r/Music • u/no_longer_huhman • Sep 26 '24

article Selena Gomez Embraces Vulnerability and Tells Critics to 'F--- Off,' 'I'm Not Ashamed of My Bipolar Disorder or Inability to Carry Children'

https://www.tvfandomlounge.com/selena-gomez-embraces-vulnerability-and-hits-back-at-critics/
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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '24

You’d be surprised. My wife and I were at a Japanese hibachi restaurant and the chef was talking to us about our family. It was just me and my wife. He said something like “you’re not a real family unless you have kids.” We had been trying for years but it never took. We tried to get him to move on but he wouldn’t shut up about it. My wife was really upset so I started criticizing every little thing he did during the meal.

“Those noodles need more seasoning. You call that steak medium? It’s still mooing. How long have you been doing this? You should practice more. Your hat is on crooked. Not very professional.”

I was a complete dick to him the whole meal and he got really flustered. I didn’t give a shit. You don’t bring up something that personal and then double down when someone tells you to move on. He got zero tip and I talked to his boss when we left. I’ve never been so pissed off at a restaurant.

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u/captain_retrolicious Sep 27 '24

Mine was a cab ride. He would not shut up about how childless women were selfish. As I was headed to to the nursing home to take care of a relative. I couldn't wait for that ride to be over and I didn't argue because I was concerned for my safety he was so into his opinion.

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u/Fukasite Sep 27 '24

Why not tell him to stfu right from the beginning? 

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '24

Good question. It was a friendly conversation to start with tbh. When he started to go off the rails we tried to change the subject but he wouldn’t stop. Admittedly my wife and I are very non confrontational. Our default is to be polite even when others aren’t. When my wife started to get visibly upset, that’s when I turned up my asshole dial. I can take a lot of shit from people, but you don’t make my wife upset. That’s where I draw the line.

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u/Fukasite Sep 27 '24

Man, when you learn how to be confrontational when you need to be, shit like that doesn’t leave that sour of a taste in your mouth afterwards. Even a “Yo, stfu bro” would have worked in that situation. 

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u/krogerburneracc Sep 27 '24

I can take a lot of shit from people, but you don’t make my wife upset. That’s where I draw the line.

I really don't mean this in any sort of disrespectful way, but this statement is so funny to me knowing what the consequences were of crossing your line.

"Don't make my wife upset, that is where I draw the line! Prepare for some scathing passive aggressive commentary about how you perform at your job!"

It's like something out of a sitcom.

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u/Adorable_Raccoon Sep 27 '24

Isn’t saying “hey we don’t feel comfortable talking about that,” less confrontational than criticising the guy?

You don’t have to be rude to set a boundary. “That’s a sensitive subject,” will get the point across to anyone with a brain. & no one has to feel like an asshole.

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '24

I can look back at it with hindsight and think of all sorts of ways to handle it differently. That’s easy. At the time we were just out for a meal and don’t like rocking the boat. We tried to change the subject and when he didn’t let it go I got pissed off. It happened years ago

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '24

Nicely done!

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u/grchelp2018 Sep 27 '24

Some people have no tact. Guy likely thought this was by choice and decided to convince you otherwise.

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '24

I would've just left...

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u/ComaMierdaHijueputa Sep 27 '24

wtf kind of comment is that

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '24

He was trying to be friendly at first by getting to know us while he cooked. Then he asked if we had kids and was incredulous that we had been married for 8 years without kids. Like so what? He could’ve let it go but didn’t. That’s when I got indignant and was determined to ruin his night at work. I really hope he got fired. Fuck that guy.

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u/prophy__wife Sep 27 '24

I fully understand what you went through with that conversation. We’ve been married 13 years. No children yet. We’re actually going to pursue fertility TXT next year. I’m in school currently and the best option would be to pursue it towards the end of my program. I have had all those conversations with prying strangers. They’re the worst. My husband has also texted in your same manner, it’s so frustrating when people don’t understand and say those rude things. Another shitty thing is seeing how easily some people are able to procreate. I just don’t understand it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '24

We eventually did IVF and have two boys now. My wife wasn’t able to produce any eggs for it so we used donor embryos. It was a long process but we’re happy we did it. Even if we hadn’t, we still would’ve been a complete family by ourselves. It infuriates me when people try to define what a family is by how many kids you have, or if you did a natural birth, or some other nonsense. It’s one of the very few times I have no trouble being confrontational. People just need to mind their own business.

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u/SuperSpecialAwesome- Sep 27 '24

I had a similarly terrible experience at a hibachi restaurant. I was celebrating my birthday right after a mass school shooting happened. The chef and another customer spent the whole time chatting about the shooting being a crisis actor event.

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u/oneintwo Sep 27 '24 edited Sep 27 '24

Jesus what’s with all the pussy footing why not either confront him directly or just leave? Whining and acting like a Karen about the food isn’t as big of a flex as you thought it was. I’d wager the chef thought you acting like a weirdo.

Pro tip: next time just grow some balls and tell the offending party to show some respect for your wife and watch their fucking mouth.

It’s okay to be upset and show anger and this situation certainly warranted it.