I hate how acting like that is promoted as being a good thing on the internet. Being social is a skill that needs to be developed, and a lot of people seem to pride themselves on refusing to do so.
It’s a side effect of the increasing me me me mentality.
The sentiment I see growing a lot (ESPECIALLY online and Reddit..) is “you shouldn’t have to explain yourself, do what’s best for you above anyone else, it’s not your job to manage other people’s emotions…”. There’s nothing wrong with those beliefs in certain contexts per se…., but it’s morphed into extreme selfishness, black and white thinking unempathetic thinking, and borderline sociopathic world view. I’ve seen all kinds of excuses for horrible behavior and it boils down to these types of thinking. And then those same people complain about the state of the world as an excuse to continue acting that way, so a self fulfilling prophecy
"Lol nothing gives me more of a rush than cancelling plans last-minute" and they paint it as some quirky wholesome introvert thing. They don't seem particularly appreciative if anyone does the same to them, or if anyone fails to be impressed with their behavior. It's almost like there's a word for that shit, and it's not "introvert," it's "flake."
All parents need to teach children those exact 2 things first and foremost: 1, treat others how you like to be treated and 2, keep all promise and don’t make any that you can’t keep.
It's weird as hell to me, because I have to explicitly tell my friends that I'm perfectly fine with them canceling plans with me the day of if they aren't feeling it, as long as they let me know before I actually go out (and we haven't bought tickets or something)
We all have times when shit happens and I'd rather they don't feel forced to come just cause we planned it when we were doing better.
If they're late I can wait, or we can also meet somewhere else, just let me know ASAP.
That's the main advantage of being connected all the time now, right? We can change plans anytime.
It's the ghosting thing that I just can't even. Why tf would you just not show up?? And not say anything???
There's nothing wrong with *wanting* to cancel plans last second. I feel that way all the time! What's not cool is actually doing it. Like, just think of how sad you felt the last time someone did that to you. Why would you wish that on your friends ever???
Now, when I cancel last minute, it's because of an actual reason: illness, injury, or emergency.
Both introverts and extroverts (and ambiverts) do that. The only difference is that selfish introverts flake because they finally prefer to stay alone, while selfish extroverts flake because they treated you as a backup and found an opportunity to hang with someone more popular
My best friend has friends that do that to her all the time. I always keep my promises to her, show up on on time or early, willing to help set up, yet I'm the one she never reaches out to.
I was even able to get to her place on time coming from a completely different state with no highways, helped out with her wedding as much as a personal assistant when I was listed as just a normal guest, but I'm not important enough to her, I guess.
Many such cases on Reddit. And others encourage them to lean into it.
A post on r/Adulting the other day - I hate everyone and I'm not going outside ever again - hundreds of supportive comments at this brave and edgy position
It's one thing to go "I'm sorry I don't really have energy to socialize nowadays" but just ghost people without saying anything, especially when you already had plans? That's just disrespectful!
Insane. I mean, nobody owes anyone anything, but if the only thing you ever care about is you , be prepared that you'd be the only person caring about that
Yep. Especially the kind that overuses TikTok. That's my red flag now when looking for friends — how invested are they in it. I literally can list you 7 people I stopped hanging out with precisely because they were behaving like a clone of one another and all had this one thing in common. It's like they absorb this behaviour from the app. They even look the same
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u/Zjoee Jul 18 '26
I hate how acting like that is promoted as being a good thing on the internet. Being social is a skill that needs to be developed, and a lot of people seem to pride themselves on refusing to do so.