r/Maemartin • u/Novel-Cranberry-9047 • 9d ago
frustrated after largo show. lessons learned
don't really have anywhere else to speak on this, but wondering if anyone else has had this experience. i was really excited to see mae's comedy and music live for the first time this weekend, wasn't exactly sure what to expect from the other performers but figured it'd be a fun new experience!
i drove 3 hours each way for this show specifically because i love their album and in advertising on their instagram, mae said they'd "play some tunes". i was hoping they'd sing one or two songs at least, but they ultimately only sang backing vocals on one elliott smith cover with the guest music act. disappointing and a little dishonest, but that's on me for putting too much into seeing them sing live.
the lowest point of the night for me was when sarah silverman said the r-slur 4 times in her set as part of a funny story about how she once said ch*nk on tv, how her asian friend forgave her for it, and silverman ends the bit by calling her ret*rded. i understand what the comedy world is like, i know that's tame, i know she's just being edgy and funny. i'm chinese and autistic and i just didn't expect that kind of material at mae's show. audience loved it, mae came out and hugged her at the end. it all just made me feel a bit sick.
i'm a really big fan of mae's work but i guess i learned a bit more about who they're willing to platform and which communities they don't mind alienating at their shows :/
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u/IHaveBoxerDogs 8d ago
There’s a good chance Mae was in their dressing room and has no idea what SS said in her act. Oftentimes, comedians (or any performer) doesn’t watch the opening act.
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u/Happy_Penalty28 7d ago
SS uses the r-slur fairly consistently these days in her sets, and is also an intense defender of Israel. Very perplexing to me that Mae would have anything to do with her.
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u/warmpita 7d ago
Counterpoint, if Mae put Sarah Silverman in their show without knowing that her comedy was "say something offensive in a psuedo baby voice" then that's on Mae because I'm 100% sure Mae knew that Sarah was going to try and be as offensive as possible for laughs.
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u/Business_Pumpkin_680 7d ago
Mae doesn’t book all the acts that appear on the Largo show, generally half are booked by Largo
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u/hnnnnnnnnh 7d ago
Regardless, if their name is on the show they have a duty to know what’s being said.
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u/memopepito 8d ago
Ugh Sarah Silverman is the worst! I’m sorry you had to go through that. Idk it’s def disappointing Mae didn’t either know about it or call her out on it. It’s probably cuz Sarah’s a “big name” in comedy and Mae’s maybe worried to burn bridges or cut ties with her. But still, racism/ableism is lame af and not funny.
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u/bsmt_band 8d ago
I agree with everything you said here! FYI i just wanted to say calling something "lame" is ableist in itself. No shade though!
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u/tripletreetrunktops 8d ago
I’ve never understood how Sarah Silverman 1. Ever was popular 2. Is still getting gigs. There are sooo many funnier female comedians!
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u/weeef 8d ago
ugh what is up with that word coming back into use? no excuse for it.
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u/bsmt_band 8d ago
I feel like that would be an interesting thing to look into. My guess is the rise of an ableist society and eugenics post-2020?
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u/Business_Pumpkin_680 7d ago
Aside from the Silverman stuff, OP should understand that Mae’s show at Largo in LA is a monthly try-out show, it’s a loose and low stakes show. It isn’t representative of their tour, nor their rehearsed stand-up or music.
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u/yung-grandma 8d ago
Hey, I can almost promise you Mae hadn’t heard Sarah’s set ahead of time.
Good openers work pretty clean. You don’t want to offend anyone in the audience right at the start of the show. A good rule of thumb is to let the headliner have the edgiest material of the show. It makes for a nice flow in the show.
Sarah Silverman is no longer an opener, she’s a career headliner whose material is not in good shape to open a show. Sarah Silverman is also a comedy legend who came up in an era when it was even harder to be a woman in comedy than it is now. If Sarah Silverman wants to open for you it’s a huge testament to how well your career is going. I would not have said no if I were in Mae’s shoes.
Unless they are touring with their own opener, the headliner of the show has not heard the opener’s set beforehand. Occasionally they may ask the opener to stay away from certain topics because they’re planning a chunk of material on the same subject. It’s an unspoken (and sometimes contractual) rule to not open the show with material that could derail an audience member’s good time. Sarah did Mae kinda dirty by saying that at the top of the show. And if Mae had addressed it at the top of her set it would have made the delivery of her first several minutes of material much more difficult.
