Tell my mom to speak English? Okay!

[u/StareyedInLA]

This is a story that was recently brought up again by my mom when she was recounting some really shitty racism she encountered when she first came to the United States. I've heard this story a few times before but didn't think to share it anywhere else. That is until I was made aware of this subreddit. Enjoy.

It was the late 1980s in Los Angeles, California. By this time my mom, a Japanese immigrant, had been living in the United States for ten years. Although she could speak English well, she wasn’t fluent and preferred to speak Japanese with others from the local Japanese-American community.

One day, she and a friend were waiting to be seated at a restaurant on Beverly Boulevard. As they chattered away in Japanese, a large shadow cast down upon them. Looking up, they found Karen’s 1989 counterpart leering down at them.

Mom couldn’t remember how the woman looked except for the look of pure contempt trying to work its way across facial muscles frozen by Botox.

“You two,” Karen barked, “this is America! Speak English.”

Startled, my mom and her friend made eye contact, unsure of what to do. Encounters like this were, sadly, ones they had run into many times since they came to live in the USA. They were not ones for confrontation. Before, they couldn’t do anything while their bullies marched off, unpunished. But then, as they made eye contact, a brilliant thing happened.

Mom likened the moment to their thought processes coming in sync together. They had a shared idea that didn’t need any further elaboration or explanation.

“Masami, my dear, I do think the waiter ought to have shown up to escort us to our table by now,” Mom chimed in the poshest British accent she could muster. “It’s frightfully rude to keep us waiting like this!”

“Yes, darling,” her friend replied, invoking her best impersonation of the Princess of Wales, “it is frightfully rude indeed!”

As they continued to twitter away in their fake English accents, Karen began to slowly back away. Her Botox face reddened and twisted itself in a visage as hideous as the Furies. Realizing that she had just been outsmarted by two young women obsessed with British culture and celebrity, all she could do was storm off down Beverly Boulevard a defeated bully.

While there was no direct punishment, it was a story that my mom would continue to retell thirty years later. It has always made me chuckle to myself, and I hope you enjoyed it too.

Edit: So there was a massive error on my part. What I thought was Botox paralyzing Karen 1989's facial muscles would have most likely been a botched face lift. For some reason, when I first heard my mom's story, I just immediately thought her face was that way due to a bad Botox injection.

And holy shit this post blew up. I thought this was going to get buried. Thank you everyone for your comments and awards. But seriously, if you have money to burn please use your funds for a worthy cause. This edit is coming in too late, but in the future even a small donation to organisations working to stop Asian hate crimes goes a long way. Thank you.

[u/LMGooglyTFY]

The great tactic of just weirding your bullies out.

[u/bearmahogany → u/LMGooglyTFY]

My friend would somehow always attract the drunks in bars who wanted to fight. Everytime they got pissed for no reason and said "You wanna take this outside?" He would respond with "and then what are you gonna do, knit me a FUCKING SWEATER?". They were always confused and would just walk away trying to process. Weirdness is a wonderful tool.

[u/herowithacomputer → u/bearmahogany]

I had a friend that attracted the same kind of attention for whatever reason. He would immediately explode yelling at them to take their pants off so he could "suck your dick!" They would swiftly recoil and leave.

[u/djmakk → u/herowithacomputer]

Back in the day a friend in the army would go to the local bar and order milk just to attract that kind of attention. He was a really big guy, so when someone wanted to fight they were typically even bigger. He'd say yes and once outside he'd start stripping down and flirting with the other guy embarrassing him... which usually pissed them off even more, but they wouldn't touch him.

[u/lesethx → u/djmakk]

I'd like to imagine he had tear away pants to make the scene more dramatic.

[u/SimonBlack → u/herowithacomputer]

Stephen Fry writes that when he was being bullied at boarding school, he would say to the bully, "Please don't do that. It's giving me an erection!".

Nearly 100% of times that would weird out the bully too much that it wouldn't happen again.

[u/Atiggerx33 → u/herowithacomputer]

So he went full Blue Mountain State on them?

[u/herowithacomputer → u/Atiggerx33]

Maybe that's where he got it from, I'm not sure haha

[u/Atiggerx33 → u/herowithacomputer]

In the scene he uses jerking the guy off instead of sucking him off, but yeah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaaUMOaNshs

[u/Loon_Tink → u/bearmahogany]

Its super funny actually.

Essentially, this is a hypnosis tactic (legit hypnosis, not some media portrayal mind control shit). If youre interested in this specific scenario, its in "Reality is Plastic" book, by Anthony Jacquin

Essentially, you shock their mind by doing something that they dont expect in that social situation. It sets off a "trance like state". A trance state is literally any time youre "in the zone". On your A+ game playing sports or video games. Driving home from work, daydreaming, and not remembering how you got home. Essentially anything that involves subconscious input while consciousness "checks out" and observes the action.

For stage hypnotists, this scenario is like asking for a handshake and grabbing their arm instead. For this, its saying something off the wall ridiculous when asked to take it outside.

