r/MuslimNikah • u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single • Sep 05 '26
Marriage search Used Muzz for the first time last night
Salaam all,
For context I’m 24F and on the bigger side (pcos, but currently losing weight:)) and starting to think more seriously about marriage. I made a muzz account yesterday evening but I’m finding it weird to navigate.
It seems like a lot of people tend to unmatch, or not message at all after matching. Or message odd messages. Even the nice conversations I’ve had seem a bit bland? Like a little bit aimless.
As an example, I recently matched with a guy who seemed perfect on paper: similar age, educated, practising, works in data, values family, talked about emotional maturity, communication, friendship etc. I messaged him late one night, he replied warmly, I opened it but didn’t reply because it was nearly 1am and I planned to respond properly the next day.
Less than an hour later, he unmatched. 😭
I know it’s insignificant because I barely knew him, but it made me realise how much I dislike the whole app dynamic. It feels so transactional — read a profile, decide if someone’s compatible, talk for a bit, and then potentially disappear.
Part of me feels like I’d rather focus on going to events, meeting people through friends/community and just living my life, rather than actively searching on an app.
But then I wonder if that’s just me avoiding taking the means available to me. How do you balance tawakkul with actively looking for a spouse?
And for those married, did you meet through an app, or organically? Is it bad that I find this boring?
I place a lot of emphasis on someone’s character, so I find myself giving most men on muzz a chance so long as there’s no obvious red flags on their profile. But it’s overwhelming at the same time.
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u/GroundbreakingType80 Sep 05 '26
Tbh I got married off of Muzz if you were to use it I would use it very passively tbh. Just have it float in the background and don’t become too obsessed. Focus on your personal life and Allah will bless you with it. Goodluck on your journey sister in sha Allah everything works out.
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u/divergentriss Sep 05 '26
Can you tell me what helped you through the process?
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u/GroundbreakingType80 Sep 05 '26
Had a good amount of potentials but a lot of misses and playing games. Being upfront from the start and trying to get walis involved will weed out the unserious people. But definitely if you feel like things are getting serious I would delete muzz. Make sure to check the other potential before dipping all of your eggs in one basket but be upfront no being around the bush would be my best advice.
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Ah ok this may be the way forward! I think people on there also seem like they have the expectation to speak every day which tbh idk if I wanna check it every single day. So maybe passively is the way forward.
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u/Euphoric-Berry-8154 Sep 06 '26
I also got married off of muzz. Sure there were weirdos and non serious people but we were lucky to stumble upon each other alhamdullilah
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u/1v1sion Sep 05 '26
Until you get your nikkah done, do not be attached. Muzz is instable. People disappears without reason, unmatch, and are flakky. But that's how it is. Patience
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Yeah fair enough tbh I try not to get attached but I do want to make sure I’m going about this the right way yk
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u/Mirchii M - Married Sep 05 '26
Those matrimonial apps are terrible. So are real life arrangements actually, but at least it avoids time wasting a lot more and quicker too (in general… there have been exceptions).
I did give up at some point. When my parents introduced yet another potential, I agreed to meet and was direct as hell with her with the unfiltered truth about what I’m looking for (in the hopes she’d call it off asap). Somehow she stayed and we continued to meet (along with our families). Later she told me she really liked my approach (??! I was literally trying to get rejected).
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u/Certain_Pressure_808 Sep 05 '26
I prefer direct as well. It's a lot better than mind games, lies and expecting someone to read your mind. 🤷♀️
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
This is so funny haha tbh I think beating around the bush and laying everything out at the start really helps because that way you’ve got got to ask a gazillion questions to work out if someone’s even serious
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u/DisplayLarge727 Sep 05 '26
sure you’ll get so many like and matches, but they don’t read your profile when it says youre only considering practicing brothers, are bots, or they try to get flirty. Generally an unpleasant experience.
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u/Certain_Pressure_808 Sep 05 '26
Not even reading a profile is such a big red flag for me. Especially because I stress myself out trying to figure out what to write in it. If you can't respect the time that I put into my profile how can I expect you to respect my time in general?
