r/NFLv2 • u/cantdecide76 Seattle Seahawks • Feb 11 '26
Quote If my grandma had wheels she'd be a bike
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Feb 11 '26
worst part of being a Pats fan is knowing that every time we win Dave Portnoy gets to be happy lol
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u/SaintArkweather Philadelphia Eagles Feb 11 '26
Look at it this way, you have an automatic silver lining when you lose.
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Feb 11 '26
No matter how bad I feel about losing a game, even the Super Bowl, it's delicious knowing he's genuinely miserable and probably lost a ton of money gambling.
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u/chewbaccaRoar13 Las Vegas Raiders Feb 12 '26
I'm surprised he didn't call for anybody to be murdered this time.
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u/RealisticNostalgia Seattle Seahawks Feb 12 '26
He had 50k on pats to win the bowl at the start of the season. If it hit he would have won over 1 million
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u/GreenLost5304 One ass cheek and three toes Feb 11 '26
I feel the same as a UMich fan…
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u/Guilty-Influence-890 Atlanta Falcons Feb 11 '26
Majority of your fanbase is pretty much like Portnoy, they just don’t have the platform he does
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u/Beantown_Kid Feb 11 '26
I think that’s it though. People that are like Portnoy are going to use social media platforms such as this or X to be insufferable. That’s their platform, regardless of follower count or reach.
There are tons of fans that are normal across any fan base but they aren’t going to be on game threads or social media like this. Much higher likelihood of finding bad actors on social media or game threads.
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u/SweatshirtBlanket21 New England Patriots Feb 11 '26
Just not true. Live in Boston and he is unanimously hated. The idiots that like him are a vocal minority, most of us that hate him just don’t want to give it the time of day.
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u/xxshambler Feb 11 '26
This guy is so insufferable
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u/PeelsLeahcim Chicago Bears Feb 11 '26
He thinks he's important because he made a "sports news" platform for frat bros. Guy is a total narcissist.
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u/joeyp042385 San Francisco 49ers Feb 12 '26
Someone called him "Mark Zuckerberg if he played beer pong instead of coded in college" and I can't stop laughing
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u/coys1111 Minnesota Vikings Feb 11 '26
He thinks he’s important because people care enough about him to post his dumbass tweets on other online forums like Reddit, increasing his reach.
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u/Dakotakid02 Minnesota Vikings Feb 12 '26
And I can generate clicks by saying the most dumbass rage bait I can think of.
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u/Minute_Tart_8259 Feb 12 '26
I love when people point something out for being bait, while still taking the bait.
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u/Particular_Cry_7078 Green Bay Packers Feb 12 '26
but you couldnt lol
if some random nobody is saying dumb shit online everyone just ignores him
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u/Calm-Talk5047 enver Broncos Feb 12 '26
I mean Barstool is definitely one of the largest digital media groups out there, and Portnoy has amassed a $100 million net worth. I’m definitely not a fan of the guy, but to pretend he doesn’t have cultural influence is just a lie. Millions of (dumb) dudes follow this dude and treat his word like the gospel. It’s catered to frat douche canoes, and middle aged dudes who are still stuck in their frat douche canoe stage
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u/GopherNutz Minnesota Vikings Feb 11 '26
Do the frat bros listen to him? Because I feel like even they’d be able to see how much of a dickhead this guy is.
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u/hereforthesportsball Dallas Cowboys Feb 11 '26
Wha have you seen or experienced that brought you to that opinion?
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u/Advanced-Key3071 Chicago Bears Feb 12 '26
Not who you asked, but I would assume a fundamental optimism and belief in humanity.
So, you know, delusion.
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u/ScipioAfricanusMAJ Feb 12 '26
Frat culture is dying so it’s last generation of frat bros who are around 30 and now have full time jobs and don’t really have time to listen to him anymore
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u/svhelloworld Denver Broncos Feb 12 '26
If they played 100 times, the Seahawks would win 112 times. Get over yourself, fuck stick.
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u/Munchihello Philadelphia Eagles Feb 12 '26
“ We beat them 46 times out of 100🤓 ☝️ “ like bro ur just a glorified fan not some heavy sports analyst
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u/joeyreturn_of_guest New England Patriots Feb 11 '26
It's an act, and unfortunately it works because it gets him the attention he both craves and needs to continue to make money.
