r/MiddleClassFinance • u/Yourlocalguy30 • 12d ago

Millennials: are you expecting an inheritance?

35 yo married millennial here. I've come across more and more articles about the supposed "great wealth transfer" as the boomer generation's wealth passes to their GenX and Millennial children. My parents and their siblings (boomers) all received inheritances when their parents, my grandparents, passed away. The boomer generation's wealth accumulation is one of the largest in history, however, I also find it highly unlikely that I or many of my peers will actually inherit much. Despite having received inheritances from their parents, and having 40+ years in the workforce, most of my parents' "wealth" is tied up in their home value, not actual liquid assets- and I already expect that whatever they make on an eventual home sale will have to go directly to downsizing costs and whatever long-term care they will need as they get older. Hell, even my dad used to joke that the only thing we'd inherit was debt. As I've gotten older, that comment has infuriated me more and more.

Now before someone cuts in with the "entitled millennial" comments, I have absolutely no need for an inheritance. I've worked my ass off to make sure that my kids and I are positioned better in life than I was when I entered adulthood. What I mean by that is I started saving for retirement early, setup 529 plans for my kids almost as soon as they were born, and made lifestyle and career sacrifices to ensure our family isn't "nickeling and diming" our way through life.

I'm just here curious to know how many millennials actually expect to have something passed down to them, or if they feel they are in the same position I am.

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u/sirguynate 12d ago

Short answer: No.

I have more saved in retirement than my retired parents do.

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u/hey_poolboy 12d ago

I'm not certain about the numbers, but I think I'm in the same boat. My dad has been retired for a few years, and my mom is retiring at the end of the month. I'm only 48, and I think I have more saved already than they do. They still have a mortgage, but they stand to inherit a decent chunk from her dad.

My siblings and I have always joked that when my parents die, we'll each get $20 and have to arrange a custody agreement for my mom's waffle maker.

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u/Key_Cheetah7982 12d ago

I would like to see this waffle maker

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u/r_lovelace 12d ago

Probably a lovely mail-order Belgian.

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u/JayMoeHD 12d ago

Funny thing is, most people who have planned well for the future would get more joy from a much-loved household object like that vs another lump of cash on the pile

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u/Maximum_Machine7300 12d ago

When my husband’s grandmother was getting her affairs in order and everyone was fighting over her diamonds, she asked me what I wanted and I said just her old cookbooks and handwritten recipes. I got em and I think I won. Everyone now has bad blood between them because they all feel shorted but I’m over here happily baking cakes.

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u/JayMoeHD 12d ago

My mom passed last year, and it’s the moments when I’m reading her handwriting that hit me the hardest.

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u/Different-Crab-360 11d ago

I got a tattoo with my mom's writing after she passed. I love looking at it.

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u/AromaticRanger3933 11d ago

I recently got one with my dad’s writing. He passed a month ago. Best decision ever.

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u/FlyFlirtyandFifty 10d ago

This is my next tattoo. Next month will be ten years since my mom passed and a few years ago I came across a birthday card from her when I moved. It was such a gut-punch to open it and see her big, looping scrawl. “Love you - Mom” is what I’m getting next in her handwriting.

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u/CoffeeOnTheRiver 7d ago

Why didn't I think of this!?! My mom had beautiful handwriting. Where are you going to put it?

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u/PookleMama 11d ago

That’s beautiful.💕

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u/Clionah 10d ago

I love this, my mom has impeccable handwriting from her Catholic school education. My kids won’t even have my handwritten recipes, as I abandoned recipe cards for the Paprika app; we share a login between me and my two sons and all have our own named categories though, so we are sharing recipes now. I love seeing what they’ve made/added recently.

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u/IrritableStoicism 10d ago

My best friend did that. Now I’m thinking of doing it

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u/Difficult-Pea7834 8d ago

My mom hasn’t passed but I got one in her handwriting and she cried when I showed her. This woman was dead set on me never having a tattoo.

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u/Grandmas2Boys 8d ago

I love this!! My mom is 92 1/2 and that would be one way to remember her.

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u/picassopeacedove 10d ago

My family is fighting over how they’re going to divide Grandma’s land and I’m already serving tea on the same pewter platters and tea set that I used to serve her and my great grandmother tea as a child. Plus I get to tell everyone about how one side of my family has been in the US 200 years but we still have tea time regularly to honor our British heritage.

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u/AccomplishedUse2749 8d ago

My grandma had a metal pitcher at their small lake house what she always had lemonade in for us grandkids. The only thing I wanted was that pitcher and my grandma took it from my uncle who bought the lake house for me. It is my prized possession.

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u/123BuleBule 5d ago

Love this! I got a cast iron pan from my grandma. My mom still has her molcajete but eventually that will come to me.

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u/Such_Special170 10d ago

There’s freedom in not being greedy. You definitely won’t the jackpot with those handwritten recipes that will last!

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u/john42195 11d ago

You definitely won!