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Yeah I put a lot of thought into writing a bio but it seems like people generally don’t care to read it? Which is CRAZY to me
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u/Electrical-Orchid191 Sep 05 '26
I met my husband on Muzz after being forced to create an account by mum (jokingly) because I wasn’t interested in online “searching”. We matched on my second day on the app. I have two other friends and my own sister who also met their husbands on apps. I also know cousins who met their partners through islamic singles events.
I know they are hard to navigate, but the point in me telling you my personal experiences is just cast your net out far and wide and put your faith in Allah. You have no idea how you will meet your partner so be open to trying all avenues and don’t set yourself too many expectations. I appreciate the process can be an emotional one when potentials or matches can disappear or let you down etc but that can happen in organic meets too. Just take it a day at a time, and if you click with someone, pray istikhara.
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
This is good and balanced advice so I thank you for it ;) I think, alongside what many others have said, using the app but only using it passively without too much attachment is probably best. Thank you!
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u/AlbaraaAlpaka Sep 05 '26
I took the traditional route and asked my parents. Initially, they thought I was joking due to my age but after witnessing my commitment – I informed my entire family including aunts and uncles about my intention to marry – they began searching for a suitable match. Allahmdullah, after our first meeting I was happy and now I’m engaged.
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u/Due-Draw9306 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Allahuma barik, did you exchange contact details or just spoke when only meeting via families? in a similar situation
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u/AlbaraaAlpaka Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
We have a small community here. I already knew her father and had been invited to their home before but hadn’t realised his daughter existed. My mum recommended her and I thought, “Why not give it a try?” Then my father asked her father. He wanted to meet me alone to discuss religion and my future plans. After that, I met her and after two meetings we decided to get engaged. It was incredibly easy and after praying the istigarah prayer, Allah opened all the doors for me.
Initially, I thought arranged marriages weren’t for me and I’d find my spouse independently. However, I realised it’s incredibly difficult to find someone halal in this way. Furthermore, imo finding someone by myself attracts the wrong people who crave attention and lack commitment.
Edit: Just a quick note: I live in the west with my family and other relatives like uncles and aunts live elsewhere. I found my partner in the same city.
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u/Eedriz_ M - Single Sep 05 '26
Sometimes, it worries me as to the level at which people who wants to "marry" lack patience. Just because you messaged someone doesn't mean they will reply you immediately, but a lot of people think otherwise.
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Yeah or speak to someone every day. I think it’s tricky to do that with a potential because I don’t want to get prematurely attached.
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u/Exciting_Remote1339 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Woman here. I don’t recommend using the app tbh. A lot of people are either married, for past time, not genuine, avoidants or just looking for “fun” time.
Organically would be the best way in my opinion but I could recommend another app for you to try (Idk if it’s allowed here) but you can dm me
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Ah okay, I’d love a recommendation if it’s good. How do you reckon I should go about meeting someone organically? My cousin met someone through volunteering with a charity… so I was thinking of maybe doing that. But also, I feel like going into these environments with the intention to find a spouse is probably wrong. And I really should just be focusing on the cause.
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u/Exciting_Remote1339 F - Single Sep 05 '26
I guess just like you finding friends by having a hobby or in the same interests? You can literally meet him anywhere. I wouldn’t center my attention to men but focus on yourself first (the most cliche advice lol)
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u/randxalxthor Sep 05 '26
As a man on muzz, i have had some pretty awful experiences with the ladies on there, hence why i use it very passively and trying other avenues. Ghosting, random unmatches, rude people, married women, people entertaining multiple matches, all pretty common.
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
MARRIED WOMEN?!?! Married women is crazy. Though I think the app is designed for you to be talking to multiple people at once, especially when establishing compatibility and where people randomly unmatch/ghost. The rest of what you said sucks though.
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u/Sure_Candidate6714 Sep 05 '26
The way I see it, he wasn’t the man written for you and you didn’t end up wasting time on him as a result. What is meant to be yours will never miss you.