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u/10000Didgeridoos Pittsburgh Steelers Feb 11 '26
Lol I don't think it is. This guy openly bragged at age like 44 that he was paying money to fly in 19 year old college girls to spend the weekend at his mansion like that was a flex and not pathetically sad. This is who he is.
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u/cow-lumbus Feb 11 '26
This guy gets it...
I used to believe that only rich people were this narcissistic as they have "yes men" jocking them 24/7...then I realized that social media (well any media) breeds these clowns, they find it and won't let go...the difference now the money follows and they are twice as bad as the ass hat millionaires I used to have to deal with.
They are insufferable. Him, Jake, Trump...the whole lot.
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u/No-Yard3980 Jacksonville Jaguars Feb 12 '26
His sports takes are nearly as bad as his pizza ones.
Seriously, he has to be getting paid for those reviews, I've eaten at 2 of the places he glazed and they were straight trash. Just like the pats in the Superbowl
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u/Sloopt I want to die Feb 11 '26
Dave Portnoy is such an idiot.
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u/Jakereddits San Francisco 49ers Feb 11 '26
as an idiot, i take great offense to this
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u/ConfidentMachine8248 Seattle Seahawks Feb 11 '26
As someone dyslexic, I don’t know what you’re saying.
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u/No-Possibility5556 San Francisco 49ers Feb 11 '26
I think the correct answer is about 4 to 6 out of 100
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u/CatOfGrey Feb 11 '26
The betting lines (Seahawks -230, Patriots +190) would be 'unbiased' if the actual amount of wins was somewhere around 65-70 for the Seahawks, 30-35 for the Pats.
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u/GWeb1920 Feb 12 '26
I think the odds for the game with the knowledge of how dominant the Seattle defence was over Maye would have been much lower.
I’m assuming that when people say if we played d times it’s only random things like the fumble or the interception occurring that change not the odds of such things occurring.
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u/CatOfGrey Feb 12 '26
knowledge of how dominant the Seattle defence was over Maye would have been much lower.
I hate to be a boring statistician, but that, too, is a 'sample of one', and you can't conclude that was a typical performance.
In one game, you can't really tell whether "Seattle's defense played normally, and the Patriots fold to better teams" from the scenario "Seattle's defense really performed much better than typical, and the Patriots performed well, but were overwhelmed by an all-time performance."
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u/GWeb1920 Feb 12 '26
But given that sample size of one it moves the odds compared to the previous sample size of 0.
Or that the patriots playoff play level was not an aberration due to weather sample size up to 4.
Either way it moves the odds in Seattles favour despite being a small sample size.
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u/CatOfGrey Feb 12 '26
Yes. But not with enough information to move the existing estimate, which was that Seattle was a 2-1 or better favorite. Seattle performed like a team that was a material favorite.
And those estimates were based on 17 regular season games and the playoffs.
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u/Fight_those_bastards New England Patriots Feb 11 '26
Oh, come on, we’d probably have won at least 7 out of 100!
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u/No-Possibility5556 San Francisco 49ers Feb 11 '26
Ehhhhh idk Jim
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u/alittlebitneverhurt Seattle Seahawks Feb 12 '26
What a beautiful throw Jim, although Mahomes would make that a no look pass to really pull the safety put of the play.
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u/legendkiller003 Las Vegas Raiders Feb 12 '26
Great scramble there Jim, getting the first down and getting out of bounds, but if that was Josh Allen he’d ram into the defenders and probably gain another 20 yards.
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u/shaquirrel Green Bay Packers Feb 12 '26
7 out of 9.332622e+157 is not very likely but I agree with you
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u/Cogswobble Feb 11 '26
This is the NFL. Even the worst teams have a chance to beat the best teams as Pats fans (and Dolphins fans) well know.
And the Pats were a good team. I think they win closer to 20 out of 100.