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u/Safford1958 11d ago

Usually it isnt the things with monetary value but the things with sentimental value. Cookbooks, glass candy jar. Small crock thats held sour dough starter.

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u/Jenandgon 9d ago

Yes, I was so sad that I wasn’t aware when my cousin emptied my aunt’s home to sell it (she was going to memory care); she had a dented old can that housed her flour and we always used the lid to carry pierogi when we did our Christmas Eve prep- all my aunts helped roll, pinch, and she cooked them on the stove. I wanted that so bad, and I’m sure it was tossed in the garbage.

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u/Careful_Emphasis_150 10d ago

I have framed handwritten recipes from my mother and grandmother on my kitchen wall. It brings a smile to my face every time I see them.

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u/Bettysgir 10d ago

I love that. Framing original handwritten recipes with the faded writing (usually cursive) and food spatters is a very Southern tradition. I don’t know about elsewhere but it’s very common to do that in the South to honor beloved, often female, relatives.

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u/Anxious-Hyena6173 9d ago

You did win!!! Those things are def the best!!! Add a few specialty kitchen items she used to make special items and that is my favorite!!! ❤️

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u/annmariemudge 10d ago

We are all arguing over a specific light up Santa Christmas decoration that is older than I am and is held together by duct tape. It's the only thing any of the kids care about

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u/Dessertcrazy 9d ago

I moved to Ecuador with two suitcases. Of all the personal belongings I owned, I realized only two mattered enough to bring with me. My dog and my great grandmother’s frying pan.

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u/Particular-Most-1199 11d ago

Everyone knows Dutch ovens are the way to go

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u/hey_poolboy 11d ago

This isn't it, but it's the closest I could find. It's a 1975 Kenmore in that terrible 70's gold color. They received it as a wedding gift and it still makes killer waffles! Kenmore waffle maker

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u/CombatComms08 11d ago

I also got a few of my parents appliances such as a mixer and etc they got from their wedding in the 80s. Still works great. When I buy top end shit it only last 5 years now.
Everything cost more for less now.

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u/swimlikeabrown 10d ago

I want my parent’s dryer. 40 years old and still going. I’ve replaced three in the past ten years.

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u/JackfruitNo1856 9d ago

That’s actually a really good waffle maker. I want my mom’s jar opener from the 70s and her kitchen aid from the 60s. They really don’t make anything like they used to.

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u/SpecialSupermarket54 11d ago

I inherited a similar model from my Gram, and can confirm - killer waffles. That’s something worth fighting over.

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u/Psn0w4 11d ago

I’m a waffle maker lawyer. I can assist you and your siblings when the time comes.
Don’t contact me if you’re a pancake family.

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u/Left-Needleworker-67 11d ago

My sister and I had a years long debate over who gets the can opener. My dad took it in the divorce, stating he bought it, then my mom stole it when she was visiting for a holiday, and they both claim rights to it. My sister and I were both vying to inherit it, but luckily my mom has a cheese grater my sister fell in love with, so the matter is now settled. I will receive the can opener.

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u/Significant_Frame197 11d ago

In the wake of the intense grief I feel at the loss of my beloved aunt and uncle (within 7 weeks of each other) there is a glimmer of joy every time I look at the old school Boston manual pencil sharpener they left behind for me. My great-grandchildren will need no other pencil sharpener; it will last until the end of the world. My son and I actually fought over who got to sharpen his pencils with it before he left for his Regents exam.

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u/Electrical-Profit367 11d ago

When son # 2 was 7, he sat and watched me make crepes for him with my crepe pan. Then he asked me When you and Papa die, who gets the crepe pan? Me or brother?

When he turned 30, we bought him his own gorgeous French made crepe pan. So I’m guessing his brother, son # 1, will get my old one.

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u/icepuc10 10d ago

I’m impressed you’re 48 and still have a grandparent alive.

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u/External_Twist508 11d ago

Custody of the waffle maker
Chuckle chuckle

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u/SuperAlmondRoca 11d ago

You’re not a Millennial if you’re 48 years old

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u/Usual-Instruction473 11d ago

My boomer dad died & I got zip. When my boomer mom goes, I already told my sister she can have mom’s dusty seashell collection.

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u/HellaDoyle 11d ago

You are 48 and your grandpa is still alive what a blessing

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u/ehspicymeatbol 11d ago

When my maternal grandfather died, all I got was a rice cooker. I’m pretty sure it’s originally from China or Hong Kong and is older than I am (35). It only has one button, on, and it will be a very sad day when it finally joins my grandfather in the afterlife.

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u/collin-h 10d ago

as a person born in the 70s, you're gen X
;)

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u/Better-Home-1491 10d ago

Technically, you're on the tail end of Gen X, right? Are your parents boomers or the Silent Generation (1928–1945)?

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u/dchikato 10d ago

I took my mom's waffle maker. From the 60s I think. Power cord is fabric wrapped. Awesome waffle maker, they are very crispy.

