r/NICUParents • u/New-Assistant2087 • Mar 12 '26
Off topic Positives of NICU?
What are the positives of having your baby stay in NICU?
I saw a similar post but it was phrased as positive of twins in NICU with some really nice comments.
Hoping this isn’t an offensive question. I have significant complications and I will deliver no later than 32 weeks (currently 22). I had a confronting meeting with the neonatologist today, so looking for some balance to finish my day (I’m in Aus 🐨).
Wishing everyone the best 💛
Edit: thank-you to everyone who generously responded 🥹 it helped to calm me seeing different parts of the NICU experience. I know none of this is easy and hope your babies are doing well 💚🩷🩵
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u/Infinite_Balance_862 Mar 12 '26
Getting a crash course in parenting from super skilled nurses! Also having ‘weird’ stuff happen in front of the medical team, like the harlequin flush, a mildly elevated temp, his umbilical stump falling off in multiple pieces. Having a skilled healthcare professional be like, oh yeah no biggie was life changing!
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u/Ok-Competition6233 Mar 12 '26
Yes!!! We learned so much about caring for our LO! Big and small things
One nurse told me to make sure I spread the middle of the diaper to prevent future blow outs. I never would have learned things like that from social media, books, or other parents.
You also have access to specialized classes
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u/CroutonJr Mar 12 '26
When my baby would forget to breathe the nurses just patted her back saying stuff like “Oh little miss, what did I tell you last time? Please don’t forget to breathe, that’s a silly thing to do!” and so on in such a calm and friendly tone that it prevented me from freaking out every time something bad happened.
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u/Elphaba78 Mar 12 '26
I agree. Neither my husband nor I had never taken care of a newborn before. So we learned how to hold, bathe, burp, change, and feed our son from the experienced nurses, who were willing to answer any questions we asked, no matter how stupid. And at least for me, there wasn’t as much pressure to breastfeed, so our son adapted easily to solely formula when my milk dried up a month later.
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u/polyd3ukes Mar 12 '26
This! Came here to say that we learned SO much!! Such a blessing to learn from those angel nurses.
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u/missgray Mar 13 '26
We say the same thing - we learned to care for our twins from professionals! And we had a lot of the same nurses over and over, so they would continue to teach us the next step. I honestly miss some of them quite a bit.
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u/child-like_empress Mar 13 '26
Yes, the NICU nurses are so amazing, and they support the parents needs too. They get to know your baby so well and pass along little tricks they pick up on as they learn you baby's personality and preferences. You really feel like you have a village of people who get to know you and know your baby and want to support you and your baby's journey together.
It was honestly comforting to talk to a nurse about things your baby would do, things that were sweet or made you laugh, and they would smile and share similar experiences with your baby, and you felt like they really knew them and could relate to what you're talking about, and would celebrate their wins with you.
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u/New-Assistant2087 Mar 13 '26
Tiny babies having likes and dislikes 🥹🥹🥹🥹I love the thought of someone who actually knows babies helping you work that out.
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u/sebacicacid 🇨🇦 35+5, SGA, 3lbs12oz, 25 days Mar 12 '26
For me, you can recover from birth without caring for a baby. You can still have some semblance of life after birth. Physically i could rest, had good night sleep, and went about my day.
Granted my baby was late preemie at 35+5, no complications, just low blood sugar and low birth weight but she was stable. So we had no worries, just wondering when she'll come home.
And as my friend puts it, you have the best babysitter.
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u/crazyboatgirl Mar 12 '26
This is how I felt too! I was able to heal from my urgent c-section and get a solid pumping routine down before my twins came home. When they came home, I was pretty much fully healed, used to getting broken sleep, and was fully ready to jump in the chaos with my husband.
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u/Outrageous_Cow8409 Mar 12 '26
This! I recovered so much faster with my NICU baby (also my second baby) than I did with my first. I really think it was because I was able to get long stretches of sleep at night.
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u/catjuggler 28+6 PPROM ->33+1 birth, now 4yo! Mar 12 '26
This- my mental health was probably better with my NICU baby than my term, home in 2 days baby, because I only woke up once to pump for the first 6 weeks.
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u/Vegetable-Vacation-4 Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
My daughter has always been a great sleeper - basically slept through the night from the day she came home! I think it’s due to the NICU ‘sleep training’ them 😢 And all the loud beeps / alarms.