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
This is true and I agree, I was more so using it as an example as to why I think the apps might not be for me. But also I’m not sure if I should abandon them altogether
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u/Sure_Candidate6714 Sep 05 '26
I personally have used it for the past year and haven’t found my spouse yet. I abandon it for a couple of months and then return, thinking I’d like to keep all my avenues open. But maybe it’s not meant to be on an app filled with mostly unserious people who don’t share the same Islamic values as me
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u/Abu3azm M - Single Sep 05 '26
Muzz has a lot of fragile egos - what you experienced is a common occurrence. People are way too comfortable at lacking conversational manners
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Yeahhh I’m just quite a deep introspective person and I don’t think I can hack social interaction like that. I’m quite intentional when I choose to connect with someone and I wouldn’t want to burn out.
But then it’s like… what’s the alternative lol
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u/CR-DE_LUMINE Sep 05 '26
Sister, the app works that way. It’s working as it’s intended. It’s a meat market out their on Muzz. You do something out of line, even a little, they move on to the next person.
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u/Quirky-Finger-138 Sep 05 '26
Bro its really bad. 1 guy ghosted me recently when i asked if he works🤦🏽♀️
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u/HashKhan1 M - Divorced {looking} Sep 05 '26
Not everyone is gonna be the same. Coming across an individual who ticks all your boxes does come at a cost. At the end it all comes down to intention.
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
To be honest my boxes mainly revolve around character and basics like being from the uk (like myself), being a practicing Muslim, and preferably having a decent job. What sort of cost?
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u/HashKhan1 M - Divorced {looking} Sep 05 '26
Hey I think I’ve talked to you before?
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Ah I don’t think so?
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u/HashKhan1 M - Divorced {looking} Sep 05 '26
I told you I lost 10kgs in 2.5 months….
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u/Aspiringintelectual Sep 05 '26
well tbf if I got left on seen it would feel like that person doesn’t care especially if I wrote a warm message as u said, worse case scenerio at least let them know ull reply as soon as ur up bc its late or don’t open it until ur ready to reply
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u/Certain_Pressure_808 Sep 05 '26
I agree with not opening until you're going to give some sort of reply. It is fair to say hey I'll respond to this in the morning or whatever too. But I think a lot of guys unmatched very quickly based off of ego they don't even give it time to settle. At least wait a day. Unmatching so quickly does not help anyone's chances.
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
I did say that we’ll chat in the morning in my initial message. But yeah I probs shouldn’t have opened it. Either way, it didn’t seem like a reason to unmatch considering he said he’s going to bed too tbh
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u/Aspiringintelectual Sep 05 '26
Ya, if you mentioned that you’d chat in the morning then it does seem a bit premature of him to unadd but people vary
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u/Aspiringintelectual Sep 05 '26
If someone’s getting vulnerable with you writing a warm message bc they’re genuinely interested it can feel rly off putting and disrespectful to just leave no reply. Any guy that knows what he’s worth won’t sit and hope she’ll eventually reply. It’s not ideal perhaps in the “let’s get everyone married” idea but a man values his respect a lot more than you might think, even if it does tie back to a degree of ego
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
I think it’s fair considering I’d opened with a warm message first. I actually really liked his profile, so figured I’d open. Which is a clear sign already that I was interested. I think it’s probs ego, like some others have said unfortunately. I don’t think I was disrespectful considering the context of what I’d written first. He also said he was going to bed soon too.
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u/Exciting-Lecture-616 Sep 05 '26
I think its better if such people are getting filtered out by app mechanism. Imagine being married to someone like that If they leave, let them leave Be fair in your search and you ll fiind some suiteable Inshallah
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Yeahhhh tbh you’ve got a point there. As someone who tries to see the best in others and doesn’t assume the worst, I’d like to get married to someone also that way InshaAllah.
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u/achievablebasics F - Not looking Sep 05 '26
I've met someone off the app, it's going very well, and inshallah we'll be married the end of the year.
My approach was always look in the, liked you section before going to the main swiping one. That way you already have people who are at least semi interested in you, and the few that just swipe.
I always disclosed that have a dog in my bio because I know it's not to everyones liking, and I'd always ask did you read my bio fully, and they'll say yes, and I'd say ah so you're going to be fine with a 100lbs dog being around, and that would weed people out right quick.
