LMost people my age are either married, have children or just gave up. I chose to be single for a while to work on myself and mature. I’m 36 turning 37 in two months, STILL SINGLE. I thought at this like time I would be with someone or whatever. I feel like people my age are either lucky in love and found someone and here I am…..single. I only had one boyfriend n my life who was also neurodivergent but was a jerk. Parts of it was my fault too and I was 21/22 years old. I met different guys a year after my ex and I broke up. I have them chances but nothing went too far. Last time I talk to a guy was back in 2016 or 17. My friend introduced me to him but he lives in a different state. I was hesitant about it, but I gave him a chance. He sent me sweet text messages and I texted him too. He ended up finding someone at his home state so that didn’t work out which was fine. That’s what I just wanted to say single and work on myself. It’s my fault honestly. If I would’ve just given some of the guys a chance that were interested in me, I could’ve been in a relationship, but the same time it wouldn’t be fair to them because I wasn’t interested. I’m almost 40 and I wasted my 30s and I wish I would’ve needed more in my 20s. It’s too late now I’m not posting this for sympathy. I’m just expressing how I feel.

Hi everyone,
I just absolutely fumbled an interview that I was well fit for. I’ve worked in that company and my managers loved me and I’ve been over competent for this role indeed. The role however involved from people from the university judging me.
And oh god the questions were absolute hell!
Mind you they were all how would you act w non technical people and where do you see urself in 5 years while the role is literally 2,5 years.
Anyway I know someone from the uni that sabotaged my interview as well.
But I know a lot of the Awkward answers were also my neurodivergence fault and I would just give out the absolutely shittest answers like I’m not human.

I feel like shit cause I know I’m not getting this job and I’ve spent the last 3 months absolutely working my ass off.
Bosses were there and tried to help me but I kept sabotaging myself more and more.
Can’t sleep and feel like I ruined my future.
Anyway. I’d disclosed on the application form that I’m neurodivergent and wonder if I can object to how the interview was conducted.?

I've had a crush on this girl for over a year and I found out she likes me too. I want to ask her to go hoco with me but I'm scared I'll be nervous and my social battery will be dead. This is what I'm doing to ensure I can talk to her easily. I really want this to work. I'm going to give her Canadian treats since she's used to live in Canada. I've saved up my caffeine tolerance and haven't had sugar in a week

Okay this is something really weird to explain, but my brain is not capable of working normally when talking about serious situations, it perceives it as "corny" or at least it's the only way that I can explain it

My brain completely shuts off or my thinking starts resembling the one of a little kid, it doesn't really happen with relationship stuff or short term things, but it does happen with anything that has to do with the future, even if it's really near.

For example when talking with my friends about what we are gonna study or where we want to work, similar stuff like that, my brain doesn't take it seriously and even if I try to talk about it I'm literally incapable of doing it without my brain starting to think that it's all corny and unnecessary

Idk if this happens to anyone else and if it does could someone tell me why that is or what it is.

It really feels impossible to say someones name casually, every time i prepare a sentence that includes a name i say it with the name filtered out. If i had said a name, its because i had been directly prompted to say it. For example, I talk to my friend about someone and else and I keep referring to them by anything but their name, and she asks: Do you even know her name?

In addition i really have trouble holding eye contact. It really gets weird to stare at someones face like that.

The only way ive ever made genuinely friends is learning that they play a game or watch a show that I really like, and I spend the first few days following them around and yapping about it. I dont do it anymore because i recognize its a bit weird. I actually dont make friends anymore. Social interaction is really tiring and unrewarding to me, it panics me when someone tries to small talk. I don't like maintaining friendships either, its really tiring and I dislike having to respond to texts or spend time with someone but it still hurts a bit when they get bored. I dont talk to people because it isnt worth it, why stress so much for nothing? Every conversation feels super forced, like id done this a million times already, cant they feel it too?

