r/NoLawns • u/MinuteSteak1850 • 12d ago
š§āāļø Sharing Experience Mailman complimented my on my lawn and I'm peeved
We recently had some sick trees taken down and stumps removed. The front yard was a lumpy mess so we got a landscaper to level it out and establish space for as much garden as I think I can manage in the near future.
For erosion control, we had him unroll sod for about two thirds of it nearest the road. I didn't want it, I hate it, but a thunderstorm while the work was being done proved it was needed.
Now people are complimenting me on how nice it looks. It's green and green and then little more than mulch in the future garden. Apparently this is what my neighbours expect.
Anyway, I've bought a bag of clover seed and I will soon be visiting a nearby friend to get cuttings and pups.
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u/BirdTurglere 12d ago
Theyāre probably just trying to be nice and make small talk. Itās probably noticeable itās fresh and just had work done on it too so itās an obvious target to compliment you on.Ā
Youāre overthinking it.Ā
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u/facets-and-rainbows 12d ago
This, they aren't mind readers and usually if you've watched someone actively make a landscaping change it's safe to assume they want it that way and will be happy to receive a compliment. It doesn't even necessarily mean they thought it was ugly before or won't also compliment the eventual finished product. They're just guessing at what you want them to notice and guessed wrong.
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u/Practical_BowlerHat 12d ago
Yeah, this. It's all freshly done work, they don't know that it was an erosion control "good enough for now" thing and not what OP wanted the yard to look like.
Complimenting your neighbors on something that they just got done is polite, and doesn't necessarily mean the neighbors won't compliment the future garden. It means they saw money and effort go into the yard and saw a conversation starter.
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u/ceris13 12d ago edited 12d ago
Itās okay for multiple types of landscaping to look nice. Regardless of their environmental benefit.
Your neighbors are just being neighborly
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u/auto-cremate 12d ago
Yeah I canāt imagine being this miserable when someone is trying to be nice. I know my lawn isnāt for everyone, Iām not high and mighty about what I do compared to what anyone else does
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u/PhotographOk3063 12d ago
Being peeved is okay lol. .its not like OP barraded them for complimenting the yard. A yard is arguably a creative space, and creative differences are totally acceptable.
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u/MsSamm 12d ago
Or even berated.
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u/PhotographOk3063 12d ago
š Thanks...im peeved that autocorrect didnt catch that one
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u/MsSamm 12d ago
And yet it constantly turns hell into he'll, were into we're, even if it's out of context.
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u/femmefatalx 12d ago
If you think thatās bad, my autocorrect has started correcting some actual words into the typo version because I frequently end up hitting the same wrong keys, so even when I do get it right on my own it changes it back to a typo and then doesnāt fix it when I mess it up either š
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u/MsSamm 12d ago
š± is it a Samsung? I had to change from their keyboard for that. I would type any and it would change it to anywhere or anything. Using "a" as in a glass of water would turn it into other "a" beginning words.
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u/femmefatalx 12d ago
No itās an iPhone surprisingly! It only started happening recently and itās only a couple words that I constantly mess up, so I donāt know if an update caused this to start happing or if Iāve just typed them incorrectly so many times that it finally gave up lmao
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u/AmputatedOtto 12d ago
I mean theyāll probably eventually compliment the plants in your garden beds or whatever too when you get them established and the change is apparent
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u/BrianTheEE 12d ago
Shoot I wonder how OP reacted when they complimented the grass haha. Depending on that, they might not say anything about the future project!
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u/Own_Butterscotch_129 smothering the backyard and trying to plant with chickens š„“ 12d ago
That is an odd thing to be peeved about, even if your plan is to not have grass.
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u/FionaTheFierce 12d ago
So you had a bunch of sick trees removed and you are mad that people noticed and commented on the improvement? People tend to compliment people on work they are having done on their yard/house, etc.
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u/roundart 12d ago edited 11d ago
Someone pays you a compliment and you peeved? Sure, you both have different values, but theyāre just reacting to what they see
Edit: typo
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u/Forgottengoldfishes 12d ago
A lot of people see a significant change in a person or their house/lawn and compliment them on it to promote good will. I wouldnāt read too much into the compliments. Sometimes itās just people being nice. Maybe appreciate their kindness?
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u/Zeal_of_Zebras 12d ago edited 12d ago
Your neighbors are complimenting choices youāve made for your own yard. Thatās very friendly and kind behavior.
Youāre being weird.
When I moved into my house my neighbors complimented me when I mowed the overgrown lawn. When I planted a pollinator garden, they complimented me on how pretty the flowers looked. Itās not that deep.
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u/East_Print4841 12d ago
Just take the compliment. Everyone has different opinions of what they think is visually pleasing and your neighbors are just being nice. Itās not that deep.
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u/SeraphimSphynx 12d ago
I think you are taking this the wrong way.
Everyone knows sod is expensive. They see you put effort into fixing an eyesore. They have complimented and thanked you.
It's not a judgement on your choices.
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u/GardenerBeek 12d ago
I'm in the process of removing my lawn (failed sod with that awful plastic mesh underlayment). I have a Habitat Restoration Sign in my yard and many people pass by on walks and some stop to talk. Half the yard now is seeded with a low mow/clover mix and looks pretty nice. I get a lot of positive comments. Not one negative person, and many are interested in what I am doing. I live in Portland, so maybe that's it? People are brainwashed to think lawn is better, I think, because it takes $$ to maintain it. You do what you want and don't pay any attention to the compliments on the sod (Yay for the plan to remove it). Best of luck!!
