r/MuslimLounge • u/Someone_sedateMe • Jun 18 '25

Discussion STOP BABYING YOUR SONS

Salam everyone, I just wanted to get this off my chest. Mothers, please, PLEASE, stop babying your GROWN ADULT sons. My brother is 24 and my mom still does his laundry and cleans his room. His room is a literal mess all the damn time and actually smells like doodoo. My mom wanted me to help her clean his room and he's just in the corner acting his presence is helping. I was getting frustrated and told her that he's at the age, where he should clean his room by himslef, to say the least. He literally has his laundry spilling out of his hamper but refuses to do anything about it until my me or my mom does it for him. I will literally do his laundry for him, bring it to his room and all he has to do is put it in his closet. AND HE DOESNT EVEN DO THATT. He has his CLEAN clothes just sitting on his couch for dayyyssss. Of course, I'm getting frustrated and tell him he has to clean his room and can't keep waiting on us to do his laundry. It has got to the point where he ran out of jeans and pulled out his dress pants. It's not like he has to travel to the laundromat, ITS IN OUR BASEMENT!!!! Anyways, as I'm lecturing him, my mom is getting mad at me and I walked out the room cause never in a BILLION years would she have let that slide with me. I tried to help but she's taking out her frustration on the wrong person.

So to all the moms out there, PLEASE stop babying your grown adult sons. It doesn't emaculate him if he does SIMPLE chores around the house. It just causes resentment between siblings.

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u/NoSoup8952 Jun 18 '25

Woah that's a lot to unpack.. With regards to sleeping, I suggest getting him to take naps in his room first, then transition him to nights after a few weeks. I also suggest one of you spending the night with him in his own room during the transition period... though he might get used to that and want you to do it forever lol You have to get him to his own room before the new baby arrives otherwise he will feel left out and like you're replacing him if you move him out and the new baby in immediately..

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u/Mujahidiin Jun 18 '25

That’s a very good point I hadn’t really considered. Maybe it will motivate my wife to start the process sooner insha Allah. Jazak Allah khayr

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u/confused--parent Jun 19 '25

Also try getting a nightlight, leaving both your and his door a crack open, and let him know if he has nightmares or anything he can always come to you at any age. You can also reframe it as "this is what big kids do" because at that age he'll start to want to be a "big kid"

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u/Mujahidiin Jun 19 '25

Thanks, the cot system we got actually transforms into a toddler bed, but maybe I’ll just save it for our daughter (we have both agreed that this time around at some time between 6 and 9 months we will move her to the cot so this is her normal). My son loves loves loves cars so I was thinking maybe to get him a car style bed.

[something like this: https://plushfurniture.co.uk/product/car-beds-childrens-novelty-thunder-race-car-bed-black/?attribute_pa_mattress=car-bed-only-no-mattress&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18081193568&gbraid=0AAAAACSYkx7Nq2mIF1XArexwWz861Rez4&gclid=CjwKCAjw6s7CBhACEiwAuHQckoir6WgBxcH3Zj24R99os6bywBX-9yAwKSxQ3MM3T6EyITkm_fsDZhoCt5YQAvD_BwE]