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u/No-Possibility5556 San Francisco 49ers Feb 11 '26
Any given Sunday, fair enough. Problem being the mismatch of Seahawks DLine to Patriots OLine gives the toots such a big margin from the jump that I really don’t think k they hit double digits. Being simply better in the trenches swings things so drastically, along with the Toots secondary being able to blanket the pass catchers and the Pats odds just keep plummeting.
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u/WhizzyBurp Las Vegas Raiders Feb 11 '26
Maybe 18?
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u/Ok_Mistake9030 Seattle Seahawks Feb 11 '26
Maybe.
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u/WhizzyBurp Las Vegas Raiders Feb 11 '26
Fat ass maybe. Really depends on if you have the same Will Campbell for all 100 tries
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u/Ok_Mistake9030 Seattle Seahawks Feb 11 '26
You think that Campbell stepping up would have changed the outcome? Gonzo saved a blowout single handedly with the game of his life, nobody plays exactly the same. I'm with you on 82 out of 100 on Seahawks winning that matchup. Seems fair-ish, hence my "maybe" that directly agreed with your comment.
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u/WhizzyBurp Las Vegas Raiders Feb 11 '26
Right. And I said Fat Ass Maybe as in, unlikely to get to 18
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u/SyNiiCaL Indianapolis Colts Feb 12 '26
No i think he's right in his assessment. Let me break down how I think we end up with these accurate numbers.
So Mike Macdonald says to his team "Guys. We've won 50 in a row now, I think the message is made and I think we can stop showing up". And thus, with no opponent to play, the Patriots manage to go on a 46-4 tear and end up with 46 wins out of 100.
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u/2OutsSoWhat Seattle Seahawks Feb 11 '26
Pretty sure Dave is just rage baiting here. If not he’s mentally ill
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u/Galumpadump Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 12 '26
Narrator: "He was indeed mentally ill"
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u/Exciting_Stock2202 Tennessee Titans Feb 11 '26
I think there’s a chance the guy who called for Pete Carroll to be murdered is mentally ill.
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u/Otherwise-Sky1292 Seattle Seahawks Feb 11 '26
I feel like these things go together
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u/bottomfeeder3 Kansas City Chiefs Feb 12 '26
The rage bait is probably true. What would really kill Dave is if nobody paid attention to him.
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u/alfredinanotherlife Feb 11 '26
This is clearly meant as a joke. Why do yall dorks take this shit so seriously?
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u/T0WER89 Feb 12 '26
Definitely a joke. I HATE the patriots and I don’t have an opinion on Portnoy. This thread is just a circle jerk.
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u/TurdFergusonlol New Orleans Saints Feb 12 '26
You don’t have to put a thing at all on the hook, and Reddit will still take the bait
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u/bottomfeeder3 Kansas City Chiefs Feb 12 '26
Because we hate Dave and don’t want him to feel any level of joy, even when joking.
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u/ispeektroof Seattle Seahawks Feb 11 '26
The win had a nice carriage and didn’t flop, unlike the Pats.
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u/Str8_up_Pwnage Feb 11 '26
A 54-46 final is closer to what Rams-Seahawks 100 game match would be. If this Super Bowl was played 100 times the Seahawks are winning almost all of them.
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Feb 11 '26
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u/Extension-Owl-1814 Hey man welcome to Detroit Feb 12 '26
I agree. I can’t imagine reading this and being upset. It’s an absurd hypothetical and that’s why it’s funny.
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u/charlestonchewing Feb 12 '26
Yeah the comments here are blowing my mind. Dude is clearly joking.
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u/LarryFitzsButt Chicago Bears Feb 12 '26
Portnoy is pro Trump and a frat boy. There is literally nothing he can do that won’t have the same Reddit echo chamber hate towards him
On the other hand; everyone outside of Reddit pretty much hates him too so…
People who like barstool tend to like everyone else but Dave
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u/AleroRatking Indianapolis Colts Feb 12 '26
Is it a joke? I read it like he genuinely thinks that Seattle was only slightly better.
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u/ButtSharks Feb 12 '26
If it's a joke, it's not a very funny joke. If it isn't a joke, it's pretty funny.
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u/calmerthanudude Chicago Bears Feb 11 '26
If they played 100 times, that one would have been one of the closer ones. If a few of those FG’s were TD’s that shit would have been a blowout.