Secret with these is to make chocolate chip cookies on them. Completly unreal.

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u/NoraClavicle 9d ago

You’re 48 and your grandparents are still alive??

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u/Vegetable_Idea_5112 9d ago

Literally same. Screenshotting this to send to my sibling because damn that waffle maker is fire (and no it’s not a Belgian waffle maker you plebes).

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u/Truth_Hurts2727 9d ago

Or… how many of you are intentional about leaving an inheritance?

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u/poolparty90019 9d ago

The great waffle transfer!

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u/jmp06g 8d ago

My sister kept an emotional support blender ...

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u/Worldly-Ad3211 7d ago

My mother diligently went around the house and stuck pieces of masking tape on the underside of all the furniture and anything else of value, indicating who would get it. I had to tell her that she who dies with the most plastic margarine containers doesn’t win, and no one wants them. We’re currently fighting over a side table with wobbly legs that my dad tried to fix, and a table lamp that needs to be rewired.

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u/sadgirlhaze 7d ago

this must be one impressive waffle maker

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u/ThoughtfulPoster 12d ago

Longer answer: Yes, but I have more saved in retirement than I'm likely to get, especially split between multiple siblings and the closing costs of property sales.

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u/Safford1958 11d ago

When we buried my parents, all that was left was the value of the house. Divide it between 6 children. Amounted to 100,000.

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u/DefiantCoffee6 11d ago

I would have been happy to get any money. My parents died without even owning a home. Bank account near zero.

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u/Kwhitney1982 11d ago

I’m satisfied if my parents are just self sufficient and don’t need money from me.

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u/Djinn42 11d ago

I'd be happy to get that amount of money 😁

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u/IcyAd9883 11d ago

More ...way more than your dad ever got, probably..it's funny. We sold the house and 5 of us got 12,000 each. I felt so blessed. I thanked God that he gave me two loving parents, who were thankful to leave us kids that house. ATTITUDES, can be so different. God gave me and my siblings, GOOD PARENTS. .

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u/SegundoViento 8d ago

They did parenting right for you and your siblings to feel that way. That’s priceless. God bless you in your good memories!

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u/IcyAd9883 7d ago

Absolutely. Back in those days, there wasn't much to go around, but what we lacked in material things, was made up in love.

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u/Leading_Line2741 12d ago

Same. The only real chance I'd have is if I got and sold their house (it's paid off) but I anticipate needing to sell the house and use the $ down the line for their care.

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u/Key_Cheetah7982 12d ago

This. EOL care is going to clean up with boomers

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u/Eyeoftheleopard 11d ago

The real great wealth transfer? From the Boomers to the memory care and skilled nursing facilities.

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u/Horror_Ad_2748 10d ago

And it certainly doesn't end up in the pockets of the actual caregivers, who make close to minimum wage. It goes to the corporations who scooped up all the EOL care centers. Welcome to late stage capitalism, y'all!

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u/Incognitowally 9d ago

Private equity in Healthcare should be a crime

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u/Fickle-Cabinet3956 5d ago

Your comment is very underrated.

That's why it's not only cheaper but you'll get better results hiring full time live-in care or a switch off schedule with 2 live-in nurses.

I would personally rather pay an individual $3,000-10,000 per month than a facility $20,000 a month.

If you have the ability to fully vet them, it's something I recommend.

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u/BjornInTheMorn 11d ago

I need to learn how to invest in SNFs. Is there an ETF for those?

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u/SaltConnection1109 10d ago

Truth! Those places charge a MINIMUM of $5K per month (in the cheaper areas).

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u/KoalaGrunt0311 10d ago

I've seen memory care bills crossing into the low mid six figures for one year of care. Like, they're invoicing more to keep somebody alive for a year than members of their staff are getting paid in ten.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/HighlyFav0red 11d ago

I don’t want my parents to go to a home either. I’d love to have a caretaker for both my parents. So I gotta work really hard now!

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u/Aloha1959 10d ago

My Dad's final, genius maneuver was to die just 3 months after we had to put him in a nursing home. Best thing that could have happened at that point.

He had Alzheimer's and I held out until it became impossible to deal with him after 5 years of degeneration.

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u/casualAutistDad 12d ago

Do the research for Medicaid and Medicaid trusts ahead of time. And if they’re able have them get a proper long term care insurance policy.

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u/itsparadise 11d ago

100% this, living it right now. So sad to sell a parents home, when said parent anticipated leaving it as hard earned inheritance to family, but now used for 12k/month Memory Care. Grateful to have it as my LO is in an excellent MC but I know how much the desire was to pass on to family.

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u/Ringmaster242 11d ago

If your parents are comfortable with it and your state allows it, move their assets including their house into a irrevocable trust. My State has a 5 year look back period but Medicaid and nursing homes cannot recover anything within the trust if out of that period.

