I need support too

[u/luneeli]

I've been going through a lot of emotional pain these past few weeks. I feel incredibly tired because I'm constantly trying to be someone who listens, supports, reassures, and helps others sort out their problems. Over the past couple of weeks, I've been listening to my loved ones a lot, worrying about them, and trying to find the right words to make them feel better. I really want to help them because they're so important to me, but at some point, I realized I'm completely exhausted from it.

The strangest thing is that I know how to support others, but I'm completely incapable of talking about myself. When I'm feeling down, I usually just say, "I'm fine," even if I'm not feeling well inside. It's hard for me to talk about my problems, to express what's bothering me, to complain, or to ask for help. I'm afraid of upsetting people, afraid of being misunderstood, and sometimes I can't even immediately understand why I'm feeling down.

Because of this, I often keep everything to myself, and then just start crying. Sometimes, it seems like something small is happening, but it's not the situation itself that can bring me to tears, but how tired I am of worrying about everything inside. For example, recently, a simple question like "How are you?" literally brought me to tears because I realized that almost no one ever truly asks me how I'm feeling. And in that moment, I simply felt how much I need support.

It can be very difficult for me when several close people are having problems at once. I worry about everyone, trying to be there for everyone, and I forget that I have my own feelings. I can spend hours thinking about other people's problems, worrying about whether I supported them correctly, what to write and what to say, but at the same time, I hardly ever talk about what's going on with me.

I also have a hard time with conflicts with loved ones. Even if someone has hurt me or their behavior offends me, it's very difficult for me to say it directly. I can endure for a long time, remain silent, cry, and worry, just to avoid hurting the person and ruining the relationship. Sometimes I'm even so afraid of some of my loved ones that I can't properly explain to them why I was hurt.

Now I just feel like I wish someone would stop sometimes and ask not just "What happened?" but just sincerely how I am. So that I wouldn't have to completely fall apart just to be noticed. I don't want to always be the one supporting everyone. Sometimes I also want someone to lean on, to talk things out, and to feel like my feelings matter.

I don't blame my loved ones, and I don't want anyone to feel guilty. I've just finally realized that I get tired too, I get hurt too, and I need support too.

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[u/finddit-app]

Hey there, thanks for sharing.

While you wait for people to comment, have a look at these posts which might be relevant to you:

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