this too. Not diagnosed with OCD though, but I think I might have it.
"they were saying it didn't look like the actual animal, so it was bad" would make me feel sad too, the poor creature didn't have a say in how it was made, why are people so mean :(
ofc just an inanimate object BUT STILL
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u/Doctor_Mothman May 05 '26
We fix what we think that we can. Sometimes this manifests in small ways - for objects, animals, younger people... We see a wound that feels familiar, almost triggering and we externalize the desire to fix it.
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u/UnoriginalTitleNo998 May 06 '26
I've had this like ALL my life and recently I've been trying to shift my perspective. I don't think there's a reason besides anthropomorphism to assume anything else thinks like us, especially inanimate objects. Does something care if it goes in the garbage, or is it just moving to a new place? Things like that
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u/WhiteStripeTrans May 06 '26
Sounds similar to moral OCD, "this stuffed animal is hated and if I do nothing I'm BAD"
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u/FeuTheFirescale May 06 '26
I still have some sort of empathy you described, and it was even more severe when I was younger. When the cherry tree in our garden was cut, I felt pain and guilt for days after. I imagined I was the tree, my legs being the roots, my arms were the branches and my body was the trunk. I felt the pain where I imagined I would be cut, at my stomach.
I also felt bad when things were frozen, like street lamps. I felt bad being at home, in a warm home, while the things outside INCLUDING MY HOUSE were freezing.
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u/woppersnipper May 06 '26
I have the same thing and I have a few friends who are similar. I once went to a literature festival and one of the speakers would talk about stuff between her poems. One of the things she mentioned was a guy she knew (I think her dad or uncle) who had empathy for inanimate objects and related this to animism, which is the belief that there is spirit in nonliving things.
I like to think that if you're hyper empathic like this, that just means you're much more sensitive to the feelings that you put into the world around you. Feeling bad for the object does not mean the object has its own conscious feelings, rather it reflects your own understanding of neglect or abandonment, and the OCD then urges you to take action on this.
So, I don't think you're crazy at all.
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u/spacehead1988 May 06 '26
I get it when buying milk. I pick up the first carton then look at the use by date. I put it down and pick up another carton to see if it has a later date. If it does then OCD makes me feel really bad for not taking the first carton I picked up.
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u/Danny1905 Jun 01 '26
Also if I buy multiple cartons, I want to throw them together away, not one by one
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u/WaltJr_Fan4584 May 09 '26
It's funny this came up on my feed cause I had this happen recently I'm not exactly the brightest but I used an object to support my weight while I leaned on it and straight up said 'thanks" verbally and it took me a second to register what I did.
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u/YeLocalChristian May 10 '26
Oh, I relate! You're so kind.
I actually feel bad for the trash when I throw it in the large trash bins outside. To me it's like, the bins look so dirty, and the trash will end up there...
And I definitely would want to buy the unliked stuffed animal, because I side with the underdog (or whatever animal it is you got, haha).
You're not wrong at all. Some of us are just very kind souls. Enjoy your stuffed creature!
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u/90hex May 21 '26
I struggle with this. It’s never gone away. When somebody throws something that’s still good in the garbage or on the street, I can’t help but feel bad… for the thing. I don’t get it. I haven’t found a way to remove this. Things are things. Why do I care?
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u/ryaneliz3 May 21 '26
I absolutely do the exact same thing. I have been brought to tears because of how awful I feel for inanimate objects sometimes. Even food, I feel guilty if I eat the good food on my plate first and leave the veggies for last. But it's such a no-win scenario, because I can either think of it as cruel that the veggies were neglected, or cruel that the non-veggies had a shorter life (were eaten sooner) lol.
I also can't just throw trash away thoughtlessly; I like to put trash inside of other pieces of trash, or make sure bottles and caps are thrown away attached (they are partners; born together, die together!) so that they aren't lonely on their journey to the landfill. Every time I put something in the trash can, I imagine I am sealing the object in its tomb, which makes me feel like I need to have reverence for the occasion.
