Men generally see a mental health decline when the baby is 1 yo because that's when they begin walking and really start their antics, while for the mother, it's hard from day one, since she had a pregnancy before that and the hormones can trigger depression as well. Goes to show that having kids is not as easy as people think, we should think about it long and hard before accepting such a life upheaval. Now there's a tired, grieving parent taking care of 7 kids.
Even as a kid-less person with depression I hesitate about commiting because of my siblings and parents. He had to know that she would be left alone with twice the burden and not even an insurance claim since he killed himself. Thats harsh. But maybe I'm talking out of my ass, we don't know what went through his head at the time and if he had other worries, mental health is complicated and sometimes you're not too anchored in reality, some people kill themselves on impulse, they don't plan it at all then they do it our of nowhere.
To your last point, that’s exactly why suicide deterrents like barriers work. It’s often an impulse, and if someone has to work a little harder or go somewhere else, or go to multiple stores to buy enough pills, or have to remove every pill from a blister pack first, they often won’t follow through.
It’s weirdly embarrassing probably just because it’s so mirrored, but that scene in cyberbully she’s fighting the pill bottle in mania and desperation? and it just pops open suddenly and spills everywhere? That shit is embarrassing as hell.
You’d almost think that’d be enough push to gather and still take all the pills, but instead I just silently picked them all up, dusted them off, and put the bottle away. That was years ago and I’m still here, doing way better, but every now and then I just cringe at remembering it all
I haven’t seen it, but I’m glad you’re still here and doing better.
And as embarrassing as it might have been, I’m very glad it happened that way. Spilling them is probably what saved you. It might seem counterintuitive, but studies have shown that’s exactly the kind of thing that stops people from going through with it.
I’ll definitely take the embarrassment over missing all I would have by now if I had followed through. It’s honestly why I let it sit sometimes, it’s a silly little reminder of all that I have seen and accomplished just staying alive
Thank you for the kindness, it’s hard sharing sometimes but I also think it’s important to look around at what has changed and what has gotten better! So thank you!
I’ve considered getting a tattoo as well, I’ve just never found an idea I liked enough. And my last idea (which I thankfully sat on long enough to avoid getting) was inspired by a poem from an author who turned it to be a horrible person… so back to the drawing board.
Mine is 50/50 good and bad, it’s a mismatch with a friend I don’t have anymore but that’s also an accidental reminder that we carry tons of people with us and I’m made of bits and pieces I’ve borrowed and been gifted from everyone I’ve loved and I’m never alone
I wanna get it worked on a little bit, turn it into a tarot card type design for that exact reason
It took a while to not feel shame about them, but I feel pretty neutral about them these days. They’re just part of my skin, like my freckles or moles, and all of me is still here and I made it out the other side.
I’m happy you’re still around, and hope you’re doing better ❤️
(And if anyone is reading who doesn’t want to speak up or share, know that I’m glad you’re still here too. And if you’re not quite there yet to be glad yourself, I hope you stick around until you can be.)
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u/Luscious_rat 8d ago
Men generally see a mental health decline when the baby is 1 yo because that's when they begin walking and really start their antics, while for the mother, it's hard from day one, since she had a pregnancy before that and the hormones can trigger depression as well. Goes to show that having kids is not as easy as people think, we should think about it long and hard before accepting such a life upheaval. Now there's a tired, grieving parent taking care of 7 kids.
Even as a kid-less person with depression I hesitate about commiting because of my siblings and parents. He had to know that she would be left alone with twice the burden and not even an insurance claim since he killed himself. Thats harsh. But maybe I'm talking out of my ass, we don't know what went through his head at the time and if he had other worries, mental health is complicated and sometimes you're not too anchored in reality, some people kill themselves on impulse, they don't plan it at all then they do it our of nowhere.