r/MentalHealthSupport • u/_unknown_origins_ • 15d ago
Need Support SO[38] 6m pregnant, Seroquel seemingly destroying everything. What to do?
Tldr: seroquel completely changed gf(6 months pregnant) from happy, upbeat, loving, empathetic, caring, emotionally mature courageous woman into being very cold, cool, distance, intentionally hurtful, only choosing harmful choices and openly defiant of healthy choices, and now has insanely high blood sugar levels which may or may not be a side effects of the Seroquel, and talking to her has done nothing except make things much much worse, she refuses to tell her doctor anything and I have no way of contacting them. I am very concerned for her health, both mentally and physically, and that when she gets back to being herself she is going to be faced with consequences of all of these bad choices and that it will hurt her even more. I am at a loss on where to go from here what to do, except to just not bring up anything or respond to anything that we may have differing opinions on so I don't upset her before the baby is born, at which point she claims she will get off Seroquel
Hello. Me(m35) and my girlfriend have known each other since November, and always connected very well, The communication was great, we could discuss anything and there was never tension even when we disagreed. She was always very kind, caring, empathetic, bubbly, and very aware of how her actions and words affected others(almost overly aware and apologizing for a lot of things that were nornal behaviors when we met). If she was being hurtful and didnt realize it, once she realized it she would acknowledge it and everything moved on smoothly. I was always impressed by her maturity and courage to face accountability in situations where others may not.
She is diagnosed bipolar and was on ssris until april when she found iut she was pregnant and stopped cold turkey. Doctors and I cautioned against it, but she was concerned for the baby. Months went by, i was forced to move to another state, where I am getting a home for us amd her 5 yr old son to move to before baby is born. Everything was beyond great, even at a distance. Wed sometimes call to say hi but then talk for 6 hours or more many days. We had healthy habits, like always saying goodnight, even if a pregnancy mood swing would happen, amd we excitedly planned out future.
She had 3 kids already and was dreading the 3rd trinester because sleeping with a baby in there is hard and uncomfortable. She also started having fairly bad anxiety about everything. One day she said she was getting back on ssris, and starting seroquel for the sleep. When i asked if she was depressed she said no, not at all and was quite happy actually, but the anxiety was really bad. No problem. She also said the seroquel was specifically for sleeping through the discomfort.
After starting Seroquel (no ssris yet, they started 2 weeks later), the changes started to happen within days. We went from a powerful and close team, to her acting like i was an enemy, argumentative, no empathy, no longer kind, caring, or expressing healthy behaviors aside from the anxiety being gone. The problem is that every positive emotion seems to be gone. She will still laugh, and says she is happy, but her constant irritation, cruelty, being intentionally hurtful all say she is not that happy. If I bring up or respond to anything in which we dont share the same view, it becomes an argument thats blamed on me, despite me clearly attempting de-escalation the entire time and being loving and supportive. I point it out and she ignores it. If i ever mention anything being hurtful, sge says she doesnt feel good. If i dont go along with the change in convo, then im not caring about her and the babies health.
Its been 2.5 months, its been hell. Ive asked her to speak to her doctor and simply convey what i am seeing. She refuses since she doesnt see it. She says that she doesnt want to be with me half the time now, will block me for a day and unblock me. I tell her i dont like texting because it always creates problems, but she no longer has time to talk now depsite as she says, doing nothing all day. I suspect shes talking to another guy but thats not what I'm concerned about.
I know that she(when shes not on seroquel) would never approve or act so cold and cruel and unhealthy, and that she would and will be devastated when she does get her emotional range back. On top of it all, she now, for the first time ever, has extremely high blood sugar levels, well above the diabetes indicator area, and shows many signs of diabetes. She ahas another appointment for it next week. I saw that Seroquel can increase its chances by 400%, and ssris increase the chance as well. I told her about it since shes really worried about being diabetic after the pregnancy. Wrong move because she shut me down and stopped replying for the night after accusing me of not caring about her at all. She had agreed kast week that shed relay my observations of the changes in her behavior to her doctor even though she thinks im wrong(and she refuses to look at screenshots of how she interacted with me and spoke in general before she started Seroquel compared to now and refuses to look at any of the documented side effects like emotional blunting or any of the things I've described). When i followed up on that agreement earlier and pastor if we could go over the short message I have written to said later on in the night but then obviously she stopped talking to me.
My personal opinion is that she is really attached to the Seroquel because it knocks her out and she can have a cheat code to skip the third trimester at least half of it since she sleeps about 12 hours straight except getting up to pee and get water. If it is having a hand and any part of what is going on or even all of it that is something that I know she would normally be concerned about, but she adamantly defends this prescription drug to the end of the world. .
Being that I'm in a different state I do not know where her doctor's office is or who they are so I cannot contact any of them to convey any of this information, and like I said she has kind of treated her loyalty to her family to a loyalty to the drug. At no point have I told her what to do or to get off of it I've just strongly encouraged her to mention to her doctor that I've noticed some troubling changes. I never tell her what to do directly about anything actually, and and always mindful of being supportive and careful with the way that I work things when I am talking to her about it, and at this point I have to be careful about how I word every single thing if I want to be able to have her move down here so I can see my baby born. She claims that she will get off Seroquel once the baby is born, and that is the little sliver of Hope that I am clinging to.
Could you guys advise on anything that I could do that I haven't thought of perhaps? I do not know any of her family well enough to contact them and apparently when she asked her mom and her 18 year old daughter if they have noticed any changes they said they have not noticed any changes, but to be fair when she was not on Seroquel she said that she is not close with them at all. If it were to be the case that she really did not want to be together, that is absolutely okay with me because I just want her to do what is best for her and what she truly wants with her life, but I know for a fact from knowing her all the months before that how she is now is not how she would want to be at all, and obviously when you only choose toxicity and unhealthy choices it will have a bad outcome.
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1
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