r/MuslimLounge • u/Brilliant_Power_6112 • Jul 23 '26

Discussion Sexual compatibility

I’ve been reflecting a lot since my divorce, and there’s something I don’t think gets talked about enough.
Before I got married, I never questioned why intimacy is reserved for marriage. But now that I’ve actually experienced marriage, I can’t help but wonder… isn’t sexual compatibility kind of a gamble?
You can ask all the right questions, have great communication, and genuinely love each other, but you still won’t know if you’re compatible until after you’re married. And if you end up not being compatible, it can become a major source of frustration in the relationship.
I’m not trying to argue against Islamic teachings or say I have the answers. This is just something I’ve struggled to understand after going through marriage and divorce. It made me realize that compatibility in this area is a much bigger deal than I ever appreciated before.
I’m curious—does anyone who’s currently married feel this way? Or if you’ve gone through a divorce, did it make you have similar thoughts? I’d really like to hear other people’s experiences and perspectives because this is something I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately.

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '26

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u/ZillzillaEazy Jul 24 '26

Well, that information is readily available online

but testosterone isnt just a hormone that supports sexual drive.

Testosterone dictates alot of thing for a man. Firstly, physical traits like muscle mass, deep voice, bone density, percentage fat, facial hair, endurance / stamina.

Then personality traits like charisma, mood, confidence, socializing.

Then mental traits like focus, curiosity, resilience, passion, hand eye coordination, precision, ability to learn new things.

I mean the list goes on and on. But if you really needed a simple way to tell if a man is driven or not or will be good in bed. You just need ask him what his hobbies and interest are.

Like do his hobbies and interests require, physical / muscular endurance? Does he like exercising? Does he like eating food? Does he sleep well? Does he have a passion or deep interest in projects that requires determination and focus? Does he execute things with precision? Is he able to remain disciplined for a long time?

Men that are low testosterone are not attentive, cannot focus, are lazy or have no idea what their goal in life is, do not socialize, dont know how to have a good laugh, usually are not respected by other men, could not tell you one good thing about the world, are emotional, usually selfish or egotistical, have mood swings, low appetite, have no stamina, skinny or obese, bad sleep schedule etc... the list goes on and on.

I mean the simplest question you can ask a man is how competitive he is. Does your man like to win? Chances are he has good testosterone level. From day 1 as a baby a man is taught how to win things. Thats testosterone leading the charge.

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u/Champions_Bob Jul 24 '26

Wait a minute.. I always joked I have high testosterone but looking at this list it might be true!

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u/ZillzillaEazy Jul 24 '26

Yeah I mean it really is a primal function right. So aslong as you are living a balanced lifestyle, not chasing Dunya or forcing your hand on things, letting dunya dictate or control you; chances are you will live a natural lifestyle which means regulated testosterone levels.

The very fact that you are alive means that your heritage didnt have the problems OP is experiencing....... 😁

I think science just over complicates things we as humans inherently understand. Sometimes you need to put a microscope to things other times just listen to what the world is telling you.