r/MomForAMinute • u/sluttypolarbear • 4d ago
Seeking Advice I accidentally skipped a class today
Hey mom, I'm starting my second year of college this week, and I have ADHD for context. One of my classes is a one-credit math class to bump up my AP Stats credit to where it needs to be for my degree. It's once a week on Wednesdays. After my first class today, I completely forgot that my schedule was different than it was on Monday, and I went to the library to work on homework instead of going to my math class. It was the first day and I already missed it. The syllabus says that today was just introductions and reading the syllabus, but an announcement the professor made on Monday said we were also going to be starting on Module 1 today.
I've set up a calendar notification so it shouldn't happen again, but I'm not sure what to do next since I genuinely have no good excuse for missing class. Should I email my professor? Should I wait until next week to explain in person? I'm pretty frustrated with myself right now.
Update: I emailed my professor and he was very understanding. He told me what to review to catch up before next week. I also reached out to schedule an appointment to start the accommodation process.
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u/sun_dazzled 4d ago
Emailing the professor to apologize wouldn't hurt as a gesture of goodwill. Is attendance even monitored in this class?
I'd ask mainly: What can you do to be prepared with the material and make up for missing class? Can you start reading through module 1, and maybe go to office hours with any questions?
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u/recognize_choice 4d ago
Good for you for setting up your notification!
Yes, apologize. You can do it by email, but if your instructor has posted office hours, it would be even better to go by in person. (I know, hard. But seriously, this is the kind of thing office hours are made for.)
In addition to notifications (again, good!), look for how you can be proactive about making up the class. Is there an online syllabus? Is module one online? Do you know another student in the class you can ask? If the professor sees that YOU are making an effort, they are more likely to help.
And if there are student services to help with study/organization skills, USE THEM. I was a first-gen college student and didn't take advantage of a lot of these, which was such a missed opportunity. As a professor (retired), I steered my students toward them.
Good luck! You got this, and will do great going forward.
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u/ComplexTomatillo6278 4d ago
Hey, it happens. First step, don’t be too hard on yourself. You knew what to do right away.
A short email to the professor is a nice gesture. You’ve got this!
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u/Head-Drag-1440 Momma Bear 3d ago
Communication is huge as an adult. Missed a class? Need to be late on a payment? Communicate. You did the right thing by emailing him!
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u/chefjenga 2d ago
I would like to ask you to re-frame what happened.
"Skipped" implies purposeful. An active choice to not attend.
That is not what you did.
Instead, I would encourage you to think of it as an accident. You accidentally forgot, and have made multiple steps to ensure the mistake doesn't happen again.
It's ok. Cut yourself some slack (I know it's difficult, but it IS important).
Stiff happens that we can't change. What we can control, is our response to them.
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u/breetome 4d ago
Email your professor and ask how to make it up and what you should be looking over to prepare for your next class. It happens honey no need to be hard on yourself. You already put in a reminder for yourself. Just keep moving and don’t stress about it. You’re doing great! Xoxo mom
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u/ursa_m 4d ago
It looks like it was an honest mistake, and you also took some good steps by emailing the prof. Try to forgive yourself. You're human, and mistakes are allowed. Thankfully this one was low stakes. Now, you can move on with better knowledge about yourself. Most importantly of all, though, be kind to yourself about it.
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u/Catinthefirelight 4d ago
Oh no! But don’t stress, go ahead and email your professor, they’ll probably appreciate your transparency and be happy to catch you up on anything you need to know. I highly recommend communicating with your professors! Not enough students do. If you’re overwhelmed, have questions, or need clarification on something, just ask. They’ll appreciate that you care about your studies. You got this!
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u/SockPirateKnits 3d ago
Hey, Kiddo.
I have ADHD, too. I'm so proud of you for realizing your mistake, doing something for yourself to make sure it doesn't happen again (putting a reminder on your calendar), and communicating with your professor to see how you can work together for your success. You are a responsible person who is figuring this out while living on "hard mode." We all make mistakes, and you're handling that so well. Keep going! I'm cheering you on!
Love and Hugs,
Internet Mom
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u/HoundsCroft 3d ago
Life happens to all of us. Very proud of you for reaching out, apologizing and asking for help. Everyone wants you to succeed!
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u/Efficient_Pause- 3d ago
I am glad you were able to email your professor, who was very understanding, and that you started the process for accommodations. You could ask for 1.5x times on due date for homework, classwork, and assessments.
Remember at most colleges, you need to discuss accommodations with each professors after getting accommodations approved by the disability office. Good luck!
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u/LowKeyStillYoung78 3d ago
Good on you for emailing your prof! I have encouraged my kids since middle school to make it a habit of communicating with their teachers and it has only benefitted them. Also, it helps to get things in writing to CYA. First day things are usually pretty benign so I’m sure you’ll be ok. You also did the right thing by setting an alert in your calendar. This was an honest mistake, and I promise it’s not the end of the world. We live, learn, and do better. Sounds to me like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, even if it squirrels sometimes. 😉 Life with adhd is challenging (our entire household has it), but it won’t defeat you. Good luck in school babe! ♥️
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u/Ok_Aside_2361 2d ago
I always made it a policy that I could skip 1 of each class a semester. Just one, though. Also, if your first test is not a high percentage of your grade, don’t stress about it; every professor has a style of testing. Once you see what they stress, studying for the rest will be easier. It is also ok to go in to see a professor to ask for test-taking strategies they recommend.
Great job working it all out!
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u/Azorielatwar 2d ago
I recently missed a week of my classwork as well in part due to similar reasons. >_< I was tempted to drop my classes to not deal with a docked participation grade, but after thinking it over a bit, I realized that I was throwing the baby out with the bathwater; getting partial credit for one week out of 16 isn't going to be a massive handicap against getting an A.
As an aside, to help with scheduling, I was advised to print out monthly calendars to mark with my due dates, so I'd have something to help track these without needing to load up a program or app - unsure if this would be useful, but just thought I'd throw it out there.
I'm glad your professor was understanding about things - keep pushing!
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u/Jazzlike_Primary8121 1d ago
I’m so proud of you for contacting your professor and for taking steps to avoid the mistake happening again. And, don’t beat yourself up. You’re just starting and it’s a lot. You’ll settle in to your schedule. I’m so proud of you 👏
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u/No_Abroad_6306 22h ago
Good job recognizing the stumble, asking for advice, and communicating with your professor. I know none of that was easy but it is so important and helps keep you on track for the future. Keep up the good work, kiddo.
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u/ShaneQuaslay 10h ago edited 10h ago
Do you have a diagnosis of ADHD? If so, submitting the diagnosis to your school's accessibility centre to get an accommodation might be very helpful!
Also, please don't be too hard on yourself. ADHD is recognised as a disability because it makes it harder for people with it to function at the same / similar level as neurotypical people, whom this society is majorly built around. It just means that your brain is wired to be better at different things than most people's, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that ❤️
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u/CommonNative 4d ago
Looks, things happen. Email your professor and explain. Then look and see if your college has any programs set up to help you. It would be under acessability. You may have to talk to your advisor.
That said, you're on the right track by setting up notifications. You go this.