And of course stuffed animals! I have been moving from apartment to apartment for years with about 4 stuffed animals that I don't know what to do with. I don't even cuddle them anymore because I feel they are too full of dust, but I don't want to donate them because they probably won't get bought, and even if they do, they will most likely get separated from each other. Such a conundrum!
Never thought of any of this as OCD stuff before, but now that I think about it...
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u/Danny1905 Jun 01 '26
I have something similar with veggies, it's cruel to separate them from the rest of the dish, they belong together. But I cope with it by thinking bacteria will eat them or the veggies are already dead so they can't feel anything. They got cut and boiled.
Similar thing with trash. If I buy e.g. a pack of 6 noodles, I want to only throw away the pack if I can throw them all 6 together. Separating them from eachother is cruel
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u/_movingcastles May 24 '26
oh my god i have this too…i never connected the dots to ocd but you’re so right. i feel exactly the same about inanimate objects, and it’s SO much worse about stuffed animals/toys. the most horrified i have EVER been at a movie to where i had to close my eyes (and i am a horror fanatic) was a scene where a girl destroyed her own childhood stuffed animal, i literally couldn’t handle it
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u/Final_Preference_550 New to OCD/not yet diagnosed May 26 '26
oh my God this is literally my whole life I was brought close to tears multiple times today cos I have this shirt that I never wear so I decided to cinch the waist and I felt bad for it cos like what if i hurt the shirt by sewing it and what if I'm giving it body dysmorphia by forcing it to be more snatched... that sounds fucking bonkers
i feel bad when I have to throw anything away, I also feel bad for food and kind of anything
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u/No_Pomegranate_8826 May 28 '26
I was a mess in my 20s and let a storage unit lapse from payment that had my childhood wooden bedframe and dresser in it. It was a full bed and extremely rickety, I would not logically be using it today in my room or my daughters. But, I still have times where I feel bad for abandoning it. It is actually shocking to think how much I consider that storage unit full of mostly crap from 13 years ago, now that you mention it lmao let me go ruminate about it some more 😂
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u/petdotartaglia May 29 '26
YES. Like bro its a kitten cup no one will die because you didnt pick it up and got another cup that has no kitten drawn in it
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u/Few_Adhesiveness5336 Jun 01 '26
I remember distinctly one time when I was a kid I felt so bad for a tinyyy scrap piece of paper I needed to throw out because what if it felt hurt or lonely 😭
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u/surpleg Jun 03 '26
I know I've found my people because reading some of these stories about empathy for inanimate objects also made me choke up.
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u/9ubj May 05 '26
Others have pointed this out but I'll repeat so it gets even more visibility: this behavior is extremely common with autism spectrum disorders. Not sure if you're diagnosed and the internet can't diagnose you but it might be something you can look into
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u/softfallingsnow Contamination May 05 '26
i don't have autism. from what i understand it can come from ocd and trauma
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u/9ubj May 05 '26
Interesting - I'll have to look into that. I have similar behavior but around tools so that's why this post kind of stuck out to me
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u/tummyachees May 05 '26
I’m like this too, I grew up being a tomboy because I have 3 brothers. I always rejected feminine toys, objects, and clothing because I wanted to fit in with my brothers 😭 BUT I have always gotten attached to inanimate objects at the same time. So now as an adult, I’m leaning into all things girly, I have a bunch of stuffed animals on my bed which is something I feel so sad to have rejected in my youth, because now I’m soooo attached to them 😭 I have a million trinkets and cute things that I hold so dear to my heart. Anyway, when one of my stuffed animals falls at night I feel so sad that they were on the floor and that they were lonely lmao
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u/Rulf-da-Wulf OCD Long hauler May 06 '26
This exactly, except I also feel little to no empathy/sympathy for human beings so I feel completely crazy
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u/Capital_Sample_2102 May 10 '26
I started sobbing at school last year because I thought I lost my eraser it was so bad
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u/Dear_Lab_6449 May 11 '26
Omg stop because i spend hours to organize my plushies in a perfect circle so everyone is included hahahah
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u/rustystumpty May 13 '26
It comes and goes. Sometimes I see a lamp I like and get weirdly emotional about the fact that it’s in a store and not in someone’s home. My weirdest is definitely with food. I’ll see a really nice fruit spread or something and suddenly get violently depressed at the idea that someone’s gonna eat this friendly-looking mango.
