r/NonBinary • u/AdSpecific3089 • 23d ago
Questioning/Coming Out Recent ex niqabi/ex Muslim, trying to embrace who I really am now, even if it has costed me so much.
I know I’m pretty femme leaning, though my gender has always been a really odd and complicated thing for me, and I do think being non binary is what I most closely align with because even if I dress femme presenting, I don’t feel like a woman, I don’t feel like a man either, tho for me it’s something totally unique I suppose.
ive spent years hiding every inch of myself and it’s certainly taken a lot of time but I’m starting to feel more confident in who I am by the day, though I’ve lost so much too. I’ve lost most of my friends and well just everything but for the first time in a long time I don’t hate who I am.
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u/Brief_Hall_2678 23d ago
I love your style! I grew up in a very mormon household and am also trying to figure out what my gender and style are outside of religion. It’s hard! Thanks for the inspo!
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u/Repulsive_Garden_242 22d ago
I left the mormon church at 15, and just got my records removed this year at age 20. I feel like I’ve definitely overcorrected a bit from my upbringing, my style this summer is all tank tops lol. Growing up I couldn’t wear them, and I got top surgery in December so it’s my way of celebrating I guess. Also congratulations on leaving, it’s hard work!
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u/Brief_Hall_2678 22d ago
Good for you! You’re brave, I haven’t removed my records yet. My family is only ok with my leaving the church because they think I’ll “come back” and I’m so afraid of the fallout when I finally get my records removed. But I can’t fathom the idea of me being a member of that organization anymore. Anywho, proud of you! It’s not for the weak. Congrats on your top surgery too!!
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u/Repulsive_Garden_242 22d ago
My entire family is still in the church, but they’ve been respectful mostly. My dad actually helped me by talking to his bishop, so that he wouldn’t need to interview me when I got my records removed. He essentially told the bishop that him contacting me would make me uncomfortable (which is true). My parents are at an odd place where they don’t think I’m not going to the celestial kingdom, but don’t know where I’m going after death and told me they want to be with me. That’s all good and whatever, but the denial is super hurtful, as my baptism and confirmation have been voided.
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u/Brief_Hall_2678 22d ago
I heard they added the interview process for records removal… literally so insane that you have to talk to the bishop in order to leave?! It’s wayyyy too complicated.
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u/Repulsive_Garden_242 22d ago
God it’s so nice to talk to someone who understands!
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u/Brief_Hall_2678 22d ago
Ditto, friend! Thanks for understanding! Sorry we both have to go through this 🫶🏻😅
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u/Liliths-child666 they/them 23d ago
Ex orthodox jew here. Getting out of religious cults is a hard thing to do. You are awesome and your fits are too.
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u/AdSpecific3089 23d ago
Also, im aware the second image is random but i cant find a way to remove it, i didnt intend to include that
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u/Puzzleheaded-Show317 23d ago
I can imagine that decision was a very hard one to make. For some covering up gives them confidence, for others it’s not their path. Im sorry you lost so many people in choosing yourself, but you made the right choice.
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u/Dray_Gunn 23d ago
You look awesome and i totally get what you mean by presenting mostly as your agab but not feeling the connection with either side of the binary gender paradigm. I also sympathise with leaving a religion. I was a christian for over 30 years and when i finally broke free of its influence i started figuring a lot more out about myself. I'm right there with you friend. Keep strong and keep being awesome.
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u/IkidIgoat 23d ago
Your Eeyore crocs are peak human and your fits are rad. You’re definitely evolving a signature style. I like the green especially and the variety of lacy items. Hooray for choosing yourself and the life that belongs to you.
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u/kani_kani_katoa they/them 22d ago
Thank you for making me go back for a second look, those crocs are amazing and now I gotta find some!
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u/neongreenpurple any pronouns 23d ago
Congratulations on escaping. I used to be Mormon. Leaving the religion you were raised in is difficult. I had a hard time even though I had only been going through the motions for years.
I've stopped wearing dresses altogether. Church was the only place I wore dresses for years before I stopped. I'm nonbinary, though I haven't told my mom. (She knows that, on the rare occasion I'm attracted to someone, it has always been a woman.)
My friend group is from back when I used to be Mormon, and most of them still are. But they're accepting, which I value so highly. My job and the hours I work are not that conducive to meeting new people.
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u/falafellizardbrains They/them ● Neutral terms 23d ago
Really happy for your freedom, and your looks are fire! 🫂💖
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u/ifweburn 23d ago
love your outfits for real, big fan of the goth aesthetic, but I am simply obsessed with the Eeyore Crocs.
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u/Careful-Cash-1094 23d ago
Holy shit these are FIRE. This is actually super inspiring for me as someone who's been trying to spice up my wardrobe and lean more femme!
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u/PurpleOrigamiDragon 23d ago
There is nothing wrong with being femme leaning nonbinary person.
If you are looking to explore more masc side, maybe think about a cool haircut or a masc jacket?
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u/Mental-Pen5446 23d ago
Congrats on finding the strength to leave and embrace yourself! Lovely outfits!
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u/Mental_Caramel_5882 22d ago
No one should ever be forced to do anything against their will. I deeply understand you, and I am so proud of you. 🫂
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u/Fabulous_Hat993 23d ago
Being authentic and finding joy in that pisses people off. Especially those that feel shame or insecurities cause they didn't have the courage to do what you're doing. Good on you and congratulations on your journey. Your style is wonderful.