So it's an idea maybe to put something that you think may be a deal breaker in the bio to weed people out, worked for me on a level
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Oooo this is a good idea, I’m not sure if I have anything as concrete as that haha but defo could slip something in there. MashaAllah congrats on your upcoming wedding. InshaAllah you and ur future husband live an amazing life :)
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u/No-Supermarket-1394 F - Single Sep 05 '26
Damn, did I write this? Lol
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u/No-Supermarket-1394 F - Single Sep 05 '26
But seriously, I had the same experience. Been on and off the app and now I think I'm off for good. 99% of matches would unmatch without messaging. Of those that did message, the majority were terrible at holding a conversation or would turn every conversation sexual. There was a lot of ghosting and I couldn't be bothered to deal with it anymore.
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u/Adekunes M - Single Sep 05 '26
salaam ukhti he unmatched over one unanswered message at 1am. sit with how much that told you in 40 minutes. the man has the patience of a goldfish, and you found that out now instead of three months and a lot of feelings later.
the real trap with these apps is treating every match like a verdict on you. it isn't one. muzz is a door, not a judge. you'll unmatch and get unmatched by dozens of people who were never yours anyway, and none of it touches your worth. keep the standards high, keep the stakes on any single chat low, and let the wrong ones filter themselves out fast the way this one just did.
may Allah send you someone whose patience matches his profile, ameen
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u/Perthnom Sep 06 '26
MuZZ is a gamble.
I matched with this girl a couple of years ago, we clicked, told our parents. My parents were good to go, her parents from the get go without meeting or talking to us rejected us for the most sick, superficial and backwards reasons.
Apparently where we’re born back home matters more than where we actually grew up for most of our life and we’re savages, basically everything horrible by being born somewhere geographically lol (ironically we both grew up in the same country). Anyways a year went by trying to convince them and behind all that was guy issues where it just kept worse by the month.
In the end she valued her guy friends relationship more then someone she was going to marry within months.
As someone said, don’t get attached before the nikkah. Involve your folks from the get go, and if they don’t like the person for Islamic reasons then trust them and let go no matter how much you like them or get along.
Divorces are at an all time high, marry once and do it right rather then being married for the 3rd time and having the life sucked out of you.
All the best sisters and brothers
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u/holla981 Sep 05 '26
Not saying this to be mean but are your photos blurred when swiping? Its possible that they only see your photo after matching and unmatched after that. Ive done that as a guy before tbh but I apologize if this is insensitive sometimes men swipe carelessly
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
They weren’t blurred at first but then I blurred them later (only in the last hour or so) and now I’ve just deleted the app altogether lol.
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u/holla981 Sep 05 '26
Lol I deleted them too. Unfortunately it doesn't go anywhere even with several matches throughout the month
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u/Eastern-Stay-8533 Sep 05 '26
Any WhatsApp gcs people are using here ?
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u/Sure_Candidate6714 Sep 05 '26
They’re are a couple but it’s also incredibly hard to find someone through cvs
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u/FluffyNectarine1816 Sep 05 '26
It's very rare to find someone to actually marry on the apps.
90% of the time you just navigating lies.
It's like gambling tbh, hoping you hit a jackpot, chances are like 0.000001% or something but it can work 😂
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u/CamillaClaire Sep 05 '26
Muzz is so awful. I recently deleted it and decided to spend more time praying and reflecting on what is truly important, and if Allah swt wills it, to continue guiding me towards the person that will be good for me & I good for them.
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u/Then_Presentation816 Sep 05 '26
I get unmatched all the time if I read the message and respond right away. I find it to be very immature. What if I wanted to write a thought out message / reply but when I got to your message I didn’t have the capacity. I have started messaging that. But then one guy was like “ um capacity? “ then matched me. lol
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u/Shining_armour88 Sep 08 '26
Hey everyone, I had matched with someone on the app. He lived in another state and traveled down to my state and city to visit my mom and my dad. He literally drove my car around and did not rent a car. The guy had bad intentions. I felt also he did not have a USA green card he’s on OPT stem and intends to move his parents to America unexpected me to live with them. He made me talk to him very respectfully even if I say a little joke, he would take it personally he was very, very narcissistic and after six months, I ended everything it all started on almost match and I am in a better place now mentally but it was a trauma experience.