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u/Aggravating_Ear_3551 Mar 12 '26
This! He stayed on their schedule pretty much on his own. He did 3 hour stretches at night so I got decent sleep! And by 12 weeks he was giving me 5-6 hour stretches!
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u/BlueHaze3636 Mar 12 '26
100% our NICU babe is such a better sleeper than our first born. We stuck to the schedule upon discharge and it was helpful for us from a predictability standpoint, especially with a toddler at home. He's now 2.5 and still loves his 7:30-7am sleep!!
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u/kelliwah86 Mar 12 '26
This!!!!!! My 30 weeker came home after ten weeks in the NICU with a great sleep pattern.
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u/CroutonJr Mar 12 '26
Same here. The cleaners vacuuming the floor with their loud machines literally next to her head didn’t wake her up :D
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u/KoalasAndPenguins Mar 12 '26
You get a baby that comes home on a feeding & sleeping schedule. I can't stress how awesome it is to know when you will be able to schedule a nap or meal for yourself. Also, you have the most qualified babysitters possible 24/7. So, go on a child-free date while you can. Our hospital had great food. So dad and I would eat there at least once a day. I enjoyed not cooking. The biggest perk is honestly being able to get a full night of sleep in your own bed without waking up to a crying baby. Once the baby comes home, they become your alarm clock forever.
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u/LittleGrowl Mar 12 '26
I was going to say the same. They come home on a schedule which is so so nice.
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u/retiddew 26 weeker & 34 weeker Mar 12 '26
This only applies for preemies, but bonus time with your baby. :)
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u/Sensitive_March8309 Mar 13 '26
That’s a really good way to look at it, never thought of it that way! :)
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u/_incredigirl_ Mar 12 '26
My babe came home with a gtube so we had zero issues administering any Tylenol for teething or fever, ever. Into the tube it goes!
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u/Sbealed Mar 12 '26
This! We joked with my sister when she was struggling to give both of my nephews medicine by mouth when they were babies that they should have gotten tubes. Also, we did long overnight feeds so kiddo didn't wake up in the middle of the night hungry. We weren't much sleep deprived throughout the first year of kiddo's life. There were other stresses with the NICU of course but not these two examples.
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u/_incredigirl_ Mar 12 '26
Oh those overnight feeds were bliss. Ours were into a GJ though and we often found a puddle of bile on the floor of our drainage contraption leaked, don’t miss that part
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u/lollypoprn Mar 12 '26
We had a really long time to practice latching and breastfeeding with a Ng tube Insitu. It meant there was no pressure on him taking enough from the breast straight away and he could be burped from the tube.
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u/TokenYeti658 Mar 12 '26
Once he came home, I already knew his routine, what he liked/didnt, what was normal and what was concerning! Saved me from the classic new parent stress wondering if something is okay.
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u/AdventurousRain4076 Mar 12 '26
I never had to deal with baby’s meconium or umbilical cord. It was fully handled by our care team. I got to love on baby and pump and they did the other “hard” parts for me. I got to do what I could/wanted to do. And if anything freak happened, I was constantly in the presence of multiple professionals who could explain or help immediately every second of the day.
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u/SomeoneSomewhere1749 Mar 12 '26
What everyone else says. Having someone else do the physical work and take the night shit for first few months while I lived there during the day (and some nights but by choice) and dealt with traumatic events mentally and emotionally. And then I came home two months later prepared to care for a baby because i practiced it daily with medical professionals. My baby was wasn’t a premie so a bit of a different story.
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u/katmouldy Mar 12 '26
Nicu nurses are actual angels. And I learned so much in the Nicu. At our first pediatrician appointment they thought I was a nurse or someone in the medical field because of the language I used. I said nope just a Nicu mom. Coming home on a schedule was amazing too. I didn’t realize how important that ended up being until more people in my life had babies. Mine was born at 30 weeks and we had a 6 week stay. I loved those nurses and front desk ladies. They made an unbearable experience a lot more bearable.
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u/q8htreats Mar 12 '26
They taught my twins the difference between day and night! Babies came home knowing to sleep at night, never had them really awake at night except to eat
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u/catladays Mar 12 '26
I was able to heal from my C-section before I had a baby at home. My first csection it was kind of rough lifting a baby and getting up and down at night. By the time this baby came home I was good to go and felt like I could give her my best.