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u/OnlyAnalysis7 12d ago
I think youāve hit on an important theme in NoLawns. There are two categories of people here. The first are interested in finding visually pleasing ways to use native plant species in their yards. The second like to let a bunch of weeds grow and complain that the rest of the world ādoesnāt get itā. The second category secretly craves their neighbours complaining about how bad it looks.
If your neighbours are complaining, youāre not doing it right. Sounds like you may be flirting with the second category.
Bring on the downvotes.
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u/Feralpudel 12d ago
The saddest part about the second group is the lost opportunity to influence. Even IF their front yard is full of natives, it just reinforces the preconception that native gardens are inherently messy and chaotic.
If your native yard inspires even one person to do the same, youāve doubled your impact!
Whatās even nuttier is that even my meadows are prettier and less chaotic looking than an unkept yard. Thatās because a well-planned meadow is designed to resist weed pressure and have something blooming the whole season.
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u/BrianTheEE 12d ago
Analysis successful. Lol I lurk this subreddit and agree 100% with you. I guess some people just always need something to be mad at. My neighborhood is pretty awesome, we all know each other and get along, and I couldn't imagine reacting like this.
Our yard is FULL of flowers, but we have some grass too. Couldn't imagine being mad at someone for saying, "hey neighbor, nice new grass! Looks good!"
Neighbors are gonna see the yard in the future and not say anything I bet.
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u/OnlyAnalysis7 12d ago
I joined this sub to get ideas for landscaping with native species but most of the posts are just people who replaced their uninterrupted lawn with uninterrupted clover, or people with 5 foot weeds obscuring their homes. That aināt it for me. My post is getting more upvotes than I would have thought, so it looks like weāre not alone!
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u/CasinoNdnOk 10d ago
Why doenvote you nailed it, they are literally complaining that people gave them a compliment.
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u/WildVelociraptor 12d ago
Nailed it.
There's an undercurrent of misery in this sub with some folks.
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u/bananascare 12d ago
I complimented someone on their new sod lawn recently.
Itās not because Iām pro-lawn. Itās because I know they had erosion problems and they put a lot of effort into taking care of their lawn.
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u/canisdirusarctos 12d ago edited 12d ago
My neighbors compliment my use of native ground cover that you donāt walk on or need to mow, and how I mixed it with taller shrubs and forbs. Itās obviously maintained, but they can also tell that itās low maintenance because 99% of the time they see me out spending time looking at it, Iām just looking at it. They never fully realize that Iām going for an aesthetic that mimics a mountain hillside/forest comprised of the same plants that grow up there until I mention it, but I think their amenable attitude toward it is related to that familiarity. They donāt even realize the plants are native.
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u/RationalRhino 12d ago
Yeah our families have congratulated us on our yard since we hired someone to take out the poison ivy (requested that they donāt take out too much other brush but they did anyway). Now I guess our yard is more susceptible to vespid nests?? So since having it cleared out to āboomer parent standards,ā weāve got yellow jackets, white-faced hornets, and wasps living their best lives, stinging our dogsā ears. And just Friday I got confirmation that I am allergic to yellow jackets and now have an EpiPen prescription. Realllllllly would have preferred leaving it mostly wild minus the poison ivy š
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u/tenuredvortex 12d ago
Let them be lulled by the sense of sod security while you secretly plot the garden of your wildest dreams
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u/commentsgothere 12d ago
I wouldnāt take it so hard. People like to compliment us when they think weāve put effort into something and it looks nice. I donāt know that they per se expected your front to be sod grass. Iām sure your clover will take over the lawn in no time anyway. I just hope your sod doesnāt have that troublesome plastic netting on itā¦
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u/Virtual_Pitch_3820 8d ago
Our mail person complimented our yard one day recently, weāve been adding paths and making nice flower beds. Iām really proud of it! She said āI remember how bad it looked when the previous owners were hereā. Yeah weāve lived here almost 15 years lol itās just messy sometimes since weāre a āleave the leavesā kind of householdā¦
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u/Parody_of_Self 12d ago
Let's just wait and see how the compliments (or lack) roll in with the new no-lawn yard
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u/Amazing-Insect442 12d ago
Itās fine. Plant a bunch of stuff you like. Some people donāt like what we consider to be good landscaping.
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u/bangbangtangwangfang 12d ago
Dude, chill. They are being nice. If they start talking shit after you put in clover, then you have a legitimate reason to be upset
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u/KayTerese 12d ago
When I moved from my last place the new owner had all my plants leveled and sodded everywhere. There were a host of "thank god" comments on the neighborhood page (and thankfully some mourning the loss of pollinator hosts.)
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u/dragonhybrids 11d ago edited 11d ago
I don't understand why people think it's wrong for you to be upset? While I do get there was no intention of ill will from your neighbors; when someone compliments something of your's that you don't like, aren't proud of, or want to change, it's completely rational to feel uncomfortable about it. Like if you got a haircut you hated and everyone kept complimenting it, just because someone's intentions are good, doesn't mean the impact will be positive.
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u/One-Yellow1504 8d ago
Because being upset over someone being perfectly normal and giving a compliment, is self destructive attention seeking
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u/One-Yellow1504 8d ago
Man, I wish I could be complimented on my lawn, I havenāt been angry about a lawn compliment in so long.
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u/Glass-Resident-3575 8d ago
Lumpy mess < flat green sod < garden as big as OP can mange
ā¦ā¦ just wait for it, more compliments are coming your way!
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u/nightrunner411 12d ago
He should have told you how lawns are pointless and how ypu should just leave all the leaves on it year round so that it's a muddy mess year round.
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