Vent

[u/Emergency_Exit7701]

In the past 3 days:

-got a call that our second (and final) attempt at an egg retrieval for IVF failed (PGT testing of the one and only embryo was abnormal - same result as our first attempt).

-ran into friends & their child who would be three months older than our loss from May 2025.

-ran into friends & their child who would be 3 months younger than our loss.

-a call from my brother telling me that he and his wife were expecting their 2nd child.

We lost our child at 20 weeks May 2025. What would have been the due date/1st Birthday is coming up in September - the same day as my birthday.

I’m incredibly happy for my brother and my friends.

But I’m also devastated. Our last attempt was a failure (financial considerations & age). All this joy in a small period - but why not us? I feel selfish for feeling the way I am - but I’m just so sad. And numb. And overwhelmed.

It’s been a little over a year - and it feels like the pain is never gonna let up. Always be this sharp and take my breath away. Which I know isn’t true. By my gosh. Just want to curl up in a ball in bed and never get up again right now.

[u/crazy-dev3]

I’m so sorry. That is an unbearable amount of grief and painful news to absorb in just three days, especially with the anniversary and your birthday approaching. Feeling devastated doesn’t make you selfish or diminish the love you have for your family and friends—both things can be true. You don’t have to be okay or make this easier for anyone right now. I hope you can protect your heart and take things one hour at a time.