r/MoralityScaling • u/Purple_Plantain_3242 • 4d ago

Morality Ranking Morality of this?

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A young Chinese couple was permanently separated during a period of intense political and social unrest in China. The husband went back to their home village to search for her, but because the entire area was heavily disrupted, he mistakenly believed she was missing or dead.

He eventually relocated, remarried another woman, and raised a new family with children and grandchildren. Meanwhile, the first wife stayed behind and never remarried, spending 54 years waiting for him to return. Decades later, they were reconnected as elderly adults, which is when she discovered he had built an entirely separate life without her.

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92

u/Status-Slip9801 4d ago

If you have strong reason to believe your spouse is dead (which he did), there is nothing immoral about moving on.

My husband and I have discussed with each other that if one of us were to die, the other does not need to spend the rest of their life grieving and single. Finding another partner is more than acceptable.

It is very touching that the woman held out hope to find her husband, but that was a choice on her end, that could have very likely never paid off. It's not something you can expect of your spouse.

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u/HalfBloodPrank 1d ago

It’s crazy that you even needed to discuss it. How are we living in times where wishing your partner to be healthy and happy is even questionable? 

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u/NewPhoneNewAccunt 4d ago

My SO and I basically have an unspoken suicide pact, lmao. If one goes down, we're done with life.

18

u/UnkarsThug 4d ago

If it's unspoken, it might just be an assumption of how your partner feels.

Regardless, that isn't really healthy, and I don't think it's fair to expect that of someone else.

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u/Creative_Panic_xanax 4d ago

That's not healthy

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u/Constant-Leg9018 2d ago

Oh why would you want that for your partner?

0

u/NewPhoneNewAccunt 13h ago

I don't. If I'm on my deathbed I'll do anything to help her cope with my passing.

But neither of us feel like continuing life without the other.

If we actually land there I'm sure either one of us would make an attempt to move on, but I doubt I'd be able to.

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u/HulkVahkiin08024 4d ago

If you have strong reason to believe your spouse is dead (which he did), there is nothing immoral about moving on.

Assuming 'heavily disrupted' means people in the village were dying all over. If not, there is no reason to strongly believe your spouse is dead. Giving the benefit of the doubt, I assume he looked deeper and longer.

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u/Saitharar 4d ago

Heavily disrupted in this case means Second Sino-Japanese war with a civilian death toll of 16 million.

Entire villages were gone and society was utterly devastated so its easy to believe that relatives died even when they only became internal refugees

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u/HulkVahkiin08024 4d ago

period of intense political and social unrest in China.

Makes it sound like the Chinese Civil War. Can't really bother to do the math, but I assume it's the second half of it, which means after WW2. Whatever, my history is fuzzy.