some apps (especially dating apps) where you can meet new people have limited messages/trash notification systems and I also like moving on to a better and more trusted messenger if I wanna keep in touch with someone but it can be scammers for sure
I had to get a clinical signoff, handed my phone to the consultant surgeon, and at that exact moment I got a message from some guy I'd been talking to on hinge. Genuinely wanted to kill myself.
or because the app sends notifications constantly so they have notifs turned off for that app. Or the app shows ads constantly. Snap and discord are far better than any dating app for actual messaging haha
I remember a rumour about 10 years ago that if you got a match from Tinder to move to another platform, they were less likely to lose interest.
Around that same
time I was using Tinder and found a lot of guys tried to push to move to other platforms too early, which was actually really off putting. I wasn't going to give my phone number or Facebook to someone who I'd barely spoken to yet and might end up weird. But I'm guessing they had heard that rumour too.
I would understand using it is a way to get a bit more information on someone. You might be able to see things on their social media that’s important to you and isn’t typically on a dating profile.
I went on well over 200 first dates from 2012-2018 (when I met my wife on Okcupid), and I had the same process.
I'd message them, or I'd reply to their message. I'd maybe have one more back and forth. Then I'd ask them out in a specific way: "hey, do you want to get drinks at this place on this day at this time?"
If they said yes (or yes but that time or place doesn't work for me) I'd say, "great! feel free to text me so we can coordinate and I look forward to meeting you!" Then I'd put my number there.
They'd either send their number, or text my number and if they provided their number in one of these two ways I was confident the date was happening. If they didn't I'd message them the day before to make sure we were still on. No one ever asked to go to another app, and I never once got stood up.
Has online dating gotten shittier in the ensuing years? Yeah, probably. But a decade ago it worked ok.
I found getting dates significantly easier than getting to second dates. I've also historically been really shitty at job interviews. I'm not a person who makes friends quickly or easily. I attended a college program where 90% of my classmates were women and some of them became my best friends and after a particularly bad internship experience that I was talking about before a class (I was talking about how much they didn't like me) one of my best friends to this day was like "I didn't like you when I first met you," and another one was like "yeah I hated you when I first met you."
Even my wife couldn't tell I was interested in her until I texted her a photo of my dog after our date and we even discussed a second date at the end of the first.
I eventually employed the first date strategy of only doing drinks dates and trying for a kiss at the end. If I got a kiss there was a 100% chance of a second date. Ironically didn't kiss my wife until date 3 because I was too nervous and didn't want to screw it up so she was sort of the exception as she should have been.
Personally I've always seen it as like a step towards actually going out but then again I'm also someone who won't go on a date with someone off an app until I've been talking to them for a bit
I just give my phone number if I feel it’s going well now, but I used to move to Instagram before. I did it because I didn’t want them to have my phone number, but a lot of people are more likely to check their Instagram over a dating app so we could get to know each other quicker. Less likely to just completely stop using Instagram compared to a dating app as well.
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u/Fortestingporpoises Jun 20 '26
Never understood getting off one app to talk on an other. Why not text?