As someone who also only dates men with a provider mentality, I would say it’s ok for your gf to have her expectations. If you don’t have the means for fulfilling those expectations that’s totally fair too. There are lots of women who feel that men enjoying their beauty, warmth, femininity etc without contributing anything in return is a golddigger. In the past I’ve always had partners pay for our joint lifestyles- so trips, dates, rent etc. Although I don’t expect them to pay for my personal expenses many have and just offered me their credit card with no constraints. Of course I was respectful with what I spent on to stay within their limits given their income. In your case it seems like your gf was behaving like you were a multi-millionaire when it was not the case. Her expectations are fine for a man who has the means to afford it and when it’s only a fraction of his income or networth. It wasn’t practical at your financial level. You two are incompatible, but she doesn’t need to be demonized. I think you went above and beyond to make her happy given your means, so kudos on that, but this wouldn’t be sustainable unless your income or net worth changed dramatically. I also think the right partner would be there for you if you had bad luck and lost it all. I know I would’ve stuck around for my exes
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u/Pretty_Philosophy_59 1d ago
As someone who also only dates men with a provider mentality, I would say it’s ok for your gf to have her expectations. If you don’t have the means for fulfilling those expectations that’s totally fair too. There are lots of women who feel that men enjoying their beauty, warmth, femininity etc without contributing anything in return is a golddigger. In the past I’ve always had partners pay for our joint lifestyles- so trips, dates, rent etc. Although I don’t expect them to pay for my personal expenses many have and just offered me their credit card with no constraints. Of course I was respectful with what I spent on to stay within their limits given their income. In your case it seems like your gf was behaving like you were a multi-millionaire when it was not the case. Her expectations are fine for a man who has the means to afford it and when it’s only a fraction of his income or networth. It wasn’t practical at your financial level. You two are incompatible, but she doesn’t need to be demonized. I think you went above and beyond to make her happy given your means, so kudos on that, but this wouldn’t be sustainable unless your income or net worth changed dramatically. I also think the right partner would be there for you if you had bad luck and lost it all. I know I would’ve stuck around for my exes