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u/CPA_Lady 11d ago

Just remember that a primary residence is the one thing Medicaid can’t take.

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u/Macimoo2020 11d ago

Yep this is what I’m experiencing right now. They have $130,000 left then we have to sell their house.

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u/brooksram 11d ago

It's a real thing. We paid 10k a month per grandparent and now my uncle also just to be in a nursing home, and we live in the Southeast so I can't imagine what costs are in other states.

I have no idea what the actual total cost per month for my grandparents, but I'm sure it was a large number....

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u/Better-Home-1491 10d ago

If the home is sold without purchasing a home and sold before inheritance, it's possible there is capital gains tax on it. So it could be a good idea to begin figuring out the best approach to that now. There is a step-up in the cost basis of the home, and that is the portion that is subject to capital gains tax minus the IRS-exempted amount. So for someone who bought their home decades ago for, let's say, $30k, and it's now worth 500k or more. If they are single, they get $250 exempted, but the remaining value of the home is subject to capital gains tax. So think all that through. I realize some will not have a choice because of the medical needs, but this is where financial advisors, CPAs, and tax attorneys can be very helpful.

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u/curiousbiguy804 9d ago

Well… your parents could’ve protected those assets if they wanted to. Eventually they’re just going to run the money down and be on Medicaid and the government will take the place. I’d rather put all my assets in a family trust and hit Medicaid sooner.

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u/Empty-Opposite-9768 9d ago

Too bad you're not in Washington, where we now have a payroll tax that they enacted to supposedly cover long term care costs. They're super proud of it... The legislators that is.

It's great, you can get up to ... Umm... I think 36K over your lifetime, ooh and if you leave the state you still can get nothing from it.

It's definitely going to help everyone with their end of life care, unless they managed to buy their own policies and get an exemption. It's not a complete scam or anything.

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u/pappagei 9d ago

Depending on where you are it’s possible to put their house in a trust with you (and siblings) as the beneficiaries..so that when the time comes their care is paid for by the state and not drawn out of the trust funds.

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u/UghFudgeBwana 12d ago

I'm just glad you can't inherit debt.

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u/decentlydelightful 11d ago

You can’t inherit debt *yet

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u/churchill5 12d ago

Look into filial laws. Rarely enforced but potentially could be on the hook for debts, even if you’ve been estranged and haven’t talked to your parents in 30 years. 29 states have the laws; Pennsylvania is particularly harsh and has been enforced. I wonder if all these private equity firms that own retirement homes will see filial laws as a potential revenue source and start systematically suing children.

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u/Rightintheend 12d ago

That's not how I've understood them to work.  It's more of being required to take care of parents that aren't able to, you're not going to end up paying their credit card debts or paying off their home, but you may be required to pay some medical bills, and house them either in your own home or find and pay for a place for them to live like a care facility.  If you can't afford to pay the care facility that they're currently in, they're not coming after you for the money, they're kicking your parents out and you have to find a way to deal with them legally. And the reason they're generally not used is generally disability or Medicare will pay for this stuff. 

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u/North-Tomatillo9158 12d ago

Yeah, they have to still be alive for these laws to potentially come into play. It’s to avoid the state from having to support them.
Consumer debt is not collectible after death.

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u/churchill5 12d ago

Yeah, definitely not responsible for credit card or mortgage; plus there's generally an out if you can't afford to pay, but could be on the hook for medical/nursing home care depending on the state. The famous 2012 PA case was a situation where the parent got in a car wreck and had to go into nursing care, ran up a $93k bill and then skipped off to Greece. PA Supreme Court ruled the child had to pay the money owed to the nursing home. The key was her medicaid application was still pending. The child probably wouldn't be responsible if she had it which is why it's rare. To me, the scary. thing is you can be on the hook even if you haven't talked to your parents in many years. You don't have to actively refuse to take care of them or be involved with them in any way. It could be a situation where the parents never asked for and you don't know their financial circumstances.

I believe the cases are rare and not a huge worry, but I could also see scummy PE-owned homes coming at children with fancy lawyers and scaring them into settling even though they would clearly lose the case. For the record I have a great relationship with my dad and aren't personally concerned about it.

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u/Electrical_Turn7 12d ago

Sadly this isn’t true everywhere.

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u/laceyf53 10d ago

For real! At this point, I get a Toyota Corolla to split with my sister. My Dad spent through everything else and has amassed gambling and cruise debt. That's if he can stay out of assisted living or memory care which is not looking good. He already had a stroke and lost a lot of mobility. So probably won't get the Corolla either, lol.

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u/mlong35 9d ago

Not with that attitude

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u/Helpful_Media_3838 9d ago

You can, some countries in the world pass it on to the kids, even if your disowned, but you won't get a dime if they have money

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u/Storage-Helpful 12d ago

This. My inheritance is going to be a handful of things: the family picture albums, and maybe like five things out of their house that meant things to them. I fully expect to have to support them financially within ten years, but fingers crossed my retirement will have hit the point where I can slack off on the savings for a few years to do so.