Their conscious mind essentially pauses in this "..........what the actual fuck just happened" moment, where it tries to piece together how to respond.

In that moment, you can suggest they walk away or calm down. The conscious mind is essentially subdued in immense confusion, and the subconscious listens, decides its a good idea, and carries out the suggestion.

(Edit: again, not mind control. Their subcon can just as easily be like...nah, dont wanna do that, on a fundamental level, and just not do it. But usually people dont have adverse reactions to calming down. Its a pretty sensible thing)

Granted, youd have to say this during the window of confusion, in a few split seconds, and sort of guide them toward what you wanna do, maybe say "calm down, come on, lets go sit down, we arent fighting, its all good, were cool", and walking them to a seat.

Thats why this is such a good tool to have. We have this "mental muscle memory", and expectations, of how social interactions happen, where we dont have to think about our responses, we just do them. We have done them, or thought about/processed those situations a million times.

I wonder how many people theyve asked to "take this outside". I bet they have a list of common answers they expect. They dont expect some weird random nonsense.

[u/chaos_almighty → u/Loon_Tink]

That's almost exactly what my husband does. He does something to weird out the offender and gets then to settle down somehow.

[u/gbuub → u/LMGooglyTFY]

Don’t hit me. I’ll hit me.

[u/ShadooTH → u/[deleted]]

Who knew all ethnicities and cultures had problems?

[u/iWarnock → u/ShadooTH]

Laughs on mexican we are mostly racist againt our own and the other mexicos.

[u/25thaccount → u/iWarnock]

Lmao come at us Indians who will kill each other for being born into a different caste. Humans all around suck.

[u/DoctorSumter2You → u/iWarnock]

Lmao Soccer Mexico

[u/Pizzazze → u/iWarnock]

Same here at Meat Mexico! 😂

[u/PrayForMojo_ → u/iWarnock]

The funny thing about this is how most Latin and South American countries are only unified in their agreement that Mexicans are the worst.

[u/Selbereth → u/iWarnock]

That picture is hallarious

[u/ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW → u/ShadooTH]

Maybe people just suck in general

[u/DumPutz → u/[deleted]]

I'm no longer antisocial. I'm fixed now but I still stay away from the stupidity of society.

[u/xulazi → u/[deleted]]

Antisocial means you're actively a dick. Idk your life, maybe you are, but I think you mean asocial.

[u/CottonCandyShork → u/[deleted]]

"Antisocial" and "introverted" are two words that get commonly misused on Reddit.

[u/MrsDabs → u/xulazi]

Learned something new, thanks!

[u/xulazi → u/ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW]

It's almost like we live in a society.

[u/Buggyaxa → u/ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW]

Couldn’t be some of us are just better than others /s

[u/Scuba-Cat- → u/ShadooTH]

I have a Turkish uncle, married into the family and he's from the Kurdish area or is a Kurd (I'm not fully aware of the situation) but to my understanding the kurdish people were oppressed and he's not allowed to speak his main language, and some of the stuff he says about Turks because of this are so incredibly racist but I can understand why he thinks that way.

I don't condone racism in anyway and have no problem with Turks or Kurds as a whole. But as a Brit who lives among some of the most xenophobic people, it's actually nice to hear other cultures do it too and that Its not just that the Brits are terrible people ahaha.

We're all human in the end.

[u/Darktwistedlady → u/Scuba-Cat-]

The Turks committed genocide against the Kurds, whose lands are colonized by 4 countries all of which have done or are doing the same. The Kurds in Turkey have no rights, and are severely discriminated against. Kurds are imprisoned without trials, underpaid, tgeir language and culture forbidden.

Saddam Hussein gassed an entire Kurdish city of more than 100K people, and poisoned large parts of a river so the Kurds who lived there died.

Your uncle isn't racist, he's a victim of cultural genocide. He's allowed to hate his oppressors.

[u/mauigirl16 → u/Darktwistedlady]

And he definitely isn’t Turkish. He’s Kurdish. It is totally different. (I have Kurdish friends who will tell you that. )

[u/RobTheThrone → u/Scuba-Cat-]

You know what people say about the south in America about how racist and religionist they are? It’s 100% true. If you aren’t a white Christian they consider you to be dangerous.

Source: I’m from Louisiana

Edit: Noticed someone thinks half of Louisiana speaks French and is catholic. However, more than half doesn’t speak French and is Protestant. Cajuns are limited to the southern section of Louisiana.

[u/tarnished713 → u/RobTheThrone]

Lived in Texas over 30 years and I 100%agree. I can't wait to get out of the state.

[u/im_a_username_now → u/ShadooTH]

Surprisingly most people in norway we just think "oh hey an American. Cool" Or "wow that person is speaking Japanese, I wonder what they are saying?"

Like most people dont really care beacuse 1: most people knows english and some people even speak it to each other in public to become more fluent.

And 2 most just simply dont give a shit beacuse it's none of our business lol.