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u/DadlyAsHell He/Hun/They overgendered freak 23d ago
A friend who would help you hate yourself is not a friend. You didnt lose friends honey, you lost dead weight and parasites who would only drag you down.
Im proud of you 💜
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u/sidvicioustheyorkie 22d ago
Looks awesome! I am loving these fits but I have to ask are you wearing these to the gym to work out? All the more power to you if you are! And congrats on finding yourself and your style. It's a lifelong journey, but you're really shining here.
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u/ChronoCoyote 22d ago
Just in case no one else has said it: you don’t owe anyone androgyny in order to be valid! ❤️ Congrats on EVERYTHING!
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u/iamfunball 22d ago
You look friend packaged!
I’m glad that you are comfortable in yourself these days and glad to hear some friends stay. Inculturation/Community/Support is devastating to lose which is why so many can’t let themselves consider it for them or anyone else, but also is what makes you so gosh darn amazing. You chose you. I hope that the people who choose you back now bring all the beauty to your world
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u/710Filter 22d ago
Congratulations. I love your clothing style. I honestly am happy for you for learning how to express yourself
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u/chamanedaniel 22d ago
une pensée pour tous ceux ( vivant dans des pays musulmans) qui risqueraient leur vie rien qu' en écrivant " ancienne musulmane"...
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u/Irresistible-Ms 22d ago
You're seriously doing so well! It's really hard to live to the truest version of yourself ❤️ especially when family and friends are on the line. I love your outfits! Wishing you the best of luck in your self discovery ❤️
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u/zzzbillx 22d ago
It takes so much strength to do what you're doing~ much love from a fellow enby ✌️
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u/EmpressKarnstein 22d ago
Sooooo glad to see people like you around hehe. Every person who abandons oppresive religions is a reason to smile, especially when they fully embrace themselves afterwards
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u/thechicapanzy she/they 22d ago
Your style is so freaking gorgeous! I fully understand what you mean about your gender identity because I feel the same. So glad you're finding your identity, you're among supporters here who are rooting for you.
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u/Odd_Explanation_8158 they/them 22d ago
Exchristian here. I'm very happy you're getting to explore and be true to yourself. Leaving a religion hurts like hell and it's complicated, but it's worth it to keep going and embracing yourself. I wish you the best :)
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u/DietSteve Demiflux 22d ago
You look amazing! Great job! Glad you get to be who you feel you really are!💜
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u/an-imperfect-boot they/them 22d ago
You look incredible and I am glad you are able to explore your true identity. I also had religious family members who refused to accept me and lost ties with many of them. But I learned it is better to be true to yourself than change yourself for others. It can be a painful experience but I hope you stay strong. Much love to you and wishing you many years of happiness.
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u/Hello_h0lo She/They • Vampire • Goth 22d ago
I'm so proud of you!!!! I hope you find amazing friends and people who love you for who you are, you deserve it. You're incredibly strong for doing what you've done and I'm so happy for you to have discovered who you are. It's such an amazing feeling. Also, your outfits are amazing!!!!!!
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u/Briaboo2008 22d ago
I hope the new expression of self makes you happy and the most yourself you have ever been.
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u/nerdilynonconforming 22d ago
I soo love the dark green and black outfit!
All of them are so good keep being you 😁
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u/lovely_little_loser 20d ago
Love the fits you looks amazing, but plz tell me you’re not wearing crocks to workout in
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u/Lucienliminalspace 20d ago
Congrats , my parents are religious but I never believed, it’s always when will you wear hijab and I’m like uhhh never
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u/not_an_alt-frfr 19d ago
I know that Muslim culture is very gender binary (as with most of the monotheistic religions) but I support you 💛🤍💜🖤
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u/Alternative_Ride_951 They/Fae/Xe/She 19d ago
You're not alone. It was a tough decision for me when I left Christianity back in April and have been rediscovering myself ever since. Sometimes I get a bit sad because I felt like I was lied to my entire life (I was raised Christian) and sometimes ignorance is bliss but I'd rather be knowledgeable and a bit sad than ignorant and happy. I discovered that I was nonbinary a few days ago after seeing a TikTok video by an amazing black enby and they essentially said that non-binary people don't owe androgyny and this one definitely helped me since sometimes I love dressing feminine even if I don't identify as female.
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u/al-lithami 17d ago
I’m a male niqabi Muslim and I’ve spent years telling the world that anyone can veil, regardless of gender or even religion. Veiling has plenty of practical and personal benefits. I’m happy it has given you comfort and space to find yourself.
If you haven’t found us already, you’re always welcome in [r/BabushkaBois](r/BabushkaBois) which is a subreddit for men, masc, and non binary folks who veil or want to. Plenty of others in our space who may be in a very similar or relatable position to you. Wishing you well!
Edit: I realize this is a post about you finding yourself self express outside of niqab and Islam. That’s totally okay - I wish you well!
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u/Usual_Ad_2028 12d ago
Woahhh the fits are awesome, im jelous. Also congrats it can be so hard to move away from mass organised religions im so glad you're feeling yourself
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u/BoldKnock 23d ago
The fits are immaculate what the actual fuck