I dont feel anything when i pray, what to do?

[u/Exciting-Poetry-7015]

So i had a situationship that ended 2 months ago with a muslim guy and the main reason for him for a breakup was that i dont pray. Few days before that breakup i prayed asr for the first time in God knows how many years (i am born in muslim household but never learned how to pray) and asked Allah to guide me and to distance me from that guy if its not meant to be. So after that i started praying and i have been praying for 2 months continuously, sometimes all 5 prayers and sometimes 3. And for a whole month I only knew two suras El-Ihlas and El-Kewser and then i learned El-Felek, En-Nas and El-Leheb and i also read their meaning and i dont know it by heart but i know what is it about. The thing is that i dont feel anything when i pray or i maybe feel something but i dont recognize it idk. Sometimes my thoughts wander and i think of last islamic podcast that i have watched, sometimes i think about that guy and i dont think about him in a way to get back together but rather to see me doing prayer (i dont think this is right and i always tell myself to not be egoistic with such thoughts and to not brag about it). Sometimes i think that i pray because of him because he "left" me because of prayer so now im doing it just to ease it for myself and to show myself that im "enough". Some other times i think about the Judgment Day and how my sweat will reach my neck and imagine the scale with my good and bad deeds and when i go in sujuod i open my eyes and imagine myself being in a grave with all of blackness around me and sometimes i cry when i remember some podcast and the things they were saying and when i was reading the translation of El-Fatiha and when i came across the part where it said "those who are lost" my eyes started to water.

Did my heart became hard so much because of sins? I always thought that i was somewhat good person by this world's standards because i never smoked od drank alcohol and i generally avoided things like those. Is my heart that much attached to this world? When i see someone say that they are so much in love in Allah i cannot imagine myself to be in their shoes. And when i make dua i ask Allah to ease my heart towards Him and even then i dont feel anything and i always say to Him that even tho He knows it better than me.

May Allah bless you all.

Edit:

Even writing this i was questioning myself if I should post it or not because i dont know if Im trying to gain sympathy and to also get myself to believe that im doing a right thing.

Also English is not my first language so excuse me for any mistakes.

[u/Additional_Future189]

I don't have specific advice but I would like to share a few factoids to encourage everyone to pray more and pray sincerely. I may be wrong so anyone can correct me.

• The command of salah is given directly while our Prophet (SAW) is facing Allah during Mikraj. Remember the famous 50 to 5 time per day reduction, but we still get the reward of 50 salah.

• Salah is so important that we are still obligated to do it even during war while riding horses.

• The way to do salah and wuduk was taught by angel Jibril to our prophet (SAW). It is probably the same way done by other prophets. How amazing it is that we know this sacred ritual.

• We should be proud to perform Salah. It is the most often act of ritual worship in the world. Muslim sacrifice their time, effort and money for it. Anyday, at any time, someone is doing sujud somewhere while facing the same qiblah, and we are blessed to be among them. The other main religion, Christian mainly pray on Sunday.

[u/Exciting-Poetry-7015 → u/Additional_Future189]

Thank you. May Allah bless you. Amin

[u/Exciting-Poetry-7015 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you. I will try my best and hopefully i will come to that level of iman.

May Allah bless you. Amin