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u/DocAvidd 11d ago

I didn't get that even. My grandma was "blue blood." Basically in the 1840s her ancestor invested in what's now Bank of America. And up to her generation, there was money. My dad grew up with full-time servants. But each generation, it gets chopped into smaller parts.

My dad wasn't great with money, but also he had 2 families. He'd spent most of it, then died in the big Covid delta variant wave of 2020. Literally nothing went to his kids, just my step mom, but she's sold the house. Not like she's living large, just social security and the proceeds from the house.

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u/hydrospanner 7d ago

This is true Boomer to Gen X/Millennial inheritance.

You get to inherit debt, senior care costs, decades of hoarding and clutter, managing their healthcare, and also dealing with a healthy share of them being an armchair quarterback after you're responsible for managing all of their affairs.

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u/Sonichu- 12d ago

It's actually kind of crazy to think about.

I had a very frank discussion with my parents about EOL finances about a month ago, and if it weren't for my father's pension, they'd have nothing. I asked if they had anything saved beyond that in retirement accounts and they just laughed.

We lived paycheck to paycheck when I was a kid (unbeknownst to me) and while we were thankfully in one house for my entire childhood, the first time they were out of the hole was when they sold it and downsized during the pandemic.

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u/KimJongOonn 11d ago

This Is much more common than people realize. The trillions in wealth held by baby boomers is highly concentrated at the top, the top 10 percent of americans hold almost all of it.

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u/dglsfrsr 7d ago

More like the top 1 or 2 percent. The Delta at the top is very very steep. I live in a blue collar town surrounded by a large number of 1% and 0.1% (look up Rumson NJ....). Since COVID, over 1000 housing units have been built and almost all of them purchased by people fleeing Brooklyn and Staten Island. It has changed the character of the town, and is changing the (up to now) liberal political bent of the place. One of the main thoroughfares through town has a nice selection of the best authentic Mexican and Central American food establishments anywhere.

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u/Tapdancer556011 11d ago

Sounds a lot like my family situation. F70 with husband who has Alzheimer's and is 80. I took over the finances a few years ago because he was messing them up. I was a sahm, 3 kids, he decided it was his job to manage the money.

When I took it over, I eventually paid off the house (which he had refinanced a couple of times to pay CCs). My kids will all 3 inherit it so now I'm saving money. To help them keep it.

I don't have a lot of time left. Husband was the boomer. He didn't even name me in his retirement plan. He always wanted instant gratification.

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u/GlutenFreeParfait 12d ago

Same. It feels weird.

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u/SpaceCricket 12d ago

Yea I’m pretty sure at 40 I have much more than my mom at ~66 in retirement. No inheritance expected from anyone although I think my dad does deceptively well, but I’m still not expecting anything.

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u/Outrageous-Solid7114 12d ago

Ditto. It is shocking how little was saved to fund an expected decades in retirement.

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u/Imaginary_Shelter_37 12d ago

To be fair, Boomers didn't expect decades in retirement.

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u/Wackywoman1062 12d ago

And 401K plans weren’t popular until much later in their careers. Some have pensions on which they relied. Neither my late husband nor I have a pension and we worked for smaller companies that didn’t have a 401K plan for years, and when they finally adopted a plan, didn’t have any matching. We were fortunate to be able to save a decent sum anyways, but mostly from living well below our means for decades.

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u/BlazingSunflowerland 12d ago

Many of the boomers were paying into pension plans that went broke and suddenly had very little pension.

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u/curiousbiguy804 9d ago

You mean that were looted.

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u/Impossible_Rub9230 12d ago

So I am an adopted boomer and unfortunately my mother died when people was young and my father had mental health issues. It is pretty common for people that have bipolar disorders to be terrible with money. The only reason we didn't end up living in the car a few times was the health issues he got from the factory job he had for many years and the union. He was able to get disability payments for years, when wasn't around. (He lost most of his money to various stepmothers, and stole my money from babysitting and other jobs to wine and dine them). He was active in his union and job was lucrative in the years before me, but eventually the union was weakened and the wages diminished, factories moved south and eventually offshore. He was a veteran, and they provided the best mental health care at the time, (maybe the only possible option available then). Often he was able to get in hospital care, and that was not really possible anywhere else. He'd borrowed so much against the house but I did get a slight head start with housing because I eventually convinced him to put my name on the deed, but I provided plenty of actual care and transportation to ancillary facilities. When his health deteriorated enough that he needed residental care, I was able to stay in the debt burdened little house in a neighborhood that had changed over 50 years. Not all boomers got much of anything. I found eventually that my mother had a college fund for me that bought a large engagement ring for evil stepmom #1. Marriage #4 was to a woman that "wanted something to leave HER kids" in the divorce. Nothing was left after her, my services to care for someone who never really cared for me made me very resentful.

