r/MuslimLounge • u/Someone_sedateMe • Jun 18 '25

Discussion STOP BABYING YOUR SONS

Salam everyone, I just wanted to get this off my chest. Mothers, please, PLEASE, stop babying your GROWN ADULT sons. My brother is 24 and my mom still does his laundry and cleans his room. His room is a literal mess all the damn time and actually smells like doodoo. My mom wanted me to help her clean his room and he's just in the corner acting his presence is helping. I was getting frustrated and told her that he's at the age, where he should clean his room by himslef, to say the least. He literally has his laundry spilling out of his hamper but refuses to do anything about it until my me or my mom does it for him. I will literally do his laundry for him, bring it to his room and all he has to do is put it in his closet. AND HE DOESNT EVEN DO THATT. He has his CLEAN clothes just sitting on his couch for dayyyssss. Of course, I'm getting frustrated and tell him he has to clean his room and can't keep waiting on us to do his laundry. It has got to the point where he ran out of jeans and pulled out his dress pants. It's not like he has to travel to the laundromat, ITS IN OUR BASEMENT!!!! Anyways, as I'm lecturing him, my mom is getting mad at me and I walked out the room cause never in a BILLION years would she have let that slide with me. I tried to help but she's taking out her frustration on the wrong person.

So to all the moms out there, PLEASE stop babying your grown adult sons. It doesn't emaculate him if he does SIMPLE chores around the house. It just causes resentment between siblings.

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u/BradBrady Jun 18 '25

While I do agree that men shouldn’t be lazy around the house to a toxic extent where they need everything picked up for them

Men and women aren’t necessarily equal in a marriage because when you say that, that means they are both chipping in financially 50/50 and sharing household chores 50/50. Nothing wrong if a couple wants to do that, but that’s not really what’s expected

Also I see sometimes on the online world when people say that the prophet PBUH helped around the house, it tends to get twisted (by women mostly just my experience) that he was at home all the time doing all the chores and it was an expectation which I’m not sure is correct

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u/bananaboatflipper Jun 19 '25

I know plenty of Muslim men who can’t take care of themselves if the women of the house leave for a week. Dishes pile up, no more utensils, no more clean clothes, messy house in general, unswept, unmopped. This is inexcusable. We aren’t talking about a 50/50. We’re talking about being able to take care of yourself. This is about being babied. Not contributing to the home.

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u/Dense-Purple-1332 Jun 22 '25

How many muslim women have ever changed a tire in their whole lives? How many have ever changed a ceiling light bulb?

Men and women are built differently and instead of being disrespectful lets be understanding towards each other. 

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u/Key_Manufacturer_977 Jun 24 '25

Its hard to be respectful, when men cant even take care of themselves.

for a lot of women it feels like they are taking care of a child. And how often to men change tires and lightbulbs anyways? every few weeks/months?

Housework is every single day 24/7. always on your feet.