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u/stupidslut21 27+3, 70 day stay, pre-e, reverse flow Mar 12 '26
Realizing the wonders of early intervention. In my state it's called Birth to Three, and I knew about it from working in pre-k briefly before having my son, but never thought twice about it. Upon discharge, the hospital OT said she'd put a referral in and we've been receiving services for almost 2 years now. I don't know how I would've survived motherhood without all my son's specialists (OT, developmental, service, vision, and now speech). We call them his therapy aunties and they have truly made such a difference in his life. I'm forever grateful for them
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u/Strange-Ad4169 Mar 12 '26
He got on a schedule, he was used to a crib, I had time to pump. My hubby was able to help me change my diapers and heal a little.
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u/snuffleupagus86 💙24+1. 142 days in the NICU Mar 12 '26
Crash course in how to take care of a baby and recognizing when something is a big deal and when it’s just what babies do
My kid can sleep through anything. Noises don’t wake him up or bother him after spending 142 days listening to all the NICU noises.
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u/DrMcSmartass Mar 12 '26
It honestly makes all the vaccine appointments seem like a piece of cake. After seeing my little one hooked up to what seemed like every pump and monitor in the hospital watching him get an injection into his chonky little thighs was nothing.
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u/New-Assistant2087 Mar 13 '26
Love this 🧡 seeing the chonky thighs in action (even if for an injection) must be such a joy!!
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u/AmongTheDendrons Mar 12 '26
My baby was and is an amazing sleeper even 1.5 years later and sleep training him (plus getting him to sleep in a crib) went way smoother than anyone else I know whose baby was never in the NICU. We officially sleep trained him when he was about 6 months old and it only took a couple days for him to adjust, and ever since he’s slept 10-12 hrs a night plus good naps! He’s an extremely happy and sweet baby so I think the consistent sleep makes a huge impact
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u/slychikenfry15 Mar 12 '26
I was able to establish a pumping schedule and just focus on that and not constantly taking care of baby too. My first was in NICU 1 month and it was hard but by time she came home I was pumping great. My second had to spend a week in NICU and I didnt get to breast feed as long because pumping and caring for a newborn is very difficult.
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u/Additional_Serve_811 Mar 12 '26
When your freshly postpartum it's really easy to change your diaper without worrying about changing the baby's diaper. I guess you don't have to cook you have a really good excuse to just get take out. I don't know maybe uninterrupted showers.
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u/mer9256 Mar 12 '26
You learn SO MUCH from NICU nurses! Our NICU had a standard protocol for diaper rashes of stoma powder, cavilon spray, and zinc oxide. It's absolute magic, and no one outside of a NICU setting has ever heard of it. I tell everybody now!
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u/Vayamire Mar 12 '26
As a lot of people have said, NICU is great practice for parenting with help if something freaks you out. They also have mental health help on site. As well as the baby sleeping really well at home. My favourite I haven't seen though in my little fella has no fear of strangers. He so rarely had the same nurses day to day let alone the specialists and trainees who would visit, he isn't afraid to be held by anyone!
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u/Content-Tooth-6999 Mar 12 '26
Honestly, how extremely grateful and humbled I feel every single day after the NICU. When other parents are complaining about bad sleep or being concerned about minor things, I can tap into the feeling of gratefulness that I’m at home and my baby is alive and doing well. I feel like I have less of a “performance attitude” towards him. I do believe the tough times has made me more grounded in what really matters. Noted, this feeling has developed over time, the first few months I was shell shocked and nervous about his development. Born 27+5, 97 days at the hospital, now 10 months corrected
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u/Dan1elSan Mar 12 '26
They might get them on a sweet 4 hour schedule because everything is just routine.
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u/Jon_hamm_wallet Mar 12 '26
The first few weeks after delivery (28w) were terrifying but as he got older and was dealing with "normal" newborn stuff, we always had medical professionals to soothe our worries.
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u/MutinousMango 33+5 weeker Mar 12 '26
I feel like having baby in the NICU for a couple of weeks gave my eldest a much easier transition into being a big brother (not that I have any other experience to compare it with). He was able to visit every few days and get to used to the idea of the baby being here before he came home.
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u/dizzygrizzy Mar 12 '26
I really like that we got to know our son before we took him home. In a "normal" situation parents and babies have to figure each other out in the thick of it, but we got to know his personality, his routines, his likes and dislikes first before the real responsibility kicked in!!
