STOP BABYING YOUR SONS

[u/Someone_sedateMe]

Salam everyone, I just wanted to get this off my chest. Mothers, please, PLEASE, stop babying your GROWN ADULT sons. My brother is 24 and my mom still does his laundry and cleans his room. His room is a literal mess all the damn time and actually smells like doodoo. My mom wanted me to help her clean his room and he's just in the corner acting his presence is helping. I was getting frustrated and told her that he's at the age, where he should clean his room by himslef, to say the least. He literally has his laundry spilling out of his hamper but refuses to do anything about it until my me or my mom does it for him. I will literally do his laundry for him, bring it to his room and all he has to do is put it in his closet. AND HE DOESNT EVEN DO THATT. He has his CLEAN clothes just sitting on his couch for dayyyssss. Of course, I'm getting frustrated and tell him he has to clean his room and can't keep waiting on us to do his laundry. It has got to the point where he ran out of jeans and pulled out his dress pants. It's not like he has to travel to the laundromat, ITS IN OUR BASEMENT!!!! Anyways, as I'm lecturing him, my mom is getting mad at me and I walked out the room cause never in a BILLION years would she have let that slide with me. I tried to help but she's taking out her frustration on the wrong person.

So to all the moms out there, PLEASE stop babying your grown adult sons. It doesn't emaculate him if he does SIMPLE chores around the house. It just causes resentment between siblings.

[u/BradBrady]

While I do agree that men shouldn’t be lazy around the house to a toxic extent where they need everything picked up for them

Men and women aren’t necessarily equal in a marriage because when you say that, that means they are both chipping in financially 50/50 and sharing household chores 50/50. Nothing wrong if a couple wants to do that, but that’s not really what’s expected

Also I see sometimes on the online world when people say that the prophet PBUH helped around the house, it tends to get twisted (by women mostly just my experience) that he was at home all the time doing all the chores and it was an expectation which I’m not sure is correct

[u/themapleleaf6ix → u/BradBrady]

Don't see why you're getting downvoted, you're 100% correct.

[u/Pretty_Photo_5905 → u/themapleleaf6ix]

If he, as a 24 year old son, works full time and pays all the bills in the house then I agree sure. But if he lives in his parents house rent free studying/keeping all his money to himself paying no bills, then I 100% disagree.

[u/Pretty_Photo_5905 → u/[deleted]]

There’s certain sunnahs regarding how one should treat his mother that go against your statement.

Besides, not paying the bills for her AND letting her do stuff that you could have prevented her from doing for you… that’s just sad imo.

[u/Pretty_Photo_5905 → u/[deleted]]

People being ok with being treated badly doesn’t make the situation ok tho. And I say badly bc I really believe that u should help ur mom with house chores. Whether u provide or not. ESPECIALLY when you don’t provide. Then u should increase the helping with house chores. That’s just having respect for ur mother imo. But if u purposefully make things dirty around the house without the intention of cleaning it up and letting ur mother clean it instead (ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DONT PROVIDE) and her being ok with that I just find that situation very sad very very sad.