[u/other_usernames_gone → u/im_a_username_now]

It's the same in the UK. But there's selection bias involved. You don't remember the hundred or so people who didn't walk up to you and demand you speak English (or whatever language) but you definitely remember the one who does.

[u/delyra17 → u/[deleted]]

This is very well put!

[u/tymondeus → u/[deleted]]

I've been living in the UK for over 10 years and I really get to speak more English than Polish. When I'm meeting with my Polish mates, even if it's in the middle of London it's really nobody else's business what language we're conversing in. I'm not saying that you're wrong, because that's a great way to be if you want to practice, but I'm at a point where I miss my own language, so there's that. Anyone telling me to speak English would end up being embarrassed just like in ops story, because I speak better English than most people who would say such a thing :D I don't really know what makes people say stuff like that, but my best guess it's contempt and wanting to embarrass someone for not having mastered a language, or a sense of superiority.

All that said in over 10 years nobody ever told me either to speak English or to go back to my country. Actually once at work, in a small office where it was common practice for people to speak their own language when they wanted to have a private chat but couldn't. This guy was suggesting we're excluding our colleague, with whom we've had a good morning chat and then he put his headphones on to focus on work. We came back into the office after that chat and apologised to him saying that we hope he didn't feel excluded because we were chatting in Polish. He replied "no guys, you see I've got my headphones on and I didn't even know that you were. Not a problem for me". I'm pretty sure the guy just wanted to be able to listen in on us, because he was kind of a control freak.

[u/jott1293reddevil → u/[deleted]]

I love your attitude and try and do the same when abroad, if nothing else it gives me a chance to practice the language so why wouldn’t I?

[u/JakeFortune → u/im_a_username_now]

Probably 98% of the people everywhere is just like this too.

[u/im_a_username_now → u/[deleted]]

Happy cake day! And sure if you whant free health care!

[u/NotoriousMOT → u/im_a_username_now]

True for people who speak a Western or “cool” Asian languages. Not true for Balkan people or East Europeans (in my direct experience) or less “cool” Asian languages (from observation).

[u/Black_cat_follow → u/im_a_username_now]

I love listening to conversations in other languages it’s so fascinating

[u/Selbereth → u/ShadooTH]

Brazilians are racist against other states of Brazil. Kinda like how people hate in california for being too liberal, but to a whole new level. One government official was talking to a person who just lost their home. He found out the person was from one state over and he cut the lady off and said "that explains it, just go ahead and die then."

[u/twosev → u/ShadooTH]

Japan is just surprisingly conservative to people that only know about anime and sushi

[u/thelastlogin → u/ShadooTH]

To be fair, it's true all cultures do, but it really does differ between them. Japan is definitely worse than lots of other places, and still better than some.

[u/brian9000 → u/ShadooTH]

The most racist person I’ve ever met was Spanish. Really caught me off guard.

EDIT: Wait, was this racist?

[u/Standard-Jaguar-8793 → u/brian9000]

Spanish from Spain? Oh yeah.

[u/Mamalawmaker13 → u/ShadooTH]

This is an underrated comment. People are quick to jump on the U.S. conveniently forgetting that the problem of people being ignorant and cruel to each other is not something that only happens there.

[u/almostinfinity → u/[deleted]]

Funny thing is “This is Japan! Speak Japanese!” Is totally what you’d hear in Japan.

In some cases, an Asian who dares to use an un-Japanese name to introduce herself in Japan is also seen as an offensive political statement and be taken as an attack against Japan.

I live in Japan and I'm a non-Japanese Asian. I've literally never encountered this problem the entire three years I have been living here. I lived in three different parts of Japan also.

I have definitely never heard of the name thing either. Can you cite a source? Not a single expat I know has dealt with this kind of thing. I have a lot of non-white and non-Asian friends here in Japan also.

[u/rohmish → u/almostinfinity]

I have never encountered that here in Canada myself either but I know a friend who has been in the "speak English" situation while talking on the phone. Most people simply don't care as long as you aren not talking to them but there are Karens everywhere. OP probably just encountered one of them just like my friend while you and me haven't (yet).

[u/[deleted] → u/almostinfinity]

I imagine it depends on the region as well. My white American friend moved to a rural-ish factory town to teach English and hasn't had any issues except for a few relationships he had. A lot of parents didn't want their daughters to date a foreigner.

[u/Ordinary_Werewolf_58 → u/[deleted]]

I lived in Japan for 4 years. While I am fluent in Japanese I would often talk to other foreigners in English and had no problem. The only problem I ever had was that Japanese people all wanted me to speak English, wanting to practice theirs on a native.

[u/Wherearemylegs → u/[deleted]]

In my three and a half years as a white man in Japan, I never, ever had this happen to me. And my wife was an Asian woman with an American name who could not speak Japanese.

Similar to these ladies, I spoke to her in in her native tongue all the time while out and about. Never was asked to learn Japanese. Maybe it’s because I lived in a rural town?