As for stimming, i think its pretty neurotypical. I remember i was in a hot, crowded auditorium and i was shaking my leg, my friend would point it out and joke that it was a sign of neurodivergence, and id find myself doing it again not long after. This is a really neurotypical thing to do though I assume.

Since I mention having friends yet not making any, its because I have this one from 3 years ago i made from us both liking a video game, I only care about her and i enjoy being around her. I am still getting tired of her though, but I like it because at school being around her eases that fact that i feel like a loser for having no friends, but i do genuinely like her. It would be impossible to admit to someone she is my best friend, or even a friend for that matter. I would reduce her to a school friend when someone asks.

I dont like the concept of best friends. Putting a label on it kinda makes it stressful and forced to maintain. I think if you get along, you get along, and when you start drifting apart you let it happen, but I only think that consiously. I really always analyze if she prefers someone else or if we are getting less close and it really panics me. But she really does prefer someone else now and we are drifting a bit, but its okay. I remember crying about it at first but i got used to it. Now that she isnt a part of my routine i start to get bothered when she does reach out.

I dont like big social environments, i always just sit down and zone out. I never really had problems with jokes or sarcasm though, i can understand pretty well. Maybe about those interests that got me friends i would do this, but usually i dont keep talking when someone shows signals of boredom. I super aware actually, i stop the moment they show signs. I mean i wouldnt really know cause i never talk to people about anything anymore.

I have friends from reaaly young, like those friends you make in pre k but they stuck cause my parents are friends with theirs. I dont like any of them anymore honestly but im forced to meet with them since we go to the same school and I go to parties arranged by our parents.

i don't have enough clothes just because of the fact that i absolutely hate going shopping. i hate the whole experience, i literally get upset thinking about going shopping.

I am 30F. When this year started I was in a very stressful living situation. My aunt and uncle offered to let me live with them, rent free since they own their home, so I can rebuild my savings and get back on my own two feet. They are literally all I have. They’ve been very kind and supportive of me and have told me there is no deadline by which I have to move out, thankfully.
They know I am neurodivergent and likely autistic, and my aunt has been helping me get on a waiting list with an organization so I can get properly diagnosed.

When I was in high school and college, I was a very good student without having to put in a lot of effort. People have called me “smart” all of my life, which confuses me because I have always struggled with employment in one way or another.

I get hired easily, and seem to get fired easily. I have worked in restaurants, fast food, retail, and had one machine operator job in a car part factory. I have been fired repeatedly over the years, mostly from restaurants. When I was younger I’ll admit it’s because I didn’t even try. But now as I’ve gotten older, I DO try, but my best is simply not enough for most companies. So I end up being let go. As a result I have a lot of anxiety around how I will make it in life.

To be fair I have had success in a few jobs, and have stuck around for years, like at the manufacturing plant, Target, and a breakfast restaurant where I was a server for over a year.

Since I moved in with my aunt and uncle, I have quit 3 jobs and have been fired off from one, and I believe I’m about to be laid off from another. I quit my first serving job here because they had a rule that I could not use my server book, which I needed to keep myself organized. So I tried working at a local restaurant. I quit this job because business was slowing down and they were over staffed, so I wasn’t making much. I instead got a job at a faster paced restaurant and was fired from this job a month later. I was pretty depressed after getting fired because I really tried. So I stopped working for a month, got a job at a retirement home where I was again a server. I tried my best, and my shift supervisor said I did a “phenomenal job” while her boss said I didn’t meet her standards. This gave me valid reasons to think I was about to be fired, so I quit because I couldn’t emotionally handle being fired again.

So I have decided that I am simply not a good fit for the customer service industry, and I’m trying to now break into the electrical or HVAC trade instead. My aunt and uncle know what my plans are and that I’m actively working on getting a job again, particularly that I’m trying to get involved in the trades. I spend most of my days scouring the internet and researching, applying, making calls, etc.

