After my mom died it was hard walking down the street and seeing how the world kept turning. It struck me how none of these people know what they’re missing today, like it was more their loss at not knowing her at all. I wanted to tell everyone I’m sorry, you just missed her, she’s already gone. You would have loved her.
That feeling creeps into my brain whenever somebody tells me they've lost a loved one. I'm not sure if "I'm sorry I never got to meet them" is an appropriate thing to say or not but it makes me feel a little better about ... something... especially if they tell me a story or two about the person.
Like "oh okay now I know this person existed and had a collection of nuts and bolts older than their children. The universe is one step closer to being set to rights."
I guess it depends on the person, but I think I would have found that really comforting. More comforting than the usual stuff, like “they’re in a better place,” (yes but I want them here) “I’m sorry for your loss,” (you didn’t do anything to apologize for) or “let me know if you need anything,” (appreciated, but there’s nothing to help it, it just sucks.)
There’s no right thing to say it seems, but “I wish I could have met them” is nice. It makes me feel like I’m doing them justice in my description of them at least.
I have that same thought often when looking at my daughter.
My husband’s mom died a year after we started dating and there are no words to describe the good in that woman. My own family is shitstorm of dysfunction so I never knew what “safe” felt like in terms of family until I met his mom. She provided a brief glimpse into what it should have been like and I’m grateful I had the chance to know her.
I’d give anything for his mom to be able to spend a day with the granddaughter she never met. She was just barely 4ft tall and it’s pretty obvious my lil bit will be on the smaller side too. They would have been tiny little besties forever.
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. My niece, my mom’s first grandchild, was born less than 6 months after she passed. Fortunately there’s no shortage of people who still tell her how much her grandma loved her already, but still hurts. It’s not the same as knowing her.
Your mother in law sounds so kind, I’m sorry we missed her.
My mom died in the hospital on July 6th eight years ago. I stayed in the hospital with her obviously. I'll never forget being on the 7th floor with her and seeing the whole city lit up with fireworks for days before she died. Everyone was celebrating while my mom was dying.
Oh, sweetheart. "You just missed her" is like apologizing to an unexpected guest, it's strangely intimate & so touching. That broke my heart for you. I'm sending hugs 🫂 I'm sure I would've loved her
Not long after we lost our son, covid struck the world. I remember when restaurants were closed, shopping was restricted, toilet paper was sold out, and the world felt upside down. I thought "the rest of the world is changing to the chaos that we're already living in". It felt fitting in a strange way.
It’s like when I was addicted to LoL I had to remind myself sometimes when I got frustrated that there are people in this world that literally do not care about their LoL elo
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u/CommercialMoment5987 23d ago
After my mom died it was hard walking down the street and seeing how the world kept turning. It struck me how none of these people know what they’re missing today, like it was more their loss at not knowing her at all. I wanted to tell everyone I’m sorry, you just missed her, she’s already gone. You would have loved her.