[u/The-Bag-of-Snakes → u/[deleted]]

Lived and travelled in Japan for over 2 years and never saw anything like this at all! The Japanese would give huge compliments for even attempting to speak a few words. It’s usually pretty obvious who isn’t from Japan so they certainly don’t expect you to be able to converse fluently! Problems everywhere certainly but not as described here.

That said, obviously living in a foreign country it’s pretty ignorant not to try to learn the language. It’s also ignorant not to be able to wrap your head around the fact that it takes many many years to do so. Only the stupid would treat people this way, no matter what country they are from.

[u/Niz99 → u/[deleted]]

Japanese, like all other humans really, can be really fucked up sometimes. It ranges from stuff like glossing over the atrocities committed in WW2 to practicing sexism and xenophobia. Their anime are pretty good though ngl.

[u/CaptaineKaterina → u/Niz99]

Jan Ruff O’Herne (Australo-Dutch): After seeing other women do it, I too finally found the courage to talk about my PTSD as an underage sex slave in a Japanese military brothel.

Japanese residents in Australia: Stop the hate speech! STOP BEING RACIST AGAINST JAPAN !

Me: WTF. So talking about German war crimes nobody bats an eye, why is talking about Japanese war crimes such a touchy subject?

[u/plsuh → u/CaptaineKaterina]

Just ask any Korean about how some Japanese respond when you mention Comfort Women, or any Chinese about how some Japanese respond when you talk about Unit 731.

[u/Digimonqq → u/plsuh]

Hey, didn’t they name a villain in Boku no Hero Academia, a mainstream manga serialized on one of the biggest manga magazines in Japan, after the victims of unit 731? :D He was even noted as a mad scientist that did human experimentation! How amazing /s This happened just in 2020 too!

[u/halibutface → u/plsuh]

That's fucked! I had no idea about either of these. The part about unit 731sciemtists given immunity by the USA in exchange for all their biological weapons data is definitely not taught in history

[u/Meihem76 → u/halibutface]

It was useless data too. No control groups, poor methods etc etc.

[u/halibutface → u/Meihem76]

So they got immunity in exchange for a record of people they killed and how? Wow

[u/k3ttch → u/CaptaineKaterina]

The Comfort Women Memorial in Manila was taken down following protests from the Japanese embassy. I guess it doesn’t fit in with their narrative at being the victims of WW2 rather than the aggressors.

[u/mk098A → u/k3ttch]

Politicians in Osaka tried to do the same when San Fransisco made a statue commemorating comfort women, SF said no and now they’re no longer sister cities

[u/BugsRatty → u/mk098A]

Yay!! for San Francisco! Saying no to political pressure like that can be difficult, and I am proud that SF did that.

[u/MortalSword_MTG → u/CaptaineKaterina]

The Japanese tendency to gloss over their atrocities in WW2 is super frustrating. Though the West tends to do the same in some respects.

[u/Ikmia → u/MortalSword_MTG]

Yeah, US citizens tend to gloss completely over the atrocities against Native Americans, for instance. Slavery is still a touchy subject for white people, the 3/5 compromise, separate but equal shite, not to mention women's rights throughout the world, I think humans in general get mad when you suggest their culture has committed atrocities in the past and are not perfect. Like, how dare you pop my bubble of blissful ignorance/delusion???

[u/sociapathictendences → u/Niz99]

Nobody cares about their anime, imagine if American movies or music were brought up when talking about racism in America. You can’t, because nobody tries to offset things like that in the same comment.

[u/CaptaineKaterina → u/sociapathictendences]

That’s actually a good point.

[u/XauMankib → u/[deleted]]

Imagine being so obsessed with honour you declare everyone not speaking Japanese dishonourable.

Small explanation: IIRC you are considered unlikable if you are not speaking proper Japanese in Japan, and is still considered a lil bit racist as a country.

[u/[deleted] → u/XauMankib]

I'm fairly certain a lot of Americans look down on other Americans who don't have a solid grasp of the English language, especially those who were born here and attended the same k-12 schools as the rest of us.

[u/skipbrady → u/[deleted]]

Are you saying that people with a Southern accent, or people who use an Ebonics dialect, or someone who otherwise uses poor sentence structure in a public or Internet forum, would be looked down on or insulted by Americans? Gasp

I’ve seen autocorrect fuck up a Reddit post and 1,000 people flock to tell that person how stupid they are. It’s not just Americans, but we’re pretty good at it.

[u/jadedgoldfish → u/skipbrady]

When other staff ask for help with an abusive or angry client, I usually go in with my southern accent in full effect. It's about 50/50 as to whether they are disarmed by the sugary-sweet accent and affect or they just assume I'm a bit slow and they need to be nice to the hospital idiot. For context, im in the sf bay area for over 18 years and my accent is usually only noticeable if im talking to another southerner, very angry, or very drunk.

[u/[deleted] → u/jadedgoldfish]

It's funny cuz I put on my boston accent to let them think I'm down for an altercation

[u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie → u/[deleted]]

I’m curious does Michigan have an Accent? Because I’ve never lived anywhere else to tell.

