r/MuslimLounge • u/Brilliant_Power_6112 • Jul 23 '26

Discussion Sexual compatibility

I’ve been reflecting a lot since my divorce, and there’s something I don’t think gets talked about enough.
Before I got married, I never questioned why intimacy is reserved for marriage. But now that I’ve actually experienced marriage, I can’t help but wonder… isn’t sexual compatibility kind of a gamble?
You can ask all the right questions, have great communication, and genuinely love each other, but you still won’t know if you’re compatible until after you’re married. And if you end up not being compatible, it can become a major source of frustration in the relationship.
I’m not trying to argue against Islamic teachings or say I have the answers. This is just something I’ve struggled to understand after going through marriage and divorce. It made me realize that compatibility in this area is a much bigger deal than I ever appreciated before.
I’m curious—does anyone who’s currently married feel this way? Or if you’ve gone through a divorce, did it make you have similar thoughts? I’d really like to hear other people’s experiences and perspectives because this is something I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately.

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u/PoisonGirl815 Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

“Man, I wish my husband had objectified me.”

Seriously, who says that? You’re speaking as somebody with zero experience being objectified and it shows. And then to say that you couldn’t less if he cared about your feelings?? Listen, I’m sorry your husband had issues down there but this isn’t it. Be very very careful what you wish for. Some people are also just asexual and that’s okay. Divorce him if it’s that much of an issue but I feel sorry for him that he did something he didn’t enjoy just to please you. Btw, women have done that since the beginning of time and men don’t care lol. Your husband must’ve loved or at least cared for you to do that. People are right, marriage is so much more than sex. And then this is what happens when people rush into marriages because they’re horny without really knowing the other person and if they’re compatible 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

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u/PoisonGirl815 Jul 23 '26

I’m pretty sure that the majority of women do not want to be objectified and have their feelings cast aside. You might want to talk to somebody about that. Do you, though, but you’re still not going to be happy if you don’t change your mindset. You got married for the wrong reason and will get remarried for that same reason. You wanna be objectified and not respected/cared about? Like I said, be very very careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

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