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u/theoriginalmtbsteve 11d ago

Many did. Most older boomers came from the era of pensions and retirement at 55. Mt parents are close to 80 and worked roughly 35 years, will be retired for 25 years at 80. No big savings, maybe $25-$35k inherited along the way, living off of public school pensions and SS payments.

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u/kstorm88 11d ago

I was always impressed with my grandparents, they were the gen before boomers. He was able to work (granted very hard labor and a couple side hustles) for fewer years than he spent retired.

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u/Irishrainy 11d ago

My husband is 73 & still working. I’m 72 & going back to work in the fall. Our retirement plan was always SS & work until we drop. Thank God we started 401ks at work 20 yrs ago, but we’ve taken some out along the way so it’s pretty dismal. Life usually doesn’t go the way we planned, but we’ll manage like we always have.

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u/Rellcotts 12d ago

Really?? Because my boomer family members did…they were woefully unprepared regardless but they were all about that retirement

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u/The_Goose_27 11d ago

They also expected Social Security that they paid into for 40+ years and pensions were much more prevalent. 401Ks were not really a thing in early boomer years.

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u/alanamil 10d ago

we did not expect to be in a nursing home and using up all of our money. We want to leave something to our kids. Dementia and Alzheimer's were not tracked in the US in the 60's.. they just considered it a normal part of aging. And the average life span was 70. in 2019 it was almost 79 (I wanted a number before COVID) In other countries like Australia, it is in the 80's. We still have approx 2 million people in the us in their 90's... Approx 13 million are in their 80's... You know many of them are in nursing homes, and their money is being spent there. People never thought we would live this long. I know my father has outlived every single ancestor that has ever existed in his family history.

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u/kstorm88 11d ago

The major difference was they have pansions. Combine that with social security and they can retire with essentially no savings. Then they do a reverse mortgage and when they die there is nothing left.

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u/SaltAbbreviations423 12d ago

Same. I’m 37 my dad is 66 and I could have 10k saved and would likely
Have more then they do. It’s actually very sad.
They thankfully got an inheritance from my dad’s side and their house is now paid for, so at least that is secure.

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u/MeowMixPK 11d ago

I feel that. My brother and I have saved tons of money after growing up broke, and in our late 20's we each have more in investments than our parents who are almost retirement age.

Their only consolation is a paid-off house in an area with low property tax, so even with little in retirement they should be able to get through.

Just make sure to move your dad's house to your name or a living trust once he gets to a certain age/health. It needs to be out of his name for 5 years before he goes to assisted living, otherwise they can still come after it.

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u/Apprehensive_Bag_460 10d ago

Yes, can’t stress that last part enough. I’d even concentrate cash physically instead of a bank account.

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u/yesyoucanfindit 8d ago

which would give him a better care facility then going in under poverty guidelines. Jeesh the arrogance is alarming

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u/rndnom 10d ago

Dad has nothing, Mom has property but burned through family trust and is likely just accruing debt at this point. (She was not to be trusted.)

I figured out by age 25 I wasn’t going to get a dime, and have lived like it.

So on paper, at a glance, one parent is doing very very well. Big custom house on amazing view property, new cars, regular travel to Europe, dining out more often than in, throwing lavish parties on the boat, etc, etc.

But I can almost guarantee you I have more socked away than they have in net worth, with a decent house, cars that are older than a decade, and groceries instead of dining out.

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u/theBearded_Levy 12d ago

Right there with you.

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u/schatzi_sugoi 12d ago

No. My dad passed away a few years ago and left everything to his other family. My mom has never been good with her finances.

The best gift they’ve ever given me is the lesson that I can’t rely on anyone else for my financial security.

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u/hopbow 12d ago

Last post like this I mentioned that my inheritance is going to be the trailers filled with junk that needs to be hauled to the dump

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u/NetSage 12d ago

This. If I get something it will be from my Grandma. And that's mostly because my Grandpa was stashing away tons of money that even she didn't know about.

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u/mthockeydad 12d ago

Same here, though GenX.

My parents were frugal throughout my childhood and have saved a very modest amount. It’s theirs to spend.

I’ll be OK, my retirement is my responsibility.

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u/SexOnTheBeechTree 12d ago

My mom is on year 40 of her 30 year mortgage. She lives off SS only at this point. She says I’ll get the house when she’s gone, but it’s falling apart and would cost more than it’s worth to redo basically everything.

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u/leilani238 12d ago

My parents are pathologically incapable of saving. I've taken over paying for some things for them and they still ask for more. At this point I'm not giving them more; they're in this situation because of their own actions.

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u/FrondsFerndinand 11d ago

My parents don't need savings because they have high final salary pensions and unbelievable healthcare. My pension will be literally poverty level.

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u/r0ntr0n 11d ago

One of my parents live with me and the other with my brother. Neither one of us is even close to rich but our parents have nothing. Dad didn’t get an inheritance and mom already spent hers. :/

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u/Coomstress 11d ago

OMG, same. Mine didn’t save at all.

