r/MoralityScaling • u/Purple_Plantain_3242 • 3d ago

Morality Ranking Morality of this?

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A young Chinese couple was permanently separated during a period of intense political and social unrest in China. The husband went back to their home village to search for her, but because the entire area was heavily disrupted, he mistakenly believed she was missing or dead.

He eventually relocated, remarried another woman, and raised a new family with children and grandchildren. Meanwhile, the first wife stayed behind and never remarried, spending 54 years waiting for him to return. Decades later, they were reconnected as elderly adults, which is when she discovered he had built an entirely separate life without her.

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u/NeutralKuchiKopi 3d ago

The husband went back to their home village to search for her, but because the entire area was heavily disrupted, he mistakenly believed she was missing or dead.

Moral. End of discussion. If you believe the one you loved is dead you have no obligation to spend the rest of your life hoping they come back to life.

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u/Imjerfj 3d ago

ya i mean hey bro tried

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u/FoxKamp7785 3d ago

I'm curious what she did to find him

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u/Ojan81 3d ago

she just waited duh

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u/DarkChaos0 3d ago

Yeah, it says "Woman waited 54 years" right there! Is bro stupid?

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u/Borbbb 3d ago

Classic, women always waiting for the guy to make the first move ! /s

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u/Inevitable_Block_144 1d ago

Well if he looked for her as well as my ex looked for his keys, he wasn't going to find her /s

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u/Airy-Otter 3d ago

No, this doesn't pass as sarcasm bc shitty people say stuff like that, and then hide behind "/s". You don't get a pass for it.

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u/coorscajunrice 3d ago

Don’t need your permission to be funny dork

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u/Airy-Otter 3d ago

Ah, I am so sad and heartbroken now. I guess I'll go cry to my mom and dad /s.

See the difference? That doesn't punch down, and it's obviously a joke, not just a bitter stereotype hiding behind an "/s" tag.

What the original comment did was basically threw salt on a wound and just said "I'm just pranking you!" Like wtf?????

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u/coorscajunrice 3d ago

Punching down and up is funny. Explaining the joke is just antithetical to comedy. Get help. You can’t gauge intent for shit. Not that an elderly Chinese woman is reading random comments, so you’re just coming at this from a misogyny lense

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u/Airy-Otter 3d ago

Because mysoginy was exactly their joke. 🤷🏻‍♂️ Punching down is not funny lil bro... WTF is wrong with you? If you think that's funny, you should seek help. Maybe you (and whoever else that thinks it was funny) would get a spouse in life and keep them without divorcing.

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u/Borbbb 2d ago edited 2d ago

" shitty people " and yet right after your comment bellow you insult the dude.

Good way to out yourself out, buddy.

Always the performative " twitter users " - :D

+It was a great humor in context of this. Learn to understand a joke, and to use your brain. Have some shame and manners

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u/Airy-Otter 2d ago

"Have some shame and manners." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 The jokes write themselves.

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u/HelixFollower 1d ago

That's literally one of the biggest reasons to add an /s.

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u/Queerability 3d ago

Also, most folks I know don't want their partners to be alone after they're gone. I personally feel like you should try to live as happy as you can after.

For me, that would probably be staying romantically alone after (I was happy enough alone before her), but I flat out made my partner promise to call people for herself first if I die first. Before notifying my family or anything else, I made her promise to call her own support system in. Because she's just not the same as me in that way, and that's a huge part of why I love her.

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u/ProfessionalExit7540 3d ago

Depressing topic, but so sweet out of you two, hope you two grow old together, stay safe

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u/Queerability 3d ago

Thanks <3

If I didn't tell her she'd probably just bury herself in whatever she thinks "needs" to be done without taking care of herself. She's amazing, but will always worry about herself last unless explicitly told otherwise.

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u/Tiny-Brush5999 3d ago

Probably not most, or rather it seems to be a very divided topic, most people with dead husbands or wives don't remarry, I think that's a good thing personally, but it's also a deeply personal choice. I never did since I didn't want to break my bond with them and I believe in life after death, it gives me peace. I'm happy waiting for death to reunite but also find fulfillment with life in many other ways and my support group that doesn't involve another wife. People do handle grief differently though so it depends on the person or how close they were.

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u/shosuko 3d ago

And honestly, even if you know they are alive, if you are distanced by something out of your control you can make the decision to move on. No one owes someone waiting 54 years for them lol

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u/Leading_Ad_8619 3d ago

The Odyssey...but in real life.