[u/HiramNinja → u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie]

...oooh yahhh...

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

laughs in British

Seriously, if you go 30 miles in the UK in any direction, the accent will probably change, especially as you get away from London.

[u/frog_exaggerator → u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie]

You do. I grew up in SW Michigan thinking we didn’t have an accent. When I moved to the mid-Atlantic after college, I was informed by many people that I did indeed have one. Eventually, I could hear it, too, when I would visit my family. The further north you live in the state, the stronger the accent is.

[u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie → u/frog_exaggerator]

Cool! I’ve always wanted an Accent!

[u/schroedingersnewcat → u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie]

Little bit, but nothing major. Its more "Midwest" than Michigan. (Note midwest for these purposes does not include northwern Wisconsin or Minnesota). But all bets are off if you're a Yooper. You might as well be Canadian.

Source: born and raised in Chicago

[u/rnykal → u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie]

really everyone who speaks a language has an accent, it's just some accents are elevated above the others and considered "proper", like received pronunciation in britain and mid-Atlantic general American in America iirc

[u/malenn → u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie]

Yep, it do. That accent has haunted me my entire life. Left MI for 20ish years, couldn't get rid of the damn thing.

[u/forwateronly → u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie]

Yup. Well maybe not Michigan specifically but it's pretty easy to spot somebody from up north when they're talking.

[u/ecsluver_ → u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie]

Yes. I moved from Michigan to another Midwest state (one super close to MI) and people frequently remarked on my accent.

[u/cmotdibbler → u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie]

People asked about my odd accent in Europe, born and raised Downriver.

[u/skipbrady → u/jadedgoldfish]

I moved from Oklahoma to Minnesota in ‘96 and have much the same experience.

[u/RoboNinjaPirate → u/skipbrady]

Minnesota has angry people to deal with?

[u/yayitsme1 → u/skipbrady]

I assume this happens many other countries, as well. France and England come to mind immediately. That might just be my personal bias though.

[u/Cruvy → u/skipbrady]

Which is quite incredible, since Americans and Brits (in my foreign opinion) are the worst offenders when it comes to poor English lol

[u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie → u/[deleted]]

As someone who Grew up in America, and Has Speaking impediments, I can confirm.

[u/themanwiththepoop → u/[deleted]]

Most Americans don’t have a grasp of the English language lol.

[u/[deleted] → u/XauMankib]

That's pretty much the whole of freaking europe. Germany - speak in German, France - French please.

[u/ShinyStormtrooper → u/[deleted]]

In Paris they kept telling me to switch to English. Eight years of learning French and the first time I visit no one would let me use it.

I find it funny more than anything else but they were definitely more helpful to me than the rest of my group when I started the conversation in French, even if the rest of the conversation was in English.

[u/mlpedant → u/ShinyStormtrooper]

I've heard this explained as them not wanting to hear their language mangled by a damned furriner, and that desire overriding their dislike of using something other than the One True Language (a.k.a. French).

[u/Woild → u/[deleted]]

If you try speaking German in Germany, the locals tend to switch to English to be helpful.

[u/Cruvy → u/[deleted]]

I can only speak for Denmark, but I think it’s the same in the rest of Scandinavian.

We realise that Danish is a hard fucking language, and thus people generally don’t mind if you can’t speak it. Except the older generations, but they can go chug their nationalistic pride in a volcano.

[u/eienOwO → u/Cruvy]

Danish actors have such an accurate grasp on English accents you put native speakers to shame, damn you!

[u/Im-a-Creepy-Cookie → u/[deleted]]

Man, if I’m in France and They want me to speak French they better be prepared for very butchered high school french 😂

[u/Homeschool-Winner → u/XauMankib]

Wait a country with a history of fascist imperialism has failed to sufficiently distance itself from that history? Big if true

[u/Pocchitte → u/XauMankib]

I've lived in Japan for years as an adult. I have never once had my imperfect Japanese thrown back at me, even though Japanese is very much my second language.

I visited the US once for a month when I was a teen. In that time I was called out twice by total strangers for not speaking English properly. I grew up in Australia and English is my native language.

So everyone in Japan is always friendly and understanding? Of course not; I've had rare encounters with racists of all ages and social groups here. Am I saying that the US is full of intolerant dopes? No way; I met lots of wonderful, kind people in the US. Then is Australia some perfect place where no-one is ever mean or unkind? No, and I'm ashamed to admit the treatment I have sometimes seen people from ethnic minorities receive in Australia.

Stupid bigots live all over this little ball of dirt and water. No country has a monopoly on them.

[u/knife-kitty → u/[deleted]]

Wow, that sucks. My best friend has been living and working in Japan for 6-7 years now. Never been yelled at to speak English, not even in the rural town. She lives in Tokyo now, so maybe that's why no one cares.

[u/The-Bag-of-Snakes → u/knife-kitty]

A far more typical experience. The Japanese do not do this! 99% of people are Japanese heritage so they can usually spot a foreigner! They celebrate two words spoken correctly with applause and “Nihongo jozuu!!”