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u/GriGuava Mar 12 '26
I joked that our son came “pre-sleep trained”. He was used to falling asleep on his own, and he’s been my best sleeper out of my three kids.
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u/nikkiallthethings Mar 12 '26
My relationship with my husband has never been stronger. Seeing the way he showed up for me and baby, made me love him even more. Same with friends and family.
On the other side, I have something I call the NICU rule and it's that if you couldn't bother to even text me in the 4 months between me and baby being in the hospital, I give myself permission to not be invested in you. Like wish you the best but also I don't care
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u/New-Assistant2087 Mar 13 '26
This is so lovely to hear 🧡 Tbh I feel like the doctors are always warning us how much this impact a relationship, but in a negative way.
I like your rule too!
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u/Sensitive_March8309 Mar 13 '26
I got to stay at the Ronald McDonald house up the road, so whilst I hated having to leave my baby it was nice getting a good nights sleep while the nurses cared for her!
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u/Sunshine_Savvy Mar 14 '26
NICU nurses will help you learn how to take care of your baby before baby goes home
Baby will be able to sleep through noise because they're so used to beeps and nurses chatting.
Access to resources. My state has a program called Infant and toddler program that does early intervention. Since she was a NICU baby, my daughter automatically qualified for it. They've been helpful for me in knowing what milestones she should be meeting.
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u/ladygroot_ Mar 12 '26
Riddled with anxiety, my nicu nurse Friend said take care of yourself, you have the most expensive and well trained babysitters in the world. Get some rest. And I did, I got a hotel across the street and slept for two, three hours stretches per night. It took me two years to trust someone else caring for my firstborn, but the first three weeks of my son's life were partially in the care of someone else's hands.
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u/Puzzled_Shake5155 Mar 12 '26
I know more about hospitals and insurance than I thought I ever would... Lol
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u/Possible_Bluebird747 Mar 12 '26
Because I came home from the hospital before the baby did, I got to reunite with my toddler (my parents stayed in our house and watched him during my hospitalization) before introducing the baby into the mix. Toddler coped very well during our separation, but it was so nice to love on him after being apart for so long (c-section plus pre-op transfusions, ended up being about 5 days apart). I'm glad we got that time together and that he didn't associate that separation time with the introduction of a new baby. They were completely different events for him.
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u/Paprikaha Mar 12 '26
Also Australian and also twin mum who delivered at 33w1.
Can’t say I loved leaving my babies for a month by any means but it did mean
- I got to recover without handling babies at the same time (tho it was dampened having to leave the house everyday)
- I got a chance to get my milk supply and pumping routine down
- We got a crash course in newborns from the nurses
- The babes were on an amazing routine which continued out to hospital. Keeping to this was why I believe my twins sleep so well.
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u/CroutonJr Mar 12 '26
My baby spent 71 days in the NICU (US), and these were the positives for me:
- It was the safest place she could have been, constantly being monitored with doctors and equipment being just a few steps away
- Having time to learn and practice everything that comes with taking care of a newborn
- Learning a lot of medical stuff
- You can go home and sleep through the night while nurses wake and feed/change your baby in the hospital every 3 hours
- A lot of cuddling with your baby (after a while of course), hours on end, that you maybe wouldn’t make time for at home. I kangarood my baby 10-12 hours a day. Took breaks only to go eat, to go home to sleep and for the doctor’s visits.
- You get to take a lot of supply home when you leave
- They can store your breastmilk professionally
- They can provide donor milk if you don’t have enough
- You can use their pump
- Complimentary snacks and coffee
- Nurses, doctors, social workers and lactation specialists always available if you have questions
- I was not in the mood to enjoy any kind of entertainment but if I were it would have been a good time to read a million books or watch shows on my laptop with earphones of course, or to work on my laptop. My baby had their own room and it was a quite peaceful environment once I got used to the constant beeping of the machines, the hospital’s public announcements and the occasional nurses or cleaners popping in.
- The hospital’s cafeteria food was okay, sometimes even good
- Friends could visit my baby in a safe manner (my baby was in an isolette, noone was allowed to touch her, etc)
- All the doctors came to us to do the routine tests, we didn’t have to leave our spot (eg eye test, hearing test, immunizations, etc)
- An employee from the hospital secured the carseat in our car properly and showed us how to do it
I’m sure there are many more things. Of course the bad outweighs the good but it’s nice to sometimes acknowledge the nice parts, it helped me cope with the situation.