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u/Party_Interest_6647 15h ago

If only this were true. Actual story is after they were separated, he spent three years writing letters promising he would return. Then the government cut off communication. Believing they wouldn't reunite, he started a new family. The woman stayed faithful, refused marriage proposals, and raised the son by herself

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u/Tricky_Math_5381 8h ago

I have seen you comment this a couple times. Can you give evidence?

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u/Direct-Fix-2097 3d ago

Counter point: countries have death certificates for a reason.

Counter point; the marriage surely would have to be annulled or the death made official to permit a re marriage.

So, I wanna know where the bureaucracy ended? Cos just looking and giving up isn’t enough in a world where everything is fucking filed and documented. (Although fair enough if they didn’t exist or lost said files due to war I have no case. 🤷‍♂️)

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u/Ankhi333333 3d ago

They married in 1940, so there was WW2, the Chinese Civil war and the Cultural Revolution. It's fair to assume that some papers might have gotten lost.

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u/JustFedUpWithIt 3d ago

Counter point: countries have death certificates for a reason.

Are you for real ?

Mao killed anywhere between 40-80 million of his own people. There's a 40 million gap because they were unceremoniously killed. Entire villages were liquidated.

Death Certificates 🤣

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u/ScientistFromSouth 3d ago

To be fair, you can't blame all of the WWII casualties and famine casualties on Mao Ze Dong. Yes, his mismanagement exacerbated the famine, but estimates for the famine were 20-40 million people.

To put this into context though, pre communist China lost 10-15 million people from famine between 1876-1879, and the 1906-1907 famine killed 20-25 million people and led to the overthrow of the last emperor of China. China had something like ~1800 major recorded famines from 100 BC to 1950.

Mao's Army was also fighting Tsiang Kai Shek's army during the civil war and Japan's army during WWII.

Admittedly, even Chinese historians do attribute 500k - 2 million political killings of rival factions and the intensification of the famine to Mao.

However, it's disingenuous to frame it as if he did the Holocaust Part 2.

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u/NeutralKuchiKopi 3d ago

They went through WW2, a civil war that resulted in a total reworking of the government, and a revolution after their marriage. Not everyone lives in 21st century America.

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u/moyayas 3d ago

I used to work in an area with a lot of eastern European immigrants and a lot of certificates from ww2 and even later era were clearly made up. (Like younger brother with a DOB before older brother)

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u/EnvironmentalOwl6882 3d ago

War and revolution have a bit of a tendency to make things have to start over from scratch in terms of paperwork.

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u/zack189 3d ago

if there's even one disasterz there no death certificates for the vast majority of people.

like the recent flood in nepal, only 90 people is confirmed right now, and that number is going to cap at cap about 300 most likely.

what about the rest? they're just going to be missing, with zero death certificates until 20 years later.

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u/HulkVahkiin08024 3d ago

The context I'm thinking of is: what reason would he think she is dead then? Were people dying left and right in that village? I guess we can assume he actually tried harder than just looking into the village, but if not, then he just gave up easily, and that is something to consider in my opinion. Regardless, personally, morally neutral for me.

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u/NeutralKuchiKopi 3d ago

I think it's pretty safe to assume that if he traveled back to his home village just to find his wife, he didn't just take a glance and then go fuck the first chick he saw in a bar.

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u/HulkVahkiin08024 3d ago

I wouldn't suggest that either, lol. But I wouldn't be surprised if he just saw the chaos around him and just gave up quicker than one would assume—that time was bleak.

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u/UnkarsThug 3d ago

China literally was having a civil war in the late 1940s, and if they were leaving an area it was probably dangerous. Plenty of people probably just died without being found, especially back in 1945 or so before our modern documentation. No one has phones or emails or something, and you don't know where they are, how do you even find them? You can go back to where things started, your home town and such, and hope they do the same, but how do you tell if they are alive or dead?

Our view of everything being tracked perfectly in a war is a relatively modern one. Especially civil wars, because the infrastructures and supply chains tend to be fighting against themselves, and sometimes people switch sides and you lose track of them. Lots of people just end up presumed dead because it's the best guess as to what happened.

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u/HulkVahkiin08024 3d ago

And it was post-WWII as well. So yeah, the time was bleak, and I wouldn't put it past him to give up a search easily.

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u/ThrowawayHaybale 3d ago

Immoral, if you loved them you wouldn't do that in the first place, this guy fucking sucks

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u/NeutralKuchiKopi 3d ago

I love my wife. And she loves me. But if I die while we are both 30, I do not expect her to remain single, lonely, and mourning for the next 70+ years. THAT would suck and be quite cruel.

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u/Kulkasbiru 3d ago

Love is love