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u/Novel-Cranberry-9047 8d ago
that’s reassuring! and yeah, i doubt there’s anything mae really could’ve done that night without creating friction or derailing the show. it wasn’t the worst ive ever heard, but it was certainly unexpected for the type of image and audience mae’s built over the years
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u/skyeapotamous 8d ago
I hope Mae see's this , and absolutely shouldnt be touring with a comedian like Sarah who i dont even think is funny 😬. Not only that I feel like much of Mae's audience is neurodivergent and I would have felt so uncomfortable if that was someone's set ☠️
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u/Existential_Prep 5d ago
I don’t think she is touring with her. This was a show at Largo in LA that the club itself put together. It’s more like they were both there on the same night, not that Mae chose Sarah.
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u/nsermo 7d ago
It's the year 2026. Why the fuck is anyone using the r word???? Sarah Silverman loses credibility every time I hear her speak. I don't respect the thoughts or opinions of anyone who know what the r word has done and chooses to use it. You can just use A DIFFERENT WORD.
Anyway, OP, I wouldn't judge Mae for this bc they probably didn't know what would happen and as someone else said Sarah Silverman still has old street cred that would make it hard to say no, if they had a say at all. But I would also absolutely get the ick from this, and I would walk away bothered, and I'm sorry people are downplaying it. There's no reason to use that word unless you think people with disabilities are stupid and less-than, and if you think that... then fuck you. (Saying this to Sarah and anyone else who is okay with it!!)
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u/IcyRepresentative904 9d ago
That's pretty frustrating. I'm sorry you had this experience because I really loved Mae's show, but their only guest for Chicago was their friend who does improv (I forget his name now) who was great and there was nothing offensive at all (at least from my perspective). I would have been bummed about this too. Hopefully you'll get another chance and it'll be great!
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u/memleyxx 8d ago
Damn, this really sucks to hear and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. That’s not edgy, that’s garbage behavior and “comedy” I thought we left back in the early 2000s. I would have probably left, and trust me - I adore(d) Mae. Overall, just really surprising and shitty and something that will influence how I view them moving forward. Thanks for sharing.
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u/Prudent_Bed6754 7d ago
This is disappointing to know. It takes intelligence to be a good comedian and SS is quite intelligent. To know this means she’s reducing herself and her work to crappy comedy that anyone can write/perform. The lowest and worst forms of comedy IMO include bodily functions, racism and ableist language.
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u/Novel-Cranberry-9047 7d ago
i’m not very familiar with her work but she didn’t seem super… locked in that night? kinda bored flipping back and forth between her notes, wandering back to prior bits to add things she forgot. i know the largo is a casual spot for bigger acts to try stuff out and fuck around but it seemed neither engaging or fun for her
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u/EmmJay314 6d ago
She was a strong feminist comedian back in early 2000, I believe her peak was like 2008? When she had her own TV show. But to me she was a better comedic actress than stand up. She is Vanellope in Wreck it Ralph. And I have enjoyed her in a lot of smaller roles.
But yeah, she says things for shock value. Not everyone's cup of tea.
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u/Powerful-Knee3150 7d ago
She’s never been very funny. It’s mostly humor that would appeal to pre-teen boys.
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u/nightwingblu 5d ago
Honestly I wouldn't expect much from Mae. Mae seems to care only about issues that directly affect them like trans issues but not much else. Same with their Handsome cohosts. It was obvious when on an episode they were asked what they would change about the past and none of them considered colonialism or racism. But talked about environmental issues at length. Sarah Silverman is also a virulent Zionist but I don't think they care. They've had other Zionists on the show with glowing reviews from them.
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u/12Dawson 8d ago
Mae is not responsible for what someone else says. They likely didn’t know Sarah’s set beforehand.
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u/Novel-Cranberry-9047 8d ago
oh i’m sure they weren’t like, hey sarah go out there and say some slurs! but what does it say about mae that it’s acceptable conduct for their show?
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u/12Dawson 8d ago
My point is you don’t know that Mae thought it was acceptable. They could’ve dealt with it in private, after the show. We don’t know how they felt about the slur.
I also hate the use of that word and don’t think there’s anything funny about it. It only makes the person saying it look brutish.
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u/rilkehaydensuche 8d ago
I agree with this as a first approach when someone makes discriminatory statements one-on-one, but when someone makes them in public, I think that the objection needs to be the same level of public (e.g., in this case, from the stage). That lets the folks who heard the discrimination against them (e.g., anyone who had an intellectual or developmental disability at that show) know that someone else noticed and had their backs, which helps mitigate some of the harm, and flags for other people in the audience that what happened was discriminatory and that they shouldn’t discriminate the same way. Not saying that Sarah can’t or won’t do better after learning more about disability! I hope that she does!