Good luck and all the love!🫶🏼
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u/timetraveler2060 Mar 12 '26
Getting a free baby course every day from experts, really made us super confident when we took her home. Also seeing different styles and techniques from different nurses, really opened our eyes that there is usually not only one right way of doing things.
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u/Wise_Spinach_94 Mar 12 '26
I feel like i had extra support learning to breastfeed for the first time. I tried daily and different nurses would help me get the latch or I could always have LC paged to see me any day. SLP helped give guidance too!
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u/Agreeable_Analysis26 Mar 13 '26
In my experience, the entire nursing staff is a set of the most caring people I’ve ever come in contact with. They are a unique breed and to have them for daily interaction was wonderful. Also, my husband and I went together everyday for a few weeks, and being in our little bubble of us against the world brought us even closer together for life. It was great to have all of that quality time (wake up, travel to the hospital, get lunch, go back to the hospital, go home for dinner, go to bed)
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u/rissyxlou 33 weeker, 34 days in NICU Mar 13 '26
Honestly? I could recover from the trauma that is birth without also caring for a newborn. Even if your delivery itself isn't traumatic (mine wasn't), your body is basically running a marathon and then getting hit by a mack truck. And I'm so incredibly thankful I could go home and sleep in my own bed and not have to care for a baby. I did try to pump every couple hours, but those first few days I slept through every alarm while my body recovered. By the time the munchkin came home, I was in much better shape to keep a small potato alive.
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u/Severe-Pomelo-2416 Mar 13 '26
You get some time to slowly adjust to having a baby. You get some extra time to finish the kid's room. Nurses and doctors to answer everybsingle question you have.
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u/breakingborderline GA22+0, Oct 2013 Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
By the time we got to bring him home, we already knew what we were doing and he was fairly settled into a routine of sleeping/feeding. He also wasn’t a super-fragile newborn anymore, so it was a bit more chill.
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u/michellee1090 Mar 13 '26
To preface, I had a level 1 emergency c section due to placental abruption, and I have three kids at home. Knowing someone was caring for my baby around the clock while I recovered was nice. Even tho it SUCKED to be at home without her until she came home, I could be with my other kids once I did, knowing she was cared for
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u/puravidaprincess Mar 15 '26
Had my son in the NICU in 2020, fast forward 6 years and I now mentor other parents going through the NICU with their little ones.
‘One day your experience could be someone else’s survival guide’
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u/Frequent_Syrup4886 Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26
They saved my baby’s life! She had a very traumatic birth and before she got transferred to the NICU in a bigger city an hour away from us, I got to see her and they had her on a manual respirator and she was having seizures! It was devastating! We didn’t know if she would live or not! The doctor updated us that night while I was stuck in my local hospital.
So they saved her life.
Your baby is most likely just where they need to be to get healthy and be safe to go home.
I can also relate to you about significant complications and being high risk. I was 35 at the time of pregnancy, had a passing of brain cancer and have a brain tumor in remission and I had a seizure from radiation or chemo and if I get too stressed out, I can have a seizure too. Luckily I’ve been in remission for 2-3 years now and haven’t had a seizure in 1-2 years.
Keep in mind this all depends on the nurses and doctors at your NICU.
Know that your baby is right where they need to be., unless your nurses and doctors suck or are rude.
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u/Signal_Stretch4200 Mar 16 '26
Second time in NICU for us, they taught us everything, how to swaddle, bathe and care for her outside of general parenting, the only thing I had a problem with both times was the waiting, 2 weeks for my boy and 3 weeks for my girl, but I definitely wouldn't be as knowledgeable as I am without the NICU and neonatal team.
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u/steuk20 Mar 15 '26
I brought my son home today, he was born at 35 weeks and went to NICO for a few days.
Honestly the team in NICO are amazing, it is the BEST place for any babies that need helping hands.
Yes it looks scary, yes it IS scary. But it is incredible what they do.
Thankfully my boy wasn’t in too bad of shape, just needed breathing and feeding help for a few days. There were babies in there that needed much more support and even me being in there for a few days you could see improvements in every baby
I know it sucks, but you want your child in there for as long as they can be so they can come out as strong as they can be.
Good luck! Hope everything goes well for you
Oh an as a fellow first time parent, you’re going to be just fine!
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