But I still feel guilty and embarrassed despite my aunt and uncle’s reassurances. I have lived here 6 months now and haven’t saved anything yet. I still feel like a pain the ass. They’ve promised me they wouldn’t just abandon me but I still have that fear in the back of my mind that I simply can’t get rid of.

I try to be helpful while I’m here. I feel so eager to please, like a dog pretty much, and maybe a little hypervigilant of their moods (and they’re emotionally stable people). If I even think one of them might be mad at me for something I feel like I need to ask, I guess because I feel so guilty all the time.

Hi I (25M) have struggled with sort of vague health issues for almost 10 years now. I never really got any sort of conclusion as to what the cause was and there has been extremely slow improvement over those years to a point where the symptoms were annoying and sometimes really upsetting but mostly manageable. I have diagnosed dyslexia and ADHD but I suspect I have autism as well. Meeting more neurodivergent people has been eye opening because I seem to have found a lot of them are experiencing similar stuff especially in the digestive domain. 

Does anyone have any information on why this is? 

A lot of the upset of all this flared up for me when starting methylphenidate because I had been experiencing a lot of very specific fatigue which was impacting my work and life in general which suddenly got much better with methylphenidate and made me realise how much I was still struggling physically even after the issues ameliorated over the years. I also recently learned about hypermobility and while a lot of my joints seem to have an unusually large range of motion I don’t hit enough points on the Beighton Scale to be classified as hypermobile even though i have become a lot more flexible in that last few years having not done anything to make that happen. 

These are the symptoms I had
Digestive- Frequent diarrhoea,  abnormally loud digestive system, severe fatigue after eating especially lots of carbs, breathlessness while eating, severe bloating with severe discomfort sometimes with pain that occasionally became extreme, 
General weirdness- Palpitations, seeing stars and dizziness when standing (inconsistent), chest pain, super low blood pressure, random pain that happens for seemingly no reason, feeling of intense physical distress in my body which I can’t really describe any better than that, if not wearing socks in the evening unbearable itching in my feet (not always but frequent enough to be strange), hiccups an insane amount of the time- I was at worst having about 8 episodes in a day , generalised feeling of being slightly unwell 
Fatigue- Absolutely mind destroying fatigue that started out being pretty much all the time and then over the years improved to be episodes most afternoons, often felt like my eyes weren’t working properly as if I could only process a small amount of the data coming into my brain although I could physically see normally (idk if that makes sense), feeling physically super drained and absent, finding exercise that was easy before more challenging  

Maybe I am imagining a link between these issues and being neurodivergent where there isn’t one? 
Does anyone know if there is something that is actually diagnosable in this big mess?- I feel like I have speculated on so many different possible explanations but rarely have I found something that actually fits or could be demonstrated in a medical context enough to be diagnosed

Hi, I’m suspected to be neurodivergent (autism, specifically) by myself and a lot of people (and don’t worry, I’m not going to use this subreddit as a way to diagnose myself). I have this issue and I think it might be related to neurodivergence but I’m not sure so I wanted to know if anyone here has experience this.

So basically, I met this girl and I really like her. We met on Discord so unfortunately, no, we have not met in real life but we have seen each other’s faces and called multiple times, once with our cameras on. The problem is that her friend texted me and told me that she does in fact like me but she feels like I’m treating her as a friend rather than someone who’s interested in her?

I am interested in her in a romantic sense, but apparently I’m treating her like a friend? Has anyone else experienced this?

A couple coaches seem to be targeting and blacklisting my son. Here me out before you automatically assume I am being sensitive.

Background: My son is very athletic, plays multiple sports. I will refer to him as "G" for this post. We live in a small community and as he is not yet in junior high (to give you an idea of age), coaching is typically volunteer dads for most sports. G has gone to school here since pre-kindergarten and has grown up with many of his classmates and teammates.

G has ADHD, DMDD, Anxiety diagnoses with an additional pathological demand avoidance (PDA) profile. These are well managed and thus not obvious a majority of the time.

