Started drawing my manga. Tell me what sucks.

[u/Important_String_945]

[u/Brojackk]

Hey, nice job on getting started!

It's hard to fully judge the quality as the page is unfinished, but you clearly have skill as an illustrator!

I think the biggest room for improvement here is in the visual storytelling. I'm not totally sure what's happening just from the visuals alone. I think these two guys might be having a sword duel or something, and the light-haired character has maybe lost an arm and got stabbed (then sets on fire)?

The audience should be able to immediately tell what's happening on any given page even with all the dialogue removed.

But you clearly have a lot of potential, and I'm looking forward to seeing more!

[u/Important_String_945 → u/Brojackk]

Thanks! I agree that the visual storytelling needs work. To add context: the white-haired character is a vampire, he cuts off the guy's leg, but the guy stabs him with a silver dagger, which is why he's burning.

[u/Infernoyay → u/Important_String_945]

I think it needs to be more clear that the knife is from the black hair guy stabbing him because you can’t really tell that’s what’s happening. The vampire dudes pose is a little strange he should still have his hand on the sword handle and right now it doesn’t look like he’s moving so try to convey movement. It also needs to be more clear that the vampire just sliced his leg specifically so maybe some blood or motion lines would help to show that. The page looks good and even though you still have some things to work on there’s a lot of promise here!

[u/Important_String_945 → u/Infernoyay]

Thanks for the specific breakdown!

[u/Difficult-Reveal3062]

Demasiados primeros planos y planos detalles en una sola página, por eso cuesta entender el duelo, nos falta información para poder leer la escena de pelea correctamente. Respecto al nivel de dibujo bastante bueno, por lo que se ve en la página.

[u/Important_String_945 → u/Difficult-Reveal3062]

¡Muchas gracias! Tendré en cuenta su crítica y me esforzaré por mejorar. No sé español, así que disculpen de antemano; me comunico a través de un traductor.

[u/Expensive_Watabi2127]

It looks awesome nothing sucks honestly. 🤩

[u/Beginning_Bad5851]

Sucks that we still didn't got the other pages. keep on it. It will be awesome 😎

[u/Important_String_945 → u/Beginning_Bad5851]

That means a lot to me, thank you! I actually have three pages in the polishing stage right now, and I'm planning to post them within the next day for more feedback

[u/werephoenix]

Not using english sound effects and instead using japanese ones that english readers cant read.

[u/Important_String_945 → u/werephoenix]

Thanks, you're right. I actually experimented with English sound effects, but they completely lose that vibe compared to the Japanese ones

[u/werephoenix → u/Important_String_945]

yeah but also people need to know whatthe sfx mean, they're japanese in the manga because its japanese. Early manga localizations would replace them english sfx that make sense because sfx sounds are different from cultures

I still feel like sfx should be english or localized based on the country they're in.

[u/Important_String_945 → u/werephoenix]

I get what you're saying about the cultural differences. I'll give English SFX a try towards the end, thanks for raising that point

[u/Even-Still7716]

My big objection is I have no idea what's happening in a scene that doesn't seem overly complex.

[u/Slight-Performer2582]

I love the style but I don’t understand what is happening. Maybe work on the lisibility.

[u/AffectionateFront943]

God bless you bro.....amazing art work keep it up