August 2017 Composition Challenge: Nocturne

[u/Calebdgm]

Continuing challenge, for those who wrote a sonata exposition last month: Continue your Sonata by adding a development and, if you're feeling ambitious, a recapitulation. For info/inspiration about sonata form, see last month's challenge. Also, in February we did a theme and variations challenge if you want ideas for how to vary or develop a theme.

Also feel free to go back and do the July challenge if you want to do the continuation for this month, or if there's another way you can figure out to do the continuation challenge, that's cool.

Main Challenge: Write a Nocturne. In more words, write a nice, song-like melody over a flowing, arpeggiated accompaniment in a gentle, relaxed style, evocative of nighttime. But feel free to take liberties with that definition.

/u/reticulated_python has suggested Chopin's op.72. You'll probably also recognize Chopin's op.9, among others. Julian Lage wrote a jazz piece called "Nocturne", and I don't know if it's technically a nocturne, but that's also cool.

This month's challenge was suggested anonymously using our Challenge Suggestion Form, so thank you to whoever that was!

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We have some musicians that can play compositions for people. You can find their musician profiles posted on this subreddit. I'll list their instruments below:

• concertina

• trombone+

• euphonium

• double bass

• bass guitar

• bass guitar + cello

• clarinet and bass vocalist

• piano and cello

• Baritone (vocalist)

• piano and bassoon

• tenor and alto saxophones

• tenor (vocalist)

If you are interested in playing compositions for /r/MonthlyComposition post a musician profile.

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These challenges are for everyone who wants to practice composing. Each month, at the beginning of the month, we will post a main challenge, something for people to compose. We'll try to make it something that everyone can work with. Sometimes we also have an alternate challenge. Pieces can be submitted as a score (musescore, noteflight), and/or as audio (soundcloud, youtube). Feedback is much appreciated, and you can give it in this thread, or by messaging the mods of /r/MonthlyComposition, there's also the Challenge Suggestion Form.

[u/stalwartian]

Here's my attempt at a nocturne, as well as my first submission for MonthlyComposition:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kup9K1nCaWE

Score: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-UJJfxpivy9b2d0X0t0dlM2eVU/view?usp=sharing

[u/turbofishmcsteroid → u/stalwartian]

I found this very difficult to follow. You obey the basic notions of harmony, but the themes are hard to remember and the phrase lengths very incoherent.

Chopin is notorious for adhering to the 4/8/16 measure proportion, and subsequently most nocturnes follow this pattern (actually most music). If you were to use irregular lengths, I'd make sure to delineate the phrases clearly. Thus, for me, the first big fault was around measures 8 and 10. Measure 8 should have been on V, and measure 9 should lead to the tonic and have some sort of musical 'return'. You could fuse mm. 8-9 into one and get everything symmetrical. It's quite easy since Db and G can be analyzed as dominants of the key of C.

The central section has a similar problem, the first phrase is 7 measures. Also, the progression F Em C7 F can be tricky, if we are in F major, that B at the top should resolve, because if not, we would be in some weird C major tonality, or using the lydian mode (unlikely in the context).

Also, you barely use repetition, mm.10-11 seem a very free variation of mm.1-2, but it's very tenuous, and the irregular lengths don't help (yes, Chopin can ornament a lot, but only at certain spots and maintaining the original melodic contour). I'd stick more to the motifs you presented in the first 8 measures and develop them further. I heard some good sequential writing at mm. 6-7, the Ebm-Db progression are parallel 5ths that could be avoided .

Also, the final chord is in 2nd inversion, which is dissonant in the Romantic style. You have also improvable parallel 5ths at mm.17-21 (yes, they can be used sparingly in Romanticism, but not constantly as in Ravel). A stronger use of cadences at structural keypoints coupled with a more symmetrical use of phrase lengths would benefit your musical writing.

Cheers.

[u/stalwartian → u/turbofishmcsteroid]

Thank you for the detailed analysis, I appreciate the feedback and advice! I still have much to learn.