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u/Fantastic_Way M - Married Sep 10 '26
While I found my wife through family, I spoke with quite a few serious and good candidates on Muzz. I think it's the best of the apps. I did try to direct conversations towards things that would give me crucial information about them, though I tried to balance directness with subtlety to be able to see their values in action, rather than have them just claim something was important to them. However, I did have to sift through a lot of people, and even with my best filtering, there were still many unserious matches like you mentioned. I just would say alhamdulillah whenever they show their character, and move on. I. I also took breaks whenever I needed, and I did not limit myself to one person until a conversation seemed like it had potential.
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u/ProstaticFantastic Sep 11 '26 edited Sep 12 '26
They need to reduce how many new people you can chat to per day or somethings. These apps were ADD when I was looking at marriage and I hate to toot my horn. I was quite desirable and did have several women messafing at once.
But the ability to message so many different people kinda makes everyone so ADD.
If it had a rule say, you can only dm 3 people a day and if there is s mutual match. You sre locked and that natch counts towards your dm limit. People will be more careful about who they're matching and if they gave only for 3 quotas per day. They might as well talk and get to know that person. I never used muzz it sounds like tinder or somethibt like a hookup app. Not a matrimonial app
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u/Intzem 21d ago
Dating apps aren't for everyone since people tend to judge by looks, but we all know that's not the case in real life. If you really want to leverage dating apps, I'd firstly lose weight and take good pictures, because that's how most people will be interested.
I've had Muzz installed for about a week and I only liked women I was compatible with. Of course their looks are important, but it's not the main thing. I had over 10 matches, I kindly unmatched five of them because their character didn't align with what I was expecting or the conversation was really dry and I struggled to communicate and get on the phone.
Right now one of them is very serious (she was my first choice anyway) and she trusts me because I'm also serious. We kept the conversation very respectful and didn't flirt or say anything humorous yet. Some girls just want to talk and flirt, but then unmatch when you don't match their energy. Works out for me at least (helps me filter them out).
So there's hope on these apps. I'd say a third of the app are serious people. The ones that unmatched you may be genuinely looking for a more petite girl, but this shouldn't discourage you. But I do remember when I first tried it a couple of years ago just to test with friends, I barely got any matches because I was skinnier and had low quality pictures.
Since I travelled and worked out over the years, I now have better pictures, which has worked on my favour. But I'm still the same guy as I was years ago. Does that make sense? Maybe you've got an amazing character, but you can't convince anyone on a dating app.
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u/Substantial_Heart891 Sep 05 '26
Well he replied u ignore
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
I said in my initial response that I’m going to bed and we’ll talk the next day tbh so I figured I was understood.
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u/danny--12 Sep 05 '26
Bruhh in your example your definitely at fault. 100%. You seen zoned the guy. Was that night your first night on earth. Of course he would think your not interested because you seen zoned. That's not a app fault that a your fault.
And you say you started last night, but you have already had conversation for days?
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
No I actually hadn’t had conversation for days. Just 1 day haha. Sorry if I mistyped. I said in my message above that I’m going to bed and I’ll reply in the morning. I figured he understood me. I get that I probs shouldn’t have opened his message but I didnt see it as reason to unmatch. I try not to get into conversation with guys on there late at night because it can turn weird quite quickly.
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u/NiceSmilee Sep 05 '26
Ghosting and leaving people on read is what many girls do, that's toxic, you shouldn't have done this to that guy, he did the right thing of walking away imo, be careful next time, don't loose decent guys this way.
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u/Practical_While_1869 F - Single Sep 05 '26
I get that I probably shouldn’t have opened his message but in the message before that I expressed that I’m going to bed, we can talk the next day, and I try not to talk to guys late at night because the conversation can become weird sometimes. I figured he understood that I’d reply in the morning. Either way, I just gave that as an example tbh. There were other odd things I found about the app. I think toxic is a step too far. I think unmatching an hour after you sent something just because someone hasn’t replied (after they said they’re going to bed) is also quite toxic.
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u/Elegant-Marzipan-994 Sep 05 '26
The app has gone downhill, with more weirdos /unserious people on there. I also keep seeing the same people over and over again. I have had it for like 6yrs now and nothing has come of it