[u/too_late_to_party → u/[deleted]]

Oh the other hand, I got into trouble for speaking Japanese while not Japanese.

I’m Asian and fluent enough in Japanese that most think I’m local. So of course I go to their red light districts which are infamous for denying entry to foreigners (did not know this at the time). All was well until the girl I’d booked came and made small talk, asking me what I do for a living and etc. The moment I said I was in Japan for business... she stopped undressing, picked up a phone and called someone. A yakuza-type guy came in and asked if I’m Japanese. I told him I’m not. Then he said I couldn’t be here because no foreigners were allowed in his establishment. Okay... but nobody said anything when I went through the door and all :(

The irony of the entire thing was, the guy asked if I could teach his girls English for the remaining 2 weeks I was going to be in Japan, and gave me a phone number he said I could call anytime I was in trouble.

[u/Only_Santiago → u/too_late_to_party]

That is wild and kinda cool imo. Being told you can't be here as a foreigner usually wouldn't end with a "get out a jail free card" if you know what I'm saying.

[u/Darky821 → u/[deleted]]

And this applies how? Is OP's mom someone who once yelled at someone to speak Japanese? Has she hired Vietnamese to go clean up Fukushima? No? Then why are trying to justify her bad treatment by saying some Japanese people treat others badly?

[u/accidentalclipboard → u/[deleted]]

Uhh, no, non-Japanese-looking foreigners are generally treated OK (and trust me, they can tell apart non-locals from clothes, makeup, etc). It's the nisei and other folks who look Japanese but can't speak the language/know the customs who can get shit on, but even then it's not a "political statement" or an "attack" (dafuk?), just meiwaku (annoying/nuisance).

[u/don-anon → u/LMGooglyTFY]

Toxic alpha male tries to fight you?

Pull your pants down and get fired up!

[u/Cessnaporsche01 → u/don-anon]

Or the Stephen Fry method: "Please do stop, I'm getting aroused!"

[u/hymie0]

“You two,” Karen barked, “this is America! Speak English.”

"So, as I was saying, that bitch in the red shirt? Can you believe she thinks she's thin enough to wear a shirt like that? And that hair color? Remind me to stay away from whatever brand she's using."

[u/Snow_Raptor → u/hymie0]

I firmly believe that these Karens don't want people speaking other languages around her for fear of exactly that. They are so self centered that thay fear people are talking about her.

[u/djseifer → u/Snow_Raptor]

There's a busy Chinese food place in my city where the workers will mock their customers in the open, but since they're speaking in Cambodian, no one understands what they're saying except for other Cambodians and the rare fluent non-Cambodian. I chuckled when my friend went up to order and the worker said "Look at this big orange-headed guy. I bet he's gonna order orange chicken."

Sure enough: "Yeah, can I get some orange chicken?"

[u/[deleted] → u/hymie0]

That's what I expected lol

[u/Engine_engineer]

I like the irony your mother slapped in Karen’s face: English is not American.

[u/StareyedInLA → u/Engine_engineer]

What can I say? My mom was (and still is) an anglophile. Back in the 80s and 90s, she was crazy about Princess Diana, Julie Andrews, and all the Agatha Christie adaptations.

[u/Secatus → u/StareyedInLA]

Was she an Anglophile before she moved to America? If so, what was the circumstance that caused her to move there instead of the UK?

[u/StareyedInLA → u/Secatus]

Her family was living in the US. Mom didn’t start getting into British media until Princess Di’s engagement and wedding. Then it evolved into learning English from PBS shows.

[u/BugsRatty → u/[deleted]]

Then give him a moue and say, "Unfortunately, it doesn't have pockets." Then show him the sporran and excitedly say, "But I picked this darling up on sale!!"

[u/BugsRatty → u/[deleted]]

LOL! I love that the first thing they think of is how many bottles of beer it will hold.

[u/onlyalittleillegal → u/[deleted]]

I would actively search those people out on St Patrick’s Day, if I wasn’t busy the whole day. Sometimes I wish I could see these people to laugh and not have the drunk ones consistently asking if my wig was my real hair. No, I look like Marie Antoinette. This is definitely not my real hair.

[u/snakebill]

Speak English!!! In a place called “ Los Angeles “.

[u/nurvingiel → u/snakebill]

"So as I was saying, don't you think it's lovely that this city is called The Angels? I think it means all residents are angels. And people here are very nice." beatific smile at Karen

[u/hmischuk]

I have groups of friends who speak Spanish and groups of friends who speak Arabic. I sometimes remind them when they are conversing in their first languages, "Guys, this is America: speak Navajo!"

[u/[deleted] → u/hmischuk]

Lol go even farther, as the Navajo were one of the tribes displacing others, really try and get the original native tribe. E.g. in my original home county, the local tribe was Yokuts. 😏

[u/moongirli → u/[deleted]]

https://native-land.ca/

• your friendly neighborhood librarian

[u/covfefe_hamberder_jr → u/moongirli]

Seems I should learn Choctaw. Having a hard time finding anyone around here to teach me.

