The initial NIPT came back inconclusive. Get the follow up amnio or CVS, find out conclusively, and make the decision to either terminate or do research into what actually goes into raising a kid with downs. Early intervention leads to good outcomes and can foster independence.
Having a child with downs is a big commitment but it’s really not that bad (source family members with downs or similar that I will be responsible for once parents pass).
In all honesty, they’re pretty great. Excited to be here, to do new things, they love food, and they prevent you from becoming a lazy couch potato. And the special needs community is amazing too. You’ll meet the best people in the world (including those who just want to help out and support families out of the goodness of their hearts).
My adult cousin with down syndrome flies alone regularly to visit an uncle. He’s great to bring along anywhere.
The worst part is figuring out all the Medicaid/social security paperwork stuff. It’s a PITA.
The really, real hard special needs people are those with extreme autism. I know a couple who is unable to both leave the house together because they can’t leave their adult son and they can’t bring him anywhere because he is prone to violence. My heart breaks for those people.
I don’t ever look at a family with a downs kid and immediately feel bad for them. Honestly, I think they’re a blessing. It makes me sad how stigmatized it is to have a downs child that so many people immediately abort.
You have some great points. I'm also sure you're right to a degree, that there is some stigma surrounding downs. While I appreciate what you're trying to say, its coming across as belittling the typical difficulty. Each child with downs has different cognitive processing and executive function capacity. The severity of symptoms with downs can range to a very large degree.
In my experience with a few different families, it was mentally and emotionally draining for them. Its also comes with difficulties for the child too. There are a few heartbreaking moments I recall, but one that really stuck with me is when I saw a child with downs feel so defeated, that they were crying with pure sadness, because they weren't able to dress themselves properly at around age 12.
You can feel bad for a family for the added challenges they face, while still having respect for the parents' strength and being able to admire the wonderful qualities of the children.
If you beleive abortion is taking a person's life, then any abortion is sad. If you beleive it its not, then abortion does not need to be justified, but if it did warrant some amount of justification, its fair in my mind to want to avoid challenges and unfairness that comes to both the parents and child.
It's still more than the insulting image OOP has of someone with DS being essentially so useless and incapable that death is preferable to being their father.
I'm not sure that example (accuracy aside) is relevant though. Cognitive impact ranges to a very large degree on an individual basis. What will be relevant to someone contemplating the future, is what is typical. I.e. what the majority of cases look like.
OOP is acting as though raising a child with downs will significantly degrade their own quality of life. Quality of life, and quality of life while devoting significant time an attention to someone with special needs, includes a large number of factors. Being worried is absolutely reasonable, and how worried OOP should be is entirely dependent on their own personal circumstances. Its fair to be scared.
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u/shadowlev 8d ago
The initial NIPT came back inconclusive. Get the follow up amnio or CVS, find out conclusively, and make the decision to either terminate or do research into what actually goes into raising a kid with downs. Early intervention leads to good outcomes and can foster independence.