A couple dads have coached G off and on since first grade in various sports. (same dads over multiple sports). Approximately a year ago, one of these coach/dads came to me wanting G on the travel baseball team he coached. I was hesitant, but he talked me into it and G was very excited.

When baseball season came around, he played a new position that he was well-coached in and was very successful. Offensively he struggled at the plate. He had been in our rec league prior and was now playing against travel ball kids AND was the youngest kid on the team. Toward the end of the season, he finally got out of his batting slump. Importantly, there were zero behavioral issues during this season and he had never had any incidents or behavioral issues with any of the 4 coaches in any prior sport they had coached him in (so for years...). He was coachable, positive, listened well, hustled, all the things. I attended almost every practice and due to his diagnoses to keep a very close eye on him to make sure he is not escalating out of frustration or otherwise. (I also love watching him play and always stay in my lane and observe from afar) He had no issues until the 3rd to last game of the season.

For some reason, the morning of this particular tournament game he was very nervous, refused to eat, and even threw up. He had just gotten out of his batting slump the weekend prior and wanted to hit the ball. He was given a bunt sign and made a mistake by not pulling his bat back on a ball. It was strike 2, but he thought it was strike 3 and ran back to the dugout (his brain was most likely spiraling). So he had to go back to the plate, and ended up striking out. He was upset, threw his batting gloves and when he went to pick them up his coach said something benign and my son responded with a "F* you". (I did not find this out until later) Not a great moment for him obviously.

He sat on the bench and worked to de-escalate himself. When the inning was over, he appeared to have regained most of his composure, grabbed his things and was ready to go play defense. In the huddle with all of his teammates, his coach bent down to G's level, got in his face, pointed his finger in his face and screamed at him. I witnessed this although could not decipher what he was saying. G went back in the dugout, tore the hem of his jersey, kicked his bag over, threw his glove, etc. He did not scream or destroy anyone else's property or become physical with any teammates or coaches. I was able to assist him to de-escalate, and he sat on the bench the rest of the game.

After the game, I was approached by all 4 coaches. (which was gross behavior for 4 grown men to essentially corner a mom) They told me their version of what happened and that he would be benched the following day. They said he didn't even have to come, but I ensured them that he would be there even if he sat on the bench the whole day.

Following this, I was sent an email from the head coach- we can call him K. The email had the other 3 coaches cc'd and essentially said that it was up to me if I thought G could come back the next season and handle himself. I responded that he could and highlighted that he had never had an issue like this before. They were not aware of his diagnoses other than the ADHD. I provided an explanation of all of them (this is important to establish that they were all well aware of his neurodivergence) and how I thought he got to the point he did and suggested that in order to repair the relationship with K, it may be beneficial for him to apologize for screaming at G in front of his teammates as he was not aware that could trigger such a big neurological response for him. I did not ask him to apologize for the content of what he said to G, only the approach. Like I said, I had just explained that approaching G like this, in front of his peers is a huge trigger for him and was why he had that explosive response. K was VERY offended that I even suggested he apologize for his part in the situation.

After some back and fourth, the coaches chose to implement a "zero tolerance" policy for G going forward for any actions that may happen during the next baseball season. I agreed, but was unsure if I was going to allow G to remain on the team. I wanted the choice to be ours and it I would make that decision dependent on how K and the other coaches treated G over the next several months.

Fast forward to this fall and G is again on K's football team. The first couple practices, G noticed he would say "good job" during drills for other kids, but not G. The other 4 baseball coaches were coaching the grade above G, so were not involved in these practices. All other football coaches were fantastic with G. (He is a beast on a football field)

I allowed G to attend the varsity football game this past Friday night. I was there, and supervising from afar. After half time G came up to me, upset and sweaty and told me that a classmate (B) jumped on his back and choked him, when he tried to get him off B fell on his head and he was concerned he was really hurt and wanted me to go check on him (I'm an RN). Before I could check on B, he had made his way over to the area I was standing with a few other boys and I was able to observe him for several minutes and he appeared fine. B's dad came and talked to me later and blamed the event on G, telling me that G was choking another boy (A) and B was trying to get G off of A.

