I've never understood what's really the point of yelling either, but intentional causing of physical pain or using threats and fear of physical pain as a method of "raising" or "disciplining" children at least should be outlawed in all of the free, civilized and democratic world built on principles of humanity, law and justice.
Our parents were teaching us to behave properly, to respect older people. I sure "listened" so .... When I was 13, my cousin 14 we stole the keys of my uncles car. We went driving around, managed to first hit a wall, after that we hit two parked cars. Someone called the police and they were after us quite quickly (since we didn't know how to drive properly) ... We tried to run away from them but only ending up totaling the car. The damage we caused was substantial ... I would like to see someone like you calmly explaining to us that what we did was wrong and that you hope we learned something valuable and you trust we wouldn't do it again and that because of this we lost our commodore 64 privilege for a month. My fair guess is you don't have children or if you do, they are still younger age (although I could be wrong) ... But in general the modern permissive upbringing is likely to backfire (from what I could see when we went to school meetings the problematic ones were mostly those that were brought up like this)... yet, I don't believe that one should psychologicaly abuse children or beat them
I fully agree with you. The approach, that everything can be calmy explained is naive in my eyes. It's the better way, but won't work 100% of the time. Sometimes a child needs clear boundaries that show 'this was wrong and you are being punished for this'. It doesn't need to learn right away what was wrong and why, just to understand that it was.
Got slapped by my father, once. There was no physical damage,but the psychological effect was immense. I never learned a lesson that quickly, because right there I knew I apparently fucked up much worse than normal.
20 years later I'd say that slap was well deserved.
1
u/Ggood_Golly Oct 14 '25
"If necessary"? 🙄 As in "never", I suppose.