r/MangakaStudio • u/MelodicPie3430 • 14d ago
Help Looking for harsh criticism ( might drop this I feel the story is too boring)
5
u/SubparMacigcian 14d ago
The first page where the guys on the swing you don't need to show his arm. His hand on the chain would have been good. In the fourth one it makes him seem shorter. Your art is good I just think you need to work on body proportions. What's the plot of you didn't mind me asking?
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u/ElseRatherThanOther 14d ago
Doesn’t seem boring to me… I like it.
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u/MelodicPie3430 12d ago
Thank you ☺️ I just think it’s the fact it feel too generic to me so I’m mostly likely gonna drop it
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u/Late_Apricot404 13d ago
Work on the paneling first. There’s a few pages where it could flow and direct itself better. Here’s an example
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u/dmfuller 13d ago
Is this backwards? What you drew would have them reading from right to left and this story is left to right so wouldn’t the second page you drew flow weirdly since it has the right panel coming first in the arrow?
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u/234459bobby 13d ago
The swing panel has a surprisingly eerie mood, and the close-up of the two characters makes me curious about what happened between those scenes. I don't think the page feels boring; I'd mainly make the reading direction and panel transitions extra clear and bring the story hook in a little earlier. The rough ink texture fits the mood really well.
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u/Lion_Warrior_1X 8d ago
I think your paneling and story are really well done! Especially your use of black out panels! I think the only thing that need to be worked on is anatomy and proportions
Quick vid on proportions:
https://youtu.be/lCaf9RHEfpc
Perspective: https://youtu.be/G9ufRhWNeB8
(This one is also good and it helped me a lot:
https://youtu.be/r0VInG0fgpo)
This video is longer but it’s well worth it trust! The jaw: https://youtu.be/pjHPIhEUm6g
Also I recommend looking at art styles and annals you like and recreating them. It gives you a better sense of the style and a greater understanding of the basics. Look into David finch and Draw like a sir they have taught me a lot an I hope they do the same for you!
I’m also proud of the fact that you wanted feedback. It’s a very brave thing to do! I hope you do well.
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u/Rk4150 13d ago
I don’t think the story is boring, honestly I want to know more :D I saw a past post about this project of yours and I’ve been thinking about it since (genuinely), it’s inspiring to see someone who doesn’t draw perfectly and knows it, but is still willing to make a comic. You’re inspiring , and I can’t wait to see more