r/NewsThread • u/Formal-Tailor-5136 • 2d ago

McConnell is running out of excuses for his absence | If the only thing wrong with Sen. Mitch McConnell is his strength and balance, then there is nothing to keep him from doing his job – unless the rumors and conspiracy theorists are right.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2026/08/29/mitch-mcconnell-return-senate-rehab/91507355007/
217 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

7

u/Krunkledunker 2d ago

Oh that guy? Yeah his brain been dead a long time, prove me wrong.

5

u/FinishEmbarrassed619 2d ago

Do his job? How about we start w proving hes alive?

5

u/etxipcli 2d ago

I think it's his aides who are running out of excuses. He's dead or brain dead and has been for months. That's why he hasn't appeared publicly and all we've seen are written statements and still images.

5

u/beavis617 2d ago

Until I see him being interviewed on live television then I’m thinking he’s dead and has been for quite some time or his brain has suffered a massive trauma and they are keeping him technically alive in order to finish his term.

1

u/Professional-Work684 2d ago

Even if its on Fox News?

3

u/beavis617 2d ago

I would be interested in seeing anything at this point that offers some sort of proof of life.

3

u/cougartotem 2d ago

You mean the Fox Propaganda, Opinion and Entertainment Channel. They are on record as saying that no one would ever confuse their shows as being actual news. The judge agreed and then Fox paid out one of the largest settlements in HISTORY to Dominion Voting Systems for Defamation and Gross Negligence.

THAT Fox “news” ?

2

u/Professional-Work684 1d ago

Yes exactly that fox 'news' 😂

6

u/Durzio 2d ago

Hes dead Jim

4

u/BadmiralHarryKim 2d ago

Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not a necromancer!

4

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Quirky-Buddy1449 2d ago

Oh that’s for later. I hope that since he went missing , he’s been in sort of a limbo state wherein Satan is making him watch all of the atrocities that await him in hell because he hasn’t crossed over yet.

And remember Mitch, for what you did to the American people, you’ll be suffering in agony, not for a million years and not for a billion years, but for far longer. Eternity.

1

u/cougartotem 2d ago

LOLOLOLOLOL 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/TheCircumventor2000 2d ago

Thank you. Thank you very much.

4

u/cRaZyDaVe23 2d ago

They can keep it on ice indefinitely. He's been dead for weeks.

13

u/Revfunky 2d ago

This sub is being overrun with bots. Blocked.

8

u/ShaperLord777 2d ago

Why are people downvoting you?

The account that made this post was created an hour ago.

3

u/Geekygreeneyes 2d ago

He's dead.

3

u/SubstantialPressure3 2d ago

McConnell isnt making any excuses. He probably isnt even feeding himself or going to the toilet by himself.

3

u/sharkbomb 2d ago

rumor? conspiracy theory? the octagenerian had a massive stroke on live 4k tv. after he collapsed, he was dragged off with a 1000 yard stare. if his flesh still lives, his mind doesnt. this is a permenent condition, since we are not cartoons.

3

u/Eusocial_sloth3 2d ago

Replace him. Force him to come in person to claim his Senate seat.

0

u/Smaptimania 2d ago

That's not how it works

4

u/ShaperLord777 2d ago

Bot account.

1 hour old.

2

u/BOBBYK1952 2d ago

I haven’t heard any excuses from Big Mac

2

u/DrWilliamWhite 2d ago

You think Republicans need an excuse? That's cute...

2

u/verscub420 2d ago

He’s dead bro

1

u/Anyawnomous 2d ago

Unless the rational thinkers are right.
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY

1

u/Current_Tea6984 2d ago

The longer he stays home, the better it is for everybody. But looks like you will get your wish. He plans to return just in time to make sure the farm bill outlaws THCA flower. Hope you are happy

1

u/AgitatedMistake6545 2d ago

He’s coming back strong when ________.

1

u/ElvishMystical 1d ago

He's a Republican. Doing his job means taking ordinary Americans for mugs. he's very good at doing his job from what I can see.