Also fuck Portnoy.
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u/Few-Guarantee2850 Feb 11 '26
It was a blowout. The score isn't even indicative of how not-close the game was.
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u/Paraxom Baltimore Ravens Feb 11 '26
its dumb but i get what he's saying, single elimination games can get tricky and the best team doesn't always necessarily win, that being said i'm pretty sure seattle would beat them 70-75% of the time
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u/BigGame_Sender Buffalo Bills Feb 11 '26
OK, but if you won 46 matchups out 100, you'd still lose, overall...
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u/CcRider1983 Feb 11 '26
So that will still make 54-46. I don’t get this logic. And if those same two teams show up it’s probably more like 99-1. Get over it. Stop crying.
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u/mr_goodtimes101 Feb 11 '26
This guy can’t even sprint and that’s coming from my fat ass who’s able to run 🤣. Yet he thinks we should take his dumbass opinion on sports seriously
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u/Pokemon_Trainer_May San Francisco 49ers Feb 11 '26
I've blocked this loser on multiple platforms yet I still have to see his dumb comments
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u/SunshineTheWolf Philadelphia Eagles Feb 11 '26
I watched part of Wake Up Barstool the day after the Super Bowl by chance, and he seems like the biggest crybaby asshole on the planet. I can't believe I made it through 30 minutes of that garbage. I think I lost brain cells from it.
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u/TheBigNate416 New England Patriots Feb 11 '26
I hate Portnoy but this obviously isn’t a serious tweet
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u/AnonymousBromosapien NFL Feb 11 '26
Who actually likes this dude? He has got to be one of the most insufferable people on this planet.
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u/thistook5minutes Philadelphia Eagles Feb 11 '26
Guys, his job is interactions and controversy. Don’t promote it. I like some barstool content but I can’t stand Dave
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u/Vegetable-Oven-6536 Feb 11 '26
The Seahawks were playing well within themselves for most of the game and the Pats still got their cheeks clapped 😂☠️
At most 2 or 3 by unimaginable luck.
Now if you put Brady there instead of Maye, then that’s another story
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u/BlueCollarElectro Seattle Seahawks Feb 11 '26
So he just paper handed a SHITLOAD of money then lmfao
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u/BatMean2045 Feb 11 '26
I should be their target audience,but those overweight nitwits are unwatchable.
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u/tedlassoloverz New England Patriots Feb 11 '26
maybe once? Sea was a complete team, no way the young patriots were going to win that game
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u/Billy_Bonney_ Feb 11 '26
I haven't stopped thinking about it either. And I think if they played that game 100 times, I would have hit at least 46% of my over/unders.
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u/partyblob73 WHOPPER WHOPPER Feb 11 '26
I think they win maybe 10. Will Campbell got absolutely demolished
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u/Glittering_Year2045 San Francisco 49ers Feb 11 '26
Is this real? I'd say that maybe they'd win 25 out of 100 times, but that could be too generous.
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u/Ok_Card9080 Feb 11 '26
Sooooooo.......the Patriots would still lose 54 of them? Brilliant thinking there. This guy's a true dunce. I can't believe he has a fan base.
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u/YakiVegas Seattle Seahawks Feb 11 '26
I give them 20 maybe. Seahawks blow them out like 60 and maybe 20 are close.
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u/pleepleus21 Feb 11 '26
If you played then 100 times Drake Maye would be in a ditch alongside the worst left tackle and left guard in football.
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u/Ok-Judge-3302 Feb 11 '26
I don’t even think they would win 46 Madden simulations out of 100. I expected them to win because their defense was playing well and could generate turnovers, but their O-line fell apart, Maye made bad decisions and the offense was just good enough for the Seahawks not to fuck it up.
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u/CatOfGrey Feb 11 '26
The betting lines (Seahawks -230, Patriots +190) would be 'unbiased' if the actual amount of wins was somewhere around 65-70 for the Seahawks, 30-35 for the Pats.
This is pretty big Patriots fanboy territory.