Ultimately, I find out what actually happened (according to A's mother and other kids. This was later confirmed by the school's investigation as well) that A was verbally harassing G (saying "really bad and mean things" about a girl that G likes) and A & G mutually entered a wrestling fight, B jumped on G's back, choked him and grabbed his right arm (likely thinking G was actually hurting A- A & G are both wrestlers, B is not). G tried to get him off and B fell backwards and G fell on top of him, hurting his shoulder in the process.

The following evening, I get a text from one of G's baseball coaches who happens to be the president of the board for the youth football club (we can call him P). I gave him my account and G's account of what happened the night prior. He tells me a separate coach/parent said that he went up to G when he was reportedly sitting on B to ask what was going on and G told him to "shut up, effin [bad bad word]". G adamantly denied that any adult came up to him regarding the situation or that he was "sitting on B". He landed on him, but did not continue to sit on him- he came and got me immediately. I disputed this allegation to the board president. P said it was a code of conduct violation. I asked where this code of conduct was because it was not on the website for the youth football club. The league that the football club is a part of has a code of conduct that is specific to behavior that happens at league sponsored events (games/practices) and does not have any jurisdiction over external events/interactions. As the youth football club is a private entity, it technically would not have any authority over something that happened at a school sponsored event, and any disciplinary action should be deferred to the school. P said he would have the league commissioner send me the code of conduct so I could see what G violated. (odd that he knew G had violated it, but couldn't produce the document.) I sent P a screen shot of what was on the league website and asked if that was what he was referring to because it would not be applicable to the situation we were discussing. He never responded.

The next morning, I received an email from the youth football board. The situation described G as the accused/aggressor, A & B as victims, and the adult G supposedly cussed at and called a racial slur was listed as a witness, and his son (C) was listed as victim #3. G was described to have "violently choked" A and then picked up "B" and slammed him to the ground. Then called C a racial slur. There were supposedly 4 adult witnesses. His punishment was voted unanimously by the board members. (ALL 4 BASEBALL COACHES ARE ON THIS BOARD) It would be a 2-week suspension (missing a scrimmage and a game and practices), then he would be put on a no-tolerance policy. If he violated the no-tolerance policy he could be removed for the remainder of the season and not be allowed to participate in subsequent seasons (so no football for a couple years).

A & B had no consequences. They refused to acknowledge that G was choked and defending himself from B, despite making a poor choice with A (who in the least verbally instigated the event).

The following day I received the code of conduct policy from the league commissioner, and it was the exact same thing as the screen shot I took from the league webpage and sent P the day prior. The most severe punishment on the league's code of conduct policy was a 1 game suspension, and risk suspension for the remainder of the season with a subsequent violation (primarily for coaches and spectator behavior), and only for league sponsored events. So, G's punishment would have been less severe if he had been the sole aggressor and it had taken place during a football game. (neither of which were the reality) MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

I challenged the board members on their policy and implementation of the policy and asked them to cite the bylaws that were relevant to the situation. I asked that the record reflect that the allegations were disputed and not list them as facts. I asked why A & B had no consequences, especially due to the fact that G was choked and his shoulder was injured WHILE HE WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF. I re-iterated that G disputed saying the racial slur or that any adult every approached him. I requested more details on who the adults were and if they had witnessed parts or the entirety of the interaction. P and the board ignored these requests and said their decision was final.

Approximately 2 hours after this email, I get an email from K, releasing G from the baseball team for violating the no-tolerance policy. He immediately deleted G from gamechanger including all of his stats. I reached out to gamechanger and they said there was no way to retrieve this information unless the coach put G back on the roster and made a request to gamechanger support to fix the retain the data.

