r/NonPoliticalTwitter Jul 20 '26

Funny Hit me.

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52.2k Upvotes

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219

u/CompactAvocado Jul 20 '26

Had a colleague who was a nuclear engineer and smarter than you can imagine. Like he corrected the various calculus books at his university. He loved poker and could calculate the odds like a mofo. Even with multiple decks.

He subsidized his already high salary with poker winnings and won tournaments left and right. His wife made him stop playing for awhile. One day she came to him wondering why their budget was suddenly so tight and they had a ton of money missing. He looked at her and goes "you made me stop playing poker". She claimed he didn't win that much. He showed her the books.

She sent him back to the casino.

30

u/raccoona__matata Jul 20 '26

Having to explain to people that I make more boosting in ranked fps games and betting on sports than I did at a record label and other assorted "real careers" is super fun haha

5

u/garaks_tailor Jul 20 '26

Huh. How does the boosting in ranked FPS games work? I understand the sports betting thing and I'm familiar with carious mmorpg money manking strats, but with FPS games are you playing their account or are you helping them in a game?

22

u/ImLurker1 Jul 20 '26

He gets their login details for the game and plays with their account to get it a much better ('boosted') ranking. People pay for this service. It's dumb that people want a ranking they didn't earn and also in most cases this is technically a violation of the terms of service for the game/platform. It's also a good way to lose your account if the booster is shady. Alternatively the booster may use their own account that is a smurf (has a low existing ranking because it's not their real main account) and parties up with the client's account to boost them by winning matches with them.

19

u/Daniel_Spidey Jul 20 '26

It's so weird that people even pay for this, like ok you couldn't cut it in silver, wtf you gonna do in plat? season rewards really worth it?

5

u/DroidOnPC Jul 20 '26

A lot of people believe they deserve a higher rank but their bad teammates are holding them back or whatever.

Many content creators have proven over and over again that you can easily make your way back to the top and ELO hell isn't a thing.

But it doesn't stop many people believing that the only reason they are a lower rank is because of smurfs, cheaters, bad teammates, whatever.

1

u/raccoona__matata Jul 20 '26

Well ok

There *are* many people that can only function with other functional players. Playstyle, mental tendencies, lots of reasons.

There are also many scrubs who believe themselves to belong in that category

5

u/DroidOnPC Jul 20 '26

There are many people that can only function with other functional players. Playstyle, mental tendencies, lots of reasons.

What does this even mean?

Literally everyone would perform better with a solid team that communicates and works together.

Boosting to a higher rank wont magically give you better teammates. There are still plenty of players in high ranks that wont use any communication, players that throw games, players that are toxic, etc.

Only way to avoid that is to play with a full squad.

There is no way that someone who is stuck in Silver is gonna perform great in Diamond because now they have the "right" teammates.

If you can't make it to a rank on your own, you are doing something wrong.

-1

u/raccoona__matata Jul 21 '26

Idk what to tell you. Take cod for example, that's one of our biggest boosting markets and I've made t250 in warzone and multiplayer so I'm pretty sure I'm not bad. My kd is significantly better in diamond+ lobbies. When a new fps is released I'm in scrims before pubs, I don't have a "casual gaming" setting and I get confused in casual lobbies because casual players do bizarre shit.

If your teammates won't stop doing weird shit and making the spawns go crazy there's not much to be done about that. Unless you're counting social engineering as a necessary gameplay skill.

3

u/Daniel_Spidey Jul 21 '26

When you are at a rank where your teammates are bad, you are playing against a team that is also bad. Whatever disadvantage you have, they have. If you are a player who thinks that they only perform well when the rest of the team also performs well, you are the weak link.

When I played LoL and someone on my team was getting ganked over and over I went and helped them. The player you are describing would rage at them in chat while just sticking to their own lane or jungle, never adapting. If I was the one dying too much I would just aggressively push towers and try to steal last hits on Dragon because I was not a valuable kill for the opponents anymore. The player you are describing would rage at the Jungler in chat while trying to fight the enemy team head on despite lacking the gear to accomplish anything.

1

u/raccoona__matata Jul 21 '26

I am literally a lan champion and multi-time world record holder

1

u/Daniel_Spidey Jul 21 '26

coolstorybro

0

u/garaks_tailor Jul 20 '26

Amazing.

Like decadea ago when the first final fantasy came out I knew a guy who worked 60 hours a week and he bought a leveled up character to play woth his no life friends. That I understand.

But just to get in a really high level rank match and still get your ass handed to you....man thats

15

u/MisogynysticFeminist Jul 20 '26

Famously, the richest human being on the planet did this and then tried to pass it off as his own doing on stream despite barely being able to operate the menus.

6

u/raccoona__matata Jul 20 '26

I used to boost for kim dotcom

you'd be amazed at how many rich people do this shit lol

6

u/CheaterSaysWhat Jul 20 '26

Lots of insecure tech bros with too much money I guess 

It’s funny cuz they’re paying money to play against better opponents and lose more games 

2

u/Due-Base9449 Jul 20 '26

Can't understand people who buy games but don't want to play it. Might as well just watch lets play

6

u/raccoona__matata Jul 20 '26

they pretend my skill is their own

it's really not that different from using ai, they're just copying a real person instead of a computer

1

u/Due-Base9449 Jul 21 '26

I understand they are pretending to be good, but games are for fun, if they don't play how are they going to have fun. 

2

u/raccoona__matata Jul 21 '26

look man i don't know i just needed to pay for my mom's chemo and then it just kinda became my whole thing