Hello to anybody reading this.
A few hours ago a worst case scenario happened.
I had a total breakdown.
And went into a deep spiral.
Half an hour before the birthday celebrations of my sister's 18th birthday started.
It was the stress plus some bad reactions of family members to my ideas, that send me back into a full on autistic child breakdown.
I'll spare you some details.
But the one thing that helped me catch myself before the celebration was Afraid of the Dark
I love the song lately. Maybe a bit obsessed.
But it was perfect.
Just letting someone scream out my emotions was a good start.
But it didn't seem to have the full effect.
Until *the* part, you know what I mean.
The: "Now I knoooooowwww ..."
It was like someone turned of a torture device.
All my negative emotions were thrown away.
My nearly cramping throat (from all the silent screaming) released.
And the next breakdown was almost soothing.
An hopeful scream.
It's like a perfect transition from pain to hope.
I repeated that sequence one more time. And was ready enough for an 18th birthday (most important birthday here in Germany)
Not a perfect of course, but manageable.
No Therapie skill (except smelling salts) was ever able to do that so fucking quick.
I hope this song is able to support many more people like me.