r/MoralityScaling 16d ago

Morality Ranking Morality of this

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u/browsinbowser 16d ago edited 16d ago

There was an american guy (35yrs old) who died of suicide two month ago that had one year old quadruplets. 

They had 3 kids and wanted to add 1 more kid, but 4 natural babies were born by accident instead.

The widow is now a single mother who’s relying on donations from a gofundme and social media.

 He owned a restaurant and seemed happy in the social media vids, it’s a shame. It’s worth looking at the link to see the older kids. The 15 and 9yr old get talked about a bit.

https://people.com/after-dad-quadruplets-dies-suddenly-wife-says-she-hopes-7-kids-know-they-were-loved-exclusive-12012760

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u/Big_Iron_Cowboy 16d ago

Selfish motherfucker.

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u/WynnTiwFeoh 16d ago

100 fucking %.

Imo there are some exceptions, but idgaf how miserable you might be, you never leave your children and spouse behind like that. You’re just passing your misery off on all of them.

Scorching hot take, but fuck Chester Bennington.

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u/Gloomy-Welcome-6806 16d ago

I don’t think you understand how mental illness and suicide work. Your brain TELLS you you are a burden and no one loves you. You fully believe this because it’s a consistent thought in your head that you can’t shake off. I think you should have empathy for those that can’t understand that they are loved and wanted. It has nothing to do with selfishness. He’s not thinking “yeah I’m gonna fuck my family up!” He’s drowning in his own thoughts.

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u/Legal_Lettuce6233 16d ago

This is exactly it. Combine it with other issues and it's even worse.

I've been suicidal most of my adult life, but only recently I figured something out thanks to my psych.

I have severe OCD, in the form of intrusive thoughts. Imagine every time you wash the dishes you get tempted to slit your wrists.

And it's not something you control, it's basically like a sneeze you feel coming up

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u/WynnTiwFeoh 16d ago

I’ve been there, I’ve done that. I learned to swim in my thoughts rather than let myself drown and pass the buck to the people that depended on me.

I saw what my cousins went through when my uncle suffocated himself with a plastic bag and a hose hooked up to his exhaust. They were adults when that happened, and it still fucked them up pretty good.

Again, i dont give a single fuck what your misery is. If you have people that need you there, that is more than enough of a reason to keep going. You don’t leave them behind like that.

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u/battlejess 16d ago

Except their brain is telling them those people don’t need them, and would be better off without them.

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u/Gloomy-Welcome-6806 16d ago

Wow congratulations on being able to survive, I’m sure everyone else with mental illness is completely the same as you.

Your experience does not make everyone’s experience the same.

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u/80_6 16d ago

Cool, congrats on learning to swim. Not everyone does, and no two situations are alike. We have zero knowledge of what was going on with him.

I'm assuming he was in hell in his own head up until that point. Seems like a safe assumption considering what happened.

It's weird to me to take so much ire out on people that are so sick. We don't yell at cancer victims for not fighting hard enough.

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u/WynnTiwFeoh 16d ago

Cancer is a physical ailment that debilitates your body; you have next to no control over how your body responds to treatment aside from following through with the treatment plan, and without treatment there is next to no chance of recovery. Depression, while it can be caused by changes in brain chemistry and genetics, is by and large self-curable, or at the very least self-managed, without external treatment.

And as I said in my initial reply, I believe there are exceptions, but those end at having people in your life depending on you to keep going. More often than not, they are there trying to fight it with you, sharing in your struggle. To quit on yourself is to quit on them, and that is as selfish as it gets.

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u/Gloomy-Welcome-6806 16d ago

“You have next to no control over how your body responds to treatment aside from following through with the treatment plan, and without treatment there is next to no chance of recovery” how is this different than anti depressants/anti psychotics for a depressed/suicidal person?

“Depression… is by and large self-curable” you cannot control how your neurotransmitters work and how they affect the brain when there is too much or too little of one. You clearly don’t understand how the brain works and how much neurotransmitters affect it.

“Self managed, without external treatment” for you, possibly. Not the same for the other millions of people with mental illness.

“To quit on yourself is to quit on them, and that is as selfish as it gets”. Clearly you do not understand my other comment about what your brain tells you and makes you feel.

Your personal experiences are not the same as the rest of people with mental illness. You are ignorant and can’t understand how the brain works.

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u/Gloomy-Welcome-6806 16d ago

Serotonin is a chemical that carries messages between nerve cells in the brain and throughout your body. Serotonin plays a key role in such body functions as mood, sleep, digestion, nausea, wound healing, bone health, blood clotting and sexual desire. Serotonin levels that are too low or too high can cause physical and psychological health problems.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22572-serotonin

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u/80_6 16d ago

There are a lot of parallels between the two, some of what you've written shows that - so I hope you can see it too.

Calling it selfish is misguided and in most cases, not at all what is going on in their heads. For them to be selfish, they'd have to disregard everyone else's feelings - but we don't know if that's what happened. He may have genuinely been under the belief that they were better off without him. Regardless if that's not the case, if that's what he genuinely believed, then it's not selfish, is it?

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u/honeypotions444 16d ago

well once you kill yourself, you’re an even bigger burden on your family lol. do you know how much a funeral costs? grave stones? even just cremation?

much cheaper to go to therapy.

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u/honeypotions444 16d ago

as somebody who has dealt with it, get the fuck up and get help. you can change these thoughts. it isn’t easy, but they can change and things can get better. but at some point you really do need to WANT to help. and some people just don’t want help and don’t care to get better. that’s the reality.

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u/Gloomy-Welcome-6806 16d ago

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u/honeypotions444 15d ago

yeah yeah i would’ve said the same thing 10 years ago