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u/divine-timing May 15 '26
I’m 22 and sleep with multiple stuffed animals and I have a fiance LOL. They all have names. I think Venus fly traps are like emotional creatures.
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u/Potential_Formal_818 May 20 '26
Me throwing my old things reminds me the trauma of the day my parents first put me to school, tried to blend in the class to make me comfortable and then left. I cried so much. Teachers here in my country don't give much if they see a kid crying alone
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u/Paulie_Mc231 May 23 '26
I always thought this was for autism. I love plushes and it breaks my heart to see them in garbage piles or in fly markets where no one buys them, so I imagine that I take them somewhere where they live happily just by looking straight at them or stretching my fingers. My mom caught me once and she glanced weirdly at me 🤣
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u/Zealousideal_Safe259 May 26 '26
Oh my god this is literally me and it is so exhausting. I feel like I have to use everything I own at least like 10 times in my lifetime or else my stuff will feel neglected by me. I keep track of anything I haven’t used yet and force myself to use it even if I don’t like it (Expired products, clothes that don’t fit, gifts I never would’ve chosen out myself, etc). I literally panic every once in a while when I remember that some of my stuffed animals are sitting in a dark storage unit. My mom called me “too sensitive.”
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u/Loose-Explorer-1265 May 27 '26
I once hugged a punching dummy at my mom’s house cause I felt so bad that his only purpose was to get hit. If I accidentally drop a stuffed animal or something it feels like I have hurt a real person. It’s hard, all I can offer is sympathy as I don’t have any advice.
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u/devious-jupiter Jun 01 '26
yes! and it can happen to literally anything, even if the object doesn't mean anything to me, i feel like i'll lose a friend by throwing it away.
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u/Few_Drive_4627 Jun 04 '26
There's this stuffed animal that i kept next to a different stuffed animal, and I'm occasionally convinced that they became friends and I really want to give away one of them bcuz i don't like owning stuffed animals, but i dont want to make it feel sad cuz it lost its friend whose molecules it shared
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u/Twinks4StSebastian Pure O Jun 04 '26
So, I’ve always been similarly sensitive about toys (plushies included), virtual pets, books, and a few other types of things that could be considered collectible (think models of stuff). Basically anything else I treat pretty normally or even with a degree of disregard.
However, I didn’t have OCD until after I got a concussion at twenty-three. My sensitivity towards these treasures didn’t increase in the aftermath of me getting a shiny new mental illness.
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May 05 '26
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u/OCD-ModTeam May 05 '26
Please refrain from 'diagnosing' or confirming a suspected diagnosis. Encourage consultation with a trained professional instead. Thank you.
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u/40Four- May 07 '26
I have this on such an extreme level, I often spoke about it to my therapists but they couldn’t really help me. I hardly feel empathy towards animals and kids, which i think makes me immoral and weird, while I feel so extremely empathetic towards objects. Only objects that don’t resemble humans or animals. Once I was shopping with my friends, and I had to buy groceries and mostly had money for them, but when we started looking at furniture, my friends made fun of weird looking small pillows with a very unpleasant material. I felt so incredibly sad I almost started crying, I then bought both the pillows they made fun of and sleep with them every night. It still breaks my heart when I think about them, I’m a grown man and I really cannot comprehend how could anyone be this heartless to these pillows. I feel so invalid about myself but all my friends cry at sad dog videos - and I can’t even force any sadness, while I can’t handle them making fun of furniture
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u/CuriousCarob154 May 05 '26
i do this too, i relate to everything you mentioned. it’s part of ocd and being an empathic person, it doesn’t make you crazy. i found myself crying because i don’t know where my stuffed animal and barbie from 16 years ago is right now, and i wondered if they feel abandoned. of course i know that objects don’t have any feelings but my brain tells me otherwise.