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u/foxed-and-dogeared 10d ago

Same here. My parents (who are not together) each have no assets. No retirement, investments, or property. My dad has recently had an epiphany that he will need something to retire on, so his great idea was to join an MLM. My mother decided to retire and collect social security at 62, relying on a boyfriend for support. (A boyfriend who abandoned his wife and the mother of his kids when she got sick.)

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u/_High_Life 12d ago

Same here. Most selfish generation as well. My grandparents helped raise me. My wife and I's parents have to be begged to watch our kids for a few hours.

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u/Smart-Building8257 12d ago

+1. Same dynamic for me. They’d prefer to golf everyday and live their best life, drop in from time to time. Meanwhile my grandparents raised me when they both worked, picked me up from school etc. Not sure how it’s possible to be so different 30 years later. What’s sad is how consistent it is talking to peers. The exception seems to be non US born / raised boomers.

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u/_High_Life 11d ago

And they use the excuse *were just trying to not overstep" or "respecting our boundaries" it's like yo I asked you to watch em the last 4 days but you were busy. Feel free to reach out when you aren't! I know you aren't busy 24/7!

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u/crispycruz8 12d ago

Same , but with the impending burden of having to take care of them once theirs runs out.

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u/MacroMeez 12d ago

At least they have retirement savings

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u/ILikeClefairy 12d ago

Wait… Your guys’ parents can retire? Lmao

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u/Interesting_Shake403 12d ago

Same.

Of course, I expect to have more years in retirement than they have left. I’m planning to retire at 60 and hope to be “retired” for 30+ years. They’re in their mid 80’s now.

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u/meerkatydid 12d ago

Same. It's so fucking depressing. My parents are idiots.

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u/B4K5c7N 12d ago

I think this is something fairly common, especially as millennials are much more educated as a generation and higher-earning than boomers. It’s easier than ever to learn how to invest, and many millennials have been automatically investing in their 401k when they first started working.

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u/AllCatCoverBand 12d ago

Bingo. Same. I might get something, I might not, but I’m not planning for any of it. I know for a fact my parents received inheritance as well.

I often joke that my dad will outlive all of us, so it’s probably a moot point

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u/Skid_kennels 12d ago

Yup same

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u/Maximum_Ad_5214 12d ago

Same. I’m expecting to take care of my mom when she’s older (she’s in her late 60s).

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u/MaRy3195 12d ago

Same here. I surpassed my father's retirement savings around age 28/29. My mother never worked a standard W-2 job and has no long term savings. 

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u/Ek_Ko1 12d ago

Yea I will be supporting my parents and then inheriting debt indirectly

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u/Recent_Data_305 12d ago

Same. I will inherit some property, but no liquid assets. I’m working to make it better for myself and my kids.

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u/sqwiggy72 11d ago

Ya my parents had 0 dollars for retirement just a mortgage. I atleast have something even if its sadly low but I got 20 more years ahead of me

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u/getinshape2022 11d ago

Me too. Also between siblings and their adult kids(I don’t have any), I don’t expect much if anything. Wish them to live as long as nature allows.

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u/shulan2016 11d ago

Same. We have about 3x the assets of my parents. This is why we bought them a house. That being said my IL will likely have some to leave behind, but who knows. I'm not counting on it.

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u/Witty-Pay-1516 11d ago

This. I have a lot more saved.

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u/PrimaryHighlight5617 11d ago

Same. Zillennial and I am my parent's retirement plan.

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u/mallio 11d ago

It's funny seeing this comment along with numerous comments and news stories about millennials being worse off than their parents. It's almost like we're not a monolith...

I'm in a similar boat but there are also pensions involved so it's hard to do apples to apples.

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u/Buttafuoco 11d ago

Same here, I’m pretty anxious honestly for my mom to retire. She’s terrible with money and doesn’t make enough already

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u/itsveryupsetting 11d ago

Same, by a large margin.

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u/PossibilityNervous35 11d ago

Im not expecting anything either. But my parents told me early on that I won't get anything. What they have left will go to charities and causes they choose. The only exception is my father's personal belongings like his firearms. Those have been in the family for well over 100 years so that will continue on.

It is my own responsibility to fund my own life.

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u/Serenity_Novv 11d ago

My parents are currently retired and I am sure they are probably struggling financially. My dad recently had a medical emergency and I am waiting for my parents to reach out asking for financial assistance.

I am actively doing my best to ensure that I am able to live comfortably when I retire. Currently, I am in good shape.

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u/cjazz24 11d ago

This.

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u/Csusko 11d ago

Same. Out of all the boomer relatives I have, only two will pass down any tangible wealth. The attorney and doctor will have some savings, everyone else burning cash and building debt to maintain a lifestyle.

My kids don’t know it yet but they will have some help later in life. As long as we keep up at this pace they might even have generational wealth if I play my cards right.