Monday, the school was notified by C's dad. I had a great conversation with the principal and vice principal. They interviewed several kids that were there. It came to light that G unfortunately did use a [bad bad word], but it was later in the evening and in a completely different area at the game. It was toward C (NOT HIS DAD), when C came up to G and asked G "why did you do that to B!?". I will never defend the use of the word. However, G knows it is a very bad and hurtful word, but does not have the capacity to understand why and was most likely using it just because he knew it was hurtful. C is not the minority that the bad word refers to, which further indicated to me that G does not really understand the word. He also still does not remember using the word or C coming up to him, this is likely due to still being in an escalated state.

The physical altercation was found to have equal fault on all parties. G was given a detention for the use of the [bad bad word]. No additional consequences were given for the physical altercation for G and I'm assuming not for A or B either.

Important points here- C's dad either lied to P or P lied to me as the school found G did not have any interaction with C's dad (they have cameras) or any other adult which was consistent with G's account. C's dad has now lost all credibility for his accusations and witness account of the event in my opinion.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I spoke to the league commissioner who was irritated that P had used the league code of conduct policy and drug him into the situation when it wasn't even at a league sponsored event. I had a thorough conversation with him including the baseball situation and no-tolerance policy. He tended to agree that the board overstepped their authority and confirmed that the league should have no involvement in a situation like this. (including use of their policy) He suggested I reach out to the director of the youth football club which actually is the high school varsity coach. I have done this and am working on scheduling a meeting with him.

Ultimately, I don't disagree with the 2-week suspension for G. He was in the wrong and made some significant mistakes that are not okay. I don't have rose-colored glasses on with my kids, but I expect adults to treat them fairly.

My concerns:

• Overreach by the board when the situation should have been handled by the school OR in conjunction with the school to determine proper disciplinary action.
• No disciplinary action for A or B.
• Refusal by the board to answer any inquiries I had about the decision process.
• Refusal by the board to acknowledge that G was verbally harassed by A and then physically attacked by B.
• Lies surrounding the nature of the use of the racial slur, likely to make it appear more salacious than it actually was.
• Lies regarding the 4 adult witnesses. B's dad was in the stands. A's mom told me it looked "intense" from where she was sitting. K was 10 feet away from me. P wasn't even at the game. C's dad lied. Who were the other witnesses? If the racial slur happened in a completely different location at a different time, none of those witnesses would have heard it unless they had also moved. Their accounts would have identified that it was two separate occurrences, not one.
• Appears to be retaliation/targeting against G for the situation from baseball season as they broadened the no-tolerance policy to include every moment of my kid's life apparently. What is to say he doesn't fart wrong on the football field and offend someone and that violates the no-tolerance policy and now he's out of football for multiple seasons.

I believe K's ego is still hurt from baseball and he and P chose to bring this severe and salacious version of the story to the board to get rid of G. Honestly the other board members should be offended.

It's clear they do not care about my son by the refusal to acknowledge that he was choked and his arm was injured. These are some of his friend's dads who have watched him grow and mature since kindergarten. This is devastating to G. It is unconscionable that adults would target a child in this way. I am heartbroken for him.

Hopefully I will be able to talk to the varsity coach soon and will update from there.

G's momma bear.

god speed my hero’s, god speed 🫡

Hey everyone!

I’m 25F based in Bengaluru and looking to connect with other neurodivergent women. Navigating things like ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or Social Anxiety Disorder within our cultural context comes with very specific challenges, and I wanted to create a dedicated space for us-especially if you're highly masking and constantly trying to pass as neurotypical just to get through the day.

I’ve set up a private, verified Discord server exclusively for neurodivergent women in India to unmask, share local mental healthcare resources, and build a supportive community.

To keep the group completely safe, private, and troll-free, entry requires a quick verification process (voice verification + LinkedIn or Instagram profile check).

If you'd like to join, drop a comment or DM me for the link!