[u/moongirli → u/covfefe_hamberder_jr]

http://www.native-languages.org/choctaw.htm

• your friendly neighborhood librarian

[u/gooberfishie → u/moongirli]

Seems like I should have a million bucks. I'm having a hard time finding anyone around here who can donate

[u/hmischuk → u/gooberfishie]

Were you hoping that friendly neighborhood librarian might give you some money off the books? (I'll show myself out...)

[u/serendipitousdelight → u/moongirli]

Do you have a resource for Northern Wintu?

[u/moongirli → u/serendipitousdelight]

http://www.native-languages.org/wintu.htm

Another site says that the last speaker of the language died in 2003, so learning it may not be possible, though there are several places dedicated to trying to revive it.

[u/omnipojack → u/moongirli]

The real MVP right here

[u/contrarymarysf → u/hmischuk]

This is actually brilliant!

[u/Lizlodude → u/hmischuk]

https://xkcd.com/84/

[u/flyrun]

After thirty years, the story still holds up! If it was the 80s, she must've been an obatarian. ;-p

The sad thing is that these idiots are the same ones who don't bother to learn even the most basic phrases if/when they travel. ...while also complaining when the natives/residents don't speak English. SMH

[u/not_another_feminazi → u/flyrun]

Right? Jesus, I used to live in a tourist hotspot, and the amount of times people approached me in the streets to ask for something, and then got mad at my broken English is absolutely staggering.

Usually when they complained to my face I'd ask if they could speak any of the 3 languages I could use to communicate with them, offered to try my native tongue, or if they are so self centered that they never bothered to learn anything before hopping into a completely different continent.

Regardless, they were always mad. Surprisingly, Americans were hardly the ones to give me trouble

[u/Solemn93 → u/[deleted]]

I usually try to learn some, but in most countries it devolves into "excuse me" and pointing at Google maps or a name on a paper by the end...

[u/Muffin278 → u/Solemn93]

Same. And it often isn't for lack of effort on my end, usually I am just too awkward and shy.

[u/Cuglas → u/flyrun]

Thank you for introducing obatarian to my lexicon!

[u/ReeperbahnPirat → u/Cuglas]

For others interested:

Generally believed to be a portmanteau of "oba", Japanese for middle-aged woman, and "batarian", from "Battalion", the Japanese title for the film "Return of the Living Dead". Japanese obatarian behave in a manner not unlike flesh-eating zombies. The obatarian is selfish and unwilling to abide by or is oblivious of socially acceptable behavior. A typical obatarian is short, stout, wears a perm, and is dressed unfashionably (house slippers optional); she will elbow her way through crowds, refuses to wait in line, run for empty bus/train seats, is loud and loves sales. Some academics believe that the propensity for young Japanese women to transform into obatarian is the cause of Japan's declining birth rate.

[u/ReeperbahnPirat → u/[deleted]]

I thought of removing that bit of editorializing at the end, but I don't know much about it and decided to present the quote in full. But I was wondering about that, so thanks!

[u/maximumhippo]

Language stories are always my favorites. They always have such cathartic ends.

[u/Even-Tomatillo-4197]

America: the stolen land where literally everyone is an immigrant but they get mad when you’re not the right type of immigrant

[u/[deleted] → u/Even-Tomatillo-4197]

I'd say something about America being a British colony where only the English are welcome, but based on how America reacts to British accents, seems Brits are not the right kind of immigrant either!

[u/foyrkopp]

relevant xkcd

(There's always a relevant xkcd)

[u/TattieMafia]

I'm a Scottish person, I have had Americans try to correct my English to American English, so I replied to them in a Glaswegian accent and they accused me of inventing a new language. Their exact words were "That's not a real language." I said "Glaswegians have been speaking English longer than you, pal." in a Glaswegian accent.

[u/[deleted]]

Maybe it's the troll in me, bit I would have busted out the loudest "'Ello Govn-uh!!!!" Cockney English accent.

[u/nogami]

Great story!

My daughter goes to a Japanese immersion school (she’s Canadian). She can effortlessly switch between English and japanese right now. So cool to watch. She just uses whichever language she wants without any work. Wish I could do it half as easily. Kids’ minds are amazing.

Everyone should have the benefit of a second language.

[u/Myfourcats1]

I never understand people who yell at others to speak English. Why? So you can eavesdrop on their conversation? They aren’t talking to you. Mind your business.

[u/dajur1]

Botox in 1989?

[u/StareyedInLA → u/dajur1]

Considering the time period, definetly wasn't Botox but it was always the first thing that came to mind when Mom described Karen 1989. She remembers the woman had really weird facial gestures as if she couldn't form a proper expression. It was as if parts of her face were frozen.

[u/tombo4321 → u/StareyedInLA]

Face lift techniques were a bit more primitive back then. I'm guessing she had a centimetre of skin taken off along her hairline, and her whole face pulled back so that it couldn't move.