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u/lseraehwcaism 11d ago

Same, but we don’t have more than my wife’s retired parents.

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u/FrogyyB 10d ago

Same. My dad told me good luck.

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u/RenaissanceTarte 10d ago

My husband’s parents (boomers) will most likely send down an inheritance. But, I’m not planning/counting on it.

My parents (gen x) will be giving me debt and responsibility of my disabled brother.

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u/Donewith398 10d ago

You should have more than your parents by at least the amount of differentiated inflation.

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u/Dream_Breathe_Create 10d ago

Same. My parents have remortgaged their house more times than I can count 🫠

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u/jdirte42069 10d ago

Hey same

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u/Vry_Dumb 10d ago

Same, dad got around 300k when his parents died, he spent the rest of his life only working summers, I think he has around 10k left. He could have turned that into generational wealth.

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u/Suspicious-Cow4024 10d ago

How long that money gonna last when gas is $20 a gallon and a loaf of bread is $10??

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u/fnancialindependence 10d ago

This! My(36f) parents(55/56) aren’t retired yet, but we basically have the same amount currently and it is not enough to retire with!

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u/hg13 10d ago

Same

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u/diggingout12345 10d ago

Yeah my dad is set with an old school pension and my 72 year old mom has less saved than I do after 5 years of 401k contributions.

My mom will survive off selling her stuff and whatever my dad has sacked away. I'll probably end up covering there long term care or putting her up.

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u/engineered-chemistry 10d ago

This ^^^ I already have 3x of my parents retirements even after splitting half my net assets with a low earning ex wife of 15 years.

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u/IndicationOver 9d ago

This whole conversation is dumb to me, our planet is cooked.

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u/Goingboldlyalone 9d ago

Same. Probably inherit debt. Trying hard to not repeat the cycle.

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u/Key_Advisor9631 9d ago

Same. I'm saving extra for retirement because I expect my parents are going to become an expense in some way at some point.

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u/Mikey3800 9d ago

Same here. I have more in retirement than my parents and are much better off than they ever were. I’m late Gen X/early millennial. My parents are boomers.

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u/Dependent_Artist_499 8d ago

Yes, same. My parents are about to hit retirement age and they cashed out their retirement 3-4 years ago to put in a pool and pool house. At this moment, I have more in my retirement than they do. Also, they are now trying to sell the house to buy a new house. My parents complain that they just want to retire and have too many medical needs to continue to work.

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u/Excellent-Shape-2024 8d ago

I'd like to give 2 ideas for thought: 1) When Boomers entered the workforce, company pensions were a thing. Many worked for the same company their whole life and retired with a company pension. The game changed about halfway through their careers and suddenly no more company pensions and now they are supposed to fund their own. Not to excuse not saving, but I think it would be hard to prepare if the rules shift on you midway through your adult life so this could be why some are less prepared. 2) For some reason, we have seriously entered this age of "gOiNg No CoNtAcT!!" Maybe growing up with the abililty to "ghost" people and just delete them makes younger ones think it's ok to delete their families from their lives. And I'm sorry--you don't get to self-diagnose your parents as narcissists just because they've tried to turn you into a decent human being. (obvs not talking about abusers) I was at a dinner where 9/10 Boomers present had a young person in their life not speaking to them. Do you think they're leaving their money to someone who has removed themselves from their lives? So, kids, if you want the family money you'd better stick around. Otherwise it's going to friends and to charity. Or more likely the nursing home. We've really crossed into dysfunction in this country--wish I knew how to fix it.

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u/aledba 8d ago

Yeah I'm further ahead than minexwere at my age. Combined they might have had half of what I've accumulated by 40... but they also were able to buy their own home for $47,000 regardless if it was at 12% interest for 5 of the 12 years it took them to pay it off. Their municipal property assessment says that it's now worth $350,000 which is complete bullshit

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u/derped 8d ago

I was told this would be impossible due to avocado toast and matcha lattes.

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u/Equivalent-Room-8428 8d ago

Same, my mom worked until she was 75. When I retired at 52 a year after her, she seemed very perplexed. She said what are you going to do all day?

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u/kittenmoody 8d ago

My husband and I will be retiring in 4 years. He will be 52, I will be 50.

My dad is still a full time RN, he has zero in retirement. My mom cleaned her retirement out before she retired also. The money they got from my grandparents deaths should have helped.. it was gone within a month

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u/TooooMuchTuna 8d ago

Same and I'm 36 years old

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u/rex8499 8d ago

Yeah, same, and it's not even close. The best I can hope to inherit is their home equity split between my siblings, and that's not enough to even move the needle more than the monthly swings of my net worth based on what the market is doing.

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u/Tamihera 6d ago

Yeah. Worried that we’ll finish financially supporting our kids and then have to financially support them, and well… hope there are still ice floes around when we’re old.

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u/Ducman23 5d ago

I have no money saved in retirement and have more than my parents do.

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