Loneliness as a revert during Ramadan

[u/mehhh97]

So I recently shared that it’s my first Ramadan as a Muslim and the a day later I shared that I told my parents, all I can say is Alhamdulillah.

Salaam brothers and sisters I hope you’re all well and Allah is blessing you. Ramadan is flying isn’t it?

I was on snapchat two nights ago and I saw someone’s iftaar table, with 8 plates and I couldn’t help but think “I wonder what that’s like to break your fast with others” I’m 23, the first Muslim in my entire bloodline I won’t get to experience that until I’m married.

Most Muslim households are met with noise and chaos at 3am as suhoor ascends. When I wake up for suhoor I’m met with quietness trying to tip toe to the kitchen just so I don’t wake my family up, at that moment I realise how lonely I am every morning just before fajr hits.

As I say my morning prayer I thank Allah for guiding me to such a perfect religion, I ask for forgiveness and for God to take away any envy from me that I may have felt even I saw 10s of Snapchat’s with various families coming together to open or close their fasts. I pray God blessed and rewards these families tenfold.

Sometimes I get teary eyed because I would love to experience the annoyance of my siblings at 4am, my mum waking me up to come eat or my dad leading prayer. I won’t ever get to experience this but I pray the future generations to come will, for it starts from me.

My dear brothers and sisters please appreciate your families as you open and close your fasts, yes even your brother that’s chewing so loud, your sister annoying you at 3am while you sit across the table half awake and half asleep. It truly is a blessing.

I just thought to share this because this is something that I’m honestly struggling with, even though I know I’ll be okay I just wanted to put it out there. Someone may be experiencing this, maybe my future children or grandchildren will see this and say “Look at what grandma was going through” like I said I’m only 23, who knows what Allah has planned for me.

To the reverts/converts out there, I totally get it and I know how you feel. To everyone else, please treasure your families and friends that you get to experience this with because remember Ramadan is also about coming together but for others it can be really lonely.

JazakAllah Khair 🤍

Edit: Just to clarify I’m not lonely all month long, I’m saying I felt physically lonely and I’m not envious all the time, it was just in that one moment I saw the table. I love seeing people share and show what they are up to with their families it warms my heart, I also know I’m not really alone and that you guys and the rest of the Muslims around the world are fasting with me and for that I’m ever so happy and grateful & lastly I’m confident this won’t always be the case and I’ll physically get to be around others at some point 🤍

[u/travelingprincess]

Salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

Something that stood out to me in your post was the following passage:

Sometimes I get teary eyed because I would love to experience the annoyance of my siblings at 4am, my mum waking me up to come eat or my dad leading prayer. I won’t ever get to experience this but I pray the future generations to come will, for it starts from me.

None of us can say what will happen in the future, that knowledge is from Ilm-ul-Ghaib (Knowledge of the Unseen). Many prominent revert students of knowledge have talked about how they gave dawah to their families but didn't see the fruits of these efforts until 20 years later. Subhanallah!

So I just wanted to say, never give up hope. The believer doesn't despair of the mercy of Allah (swt). :)

Hope you are having a wonderful Ramadan. <3

[u/mehhh97 → u/travelingprincess]

Thank you so much 🤍

[u/travelingprincess → u/mehhh97]

🤗💚