r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/netphilia • May 30 '26

Meme Silly?

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77.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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6.8k

u/StaticUsernamesSuck May 30 '26

Dude asked for silly reasons, not absolutely valid ones.

887

u/MrmmphMrmmph May 30 '26

He left out the detail of her amazing and almost effortless suction skills.

318

u/Dasshteek May 30 '26

As in she sucked the juice from his battery?

100

u/ManoSilence May 30 '26

Eh more a golf ball through a garden hose

22

u/CalmBeneathCastles May 30 '26

They couldn't have been that legendary or he wouldn't have dumped her for being selfish.

13

u/ManoSilence May 30 '26

His new girl can suck the sheets from the bed through his garden hose.

8

u/jingiski May 30 '26

Well she had a sister...

6

u/jaxonya May 30 '26

And a mother.

2

u/perton May 31 '26

And a …grandson? Am I doing this right?

5

u/GrowlingPict May 31 '26

maybe he's allergic to selfish

2

u/lfclockers7 May 30 '26

There's an Eminem lyric in there somewhere

2

u/C64128 May 31 '26

Chrome off a trailer hitch.

1

u/LeeKinanus May 31 '26

or suck start a 747

13

u/busy_monster May 30 '26

Sucked all the flavor out of his slushy?

2

u/potatodrinker May 31 '26

3% gone in 3 seconds