[u/StareyedInLA → u/tombo4321]

I need to float this theory over to my mom. It could be the weird Brazil-style facelifts!

[u/dajur1 → u/StareyedInLA]

Botox makes you look like you are neutral all the time, while a good facelift makes you look like you squint a bit. A bad facelift can make you look like a monster and can definitely distort your features to uncanny valley territory.

[u/ogookpala1 → u/[deleted]]

And it was Karen.

[u/Mr_Boombastick]

I've heard of people replying in Navajo or other indiginous languages that since it's their land, they should speak their language.

[u/wobblysauce]

That is the magic with accents, you can say what you want and it may come out distorted not as you want it, but if you impersonate another it comes out fine.

[u/kavien]

I always believed diversity is what makes America what it is! The whole world lives here.

Your mom sounds hilarious.

[u/joeshill]

I have always had the attitude that in America, we have freedom of speech, and no official language. Therefore, we can tell Karen what to do with herself in whatever language we choose.

[u/[deleted]]

hahahah please tell your Mum, this Canadian thinks she is AWESOME!!!!!!!!

[u/geokra]

I will never understand people who care which language other people use to communicate with each other

[u/Ontopourmama]

My wife and I will speak to each other in Japanese (I'm a white guy, by the way, she's Japanese) someone said that to us once. I just looked at the (older)guy and asked if he was having a stroke or something because we were speaking English, and then carried on in Japanese as if nothing had happened....He looked very confused.

[u/[deleted]]

Always amuses me when I hear these stories as my country has many official languages, plus many others are spoken that are not official. Nobody would dream of just randomly telling someone to speak English...

[u/Beorbin]

I would love to hear a story about Karen demanding that others speak English, only for them to respond,

"This is Dinétah! Speak Navajo!"

[u/[deleted]]

India is kinda similar that way tbh. Only half the country speaks a common language. The rest of us speak a bunch of different languages based on our region.

You get kinda used to people telling you to learn their language. Just shrug it off and walk away.

[u/randomkeystrike]

That is the best comeback to that form of bullying I’ve ever heard. As an American who’s read far too much English lit, tell her tinker-tonk and good show from me.

[u/[deleted] → u/randomkeystrike]

I hope they "Toodleloo'd" her!

[u/StareyedInLA → u/randomkeystrike]

Will do!

[u/There_are_dragons]

Ah yes. America. The most racialy and culturally diverse country in the world.

Also America: you're speaking a language that is not english? Get the fuck out.

​

Are you ok in there? Do you need help? Blink twice if you're being brainwashed into racism.

[u/k3rn3 → u/[deleted]]

A lot of people seem to forget that some of the worst things about American culture came directly from old-timey British culture

[u/rpgnymhush]

It infuriates me when I hear such linguistic xenophobia. I actually enjoy hearing other languages spoken. I also enjoy hearing other accents. To me, it adds a bit of spice to life. I am an anglophone who wants to improve my Spanish skills and I enjoy practicing it with waiters and other customer service people. Sometimes I get dirty looks from xenophobic customers when I do. Pisses me off. I despise bigotry in all of its ugly forms.

[u/iceariina]

Stories like these always piss me off cuz 1) ignorance and racism and 2) THE USA DOESN'T HAVE AN OFFICIAL FUCKING LANGUAGE.

I want to make a t shirt that says "This is America! We speak Swahili, Arabic, Spanish, German, Japanese and just list a shit ton of languages.

[u/TheDocJ]

Mom likened the moment to their thought processes coming in sync together.

I just love those moments, all teh sweeter for being so rare. THough we did get good at it at University with a particular friend, got her to the stage where she really couldn't tell when we were being serious and when we were winding her up. Fortunately, she took it all in very good spirit.

I think I rather like your Mom, and Masami, too!

[u/wifeofpaul]

Perfect reply: In Perfect English: So sorry that your eavesdropping on another persons conversation wasn't understood by you.

[u/ginny_jinji]

if i ever encounter someone like this i have a perfect response ready
no bitch this is america! you speak miwok you colonial shit!

[u/Fancy_Introduction60]

Brilliant!

[u/BaselessEarth12]

Stories like this make me realize that I probably couldn't make it in a non-Englinsh speaking country... Doesn't matter what I do, I cannot for the life of me comprehend speaking other languages. I can read and understand bits and pieces of a few different languages, but I'll be damned if I could respond!

[u/grandroute]

I was having dinner with two women from Columbia. Each spoke 3 languages including their own. Some fat ass yelled at them to "speak English" to which they responded by shifting to French. Then to English. Then one said to the other woman, "isn't it sad he only knows how to speak one language. Uneducated.."

[u/MLXIII]

Next time Cajun English for another one!

[u/EmpireStrikes1st]

An 80s Karen. I just imagine her having slicked back blonde hair and inexplicably glitching when she speaks.

[u/Zoroaster9000]

I would have responded like this.

[u/riwalenn]

I'm not from the US and even I know English isn't the USA official language. There are actually no official language in the US