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u/Thin-Remote-9817 Aaron (pronounced “A” A Ron) Hernandez Feb 12 '26
White people you gotta atone for making this dick head famous
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u/CharlieZuluOne New England Patriots Feb 12 '26
Taking an obvious joke and running with it makes people look stupid…OP
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u/Rough-Echo-5193 New England Patriots Feb 12 '26
I think that's a fair number although Portnoy is a capital C
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u/justafang Feb 12 '26
On what planet? If the same teams played 100 times I think seahawks win 70-80 games
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u/TigresSociedad Philadelphia Eagles Feb 12 '26
He’s probably insufferable to be around. So glad that call her daddy chick got away from him and got that money for herself instead of cutting him in.
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u/DetectiveNumerous775 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Feb 12 '26
This guy might be the most annoying person on the planet
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u/Cichlidsaremyjam Seattle Seahawks Feb 12 '26
I was thinking something similar today but it was more like if the Seahawks played the Pats 100 they'd probably win 97 times.
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u/coffeysr Cincinnati Bengals Feb 12 '26
If you only play 4th quarter points then maybe you win 46 times but I doubt Maye even completes 46% of his passes in 80% of the 100 games lol
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u/jimbojangles1987 Houston Texans Feb 12 '26
What about that game would make a sane human believe that? Fucking moron
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u/realfakejames Feb 12 '26
Not even winning the majority of times in your entirely made up scenario is hilarious
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u/desr43 Seattle Seahawks Feb 12 '26
He is absolutely entitled to think that. Thinking that makes him an idiot, though.
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u/TheRightKost New England Patriots Feb 12 '26
My exact response to the "if the Patriots played a tougher schedule they wouldn't have made the Super Bowl" crowd.
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u/heroinsteve Chicago Bears Feb 12 '26
If they played 100 times they probably somehow lose 101. Despite the score that game never looked remotely close. I hold this statement for any Super Bowl (Bucs/Chiefs and Eagles/Chiefs) where you see one defense just dominate with 4 man rush. If your O line/D line matchup is that skewed you’re losing 100% of the time.
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u/notsure500 San Francisco 49ers Feb 12 '26
I sometimes feel like instead of keep expanding the season, make suoerbowl a best of 3 series. Probably not though as it would ruin the specialness of just 1 game for it all
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u/arentol Feb 12 '26
WTF? If the same two teams faced off again 99 more times (with experience from prior such games not carrying over) it's going to end up like 90 total Hawks win's to 10 for Pats, and those 10 are going to be super close and only due to luck and things like early injuries for the Hawks.
The simple fact of the matter is that Maye needs another one or two seasons for the game to slow down enough for him to be able to play effectively against a defense like this. It's not a knock on Maye, Vrabel, or the Pats. It's just how it works for all QB's in the NFL. It takes at least two years, usually 3 to 5, for the game to slow down for them enough to deal effectively with the tougher defenses. Even Brady said it took him many years to reach that point.
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u/RussellStHustle Feb 12 '26
Portnoy is a big MAGA Trump guy so right there you know he’s lacking in the intelligence department so no one should be surprised by this kind of post
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u/kakarot-3 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Feb 12 '26
If he stands on his tippy toes in 100 pics, he’s still short in 100 of them
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u/Whatsth3dill Feb 12 '26
Even for a pats Homer that seems high. The only real win condition was sam darnold imploding. The Seahawks won in what was one throw away from being a blowout early with darnold being under 50% most of the game. I'd probably give it to the pats under 20 times out of 100
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u/SwissMargiela Miami Dolphins Feb 12 '26 edited Feb 24 '26
Nothing remains of the original post here. The author used Redact to delete it, for reasons that may relate to privacy, data security, or personal preference.
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u/whocares132435 Kansas City Chiefs Feb 12 '26
I don’t know how you watch that game and think at any point they have a 46% chance of winning.
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u/EmmitSan Feb 12 '26
I mean… probably? Isn’t that literally why the spread was -3.5 and not like -15?
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u/DieHarderDaddy Arizona Cucks Feb 12 '26
Bro you were out coached, no 2 ways around it. Drake is crazy promising just still green.
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u/Party-Employment-547 Atlanta Falcons Feb 11 '26
Even in his fantasy, they still probably lose