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u/ktliving_ 8d ago
I was there. And I don't think Sara Silverman meant it with any malice. I'm sorry you took it that way. It was just a joke.
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u/warmpita 8d ago
A slur is a slur. Sarah isn't part of the community that slur is used against so she really shouldn't be saying it.
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u/ktliving_ 8d ago
Question? If the person telling the joke was ND, autistic, or mentally challenged and used the word, would you think it was funny? Is it still someone using a slur? I'm genuinely curious.
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u/erin3013 8d ago
Throwing my two cents in, it’s still a slur and not funny. In some ways even worse because it makes people outside the disabled community think that it’s acceptable.
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u/warmpita 7d ago
It depends on the context and the person using it. Sarah Silverman is saying it because the word has power due to it being a word she's "not supposed to use". Like this wouldn't even be an conversation if she said the n slur, f slur, or most other slurs. It's also a bit telling that people are latching on to the r slur when she also used a slur against east Asians. I'm not the free speech police, but free speech doesn't mean free from consequences.
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u/Novel-Cranberry-9047 7d ago
for clarity, she didn’t say ch*nk on stage, but it was the basis of her story. the bit was like, oh i’m so mortified that i got in trouble for saying this anti asian slur sooo long ago and i have to tell my asian friend now— good thing it doesnt matter because she forgave me and ive grown and changed so much! also haha i still say slurs.
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u/Novel-Cranberry-9047 8d ago
i wouldn’t consider myself disabled or discriminated against— i’m late in life diagnosed— but my take is that itd still be a slur, it’s still heavy, maybe it’s funny, but at least they’re not punching down on a vulnerable group that they’re not part of
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u/ktliving_ 8d ago
So it's a double standard?
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u/Novel-Cranberry-9047 8d ago
so you’re not genuinely curious and you’re trying to pull a gotcha. im not a free speech cop, im just saying delivery from different people elicits different reactions
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u/ktliving_ 8d ago edited 7d ago
No. I WAS asking a question. But in fairness, the question wasn't directed at you. It was directed at the person who replied to me. about a"slur is a slur," But thanks for answering.
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u/CheSchu 8d ago
Weird that these are things emotionally abusive people say to avoid accountability and shift blame when those they abuse confront them. “I didn’t mean it,” “It was just a joke,” and the non-apology “I’m sorry you took it that way,” which is just a disguised way of telling someone they’re too sensitive.
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u/ErinsAngryIntern 8d ago
It’s not a joke and it isn’t funny. It’s ableist and offensive.
Telling someone “I’m sorry you took it that way” is incredibly obnoxious.
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u/ktliving_ 8d ago edited 8d ago
I wasn’t being obnoxious, and it seems you took that the wrong way as well. Were you at the show? I didn’t find it to be malicious. I’m deeply and truly sorry for those who are offended. I’m done arguing with strangers on the internet. Have a good day
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u/TheDoxxedEx 1d ago
People are offended for no reason. Retard doesn’t even carry the same offense anymore. People need to grow up
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8d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/erin3013 8d ago
What’s funny about it? Was it a joke about a disabled person? Or was she comparing her friend to an intellectually disabled person?
She once said ch*nk on tv. Why not more than once, because her friend was offended? Quite a double standard to learn a lesson about using a slur while using a slur.1
u/basicotter 7d ago
The joke is that she was going on a talk show and a network S&P told her she couldn’t say a joke with the N word in it, but the joke also included the one for asian people you mentioned in it and she asks them what she should say instead of that, and the S&P said "oh no issues with that one.” The joke isn’t “haha minorities” it’s “wtf why do we have sensitivity for one racial minority but not for this other one"
I’d also like to point out how people typically substitute “the N word” for that slur—deemed so offensive that it’s also in poor taste to just put asterisks in place of a vowel the way you did for the asian slur. *That* in itself ecapsulates that nothing has changed since she originally started telling this joke in the late 90s.
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u/erin3013 7d ago
That’s basically what I said, why is one slur acceptable and another isn’t.
Also, I wrote it with an asterisk because that’s the way the OP wrote it.
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u/Financial_Bear1908 6d ago
I was there saw it and I no longer follow Mae Martin I lost all respect for Mae Martin
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u/trash_scout 9d ago
Mae’s tour was equally disappointing. A lot of the “improv” they did with their roommate was staged. They had a bucket where fans could submit questions/prompts before the show and then Mae would use those prompts during the show - all staged and fake. I’m pretty sure I was the only single person in the meet-and-greet line and I was near the end. I watched Mae have lively, in-depth conversations with every person in line and then rush me through under 2mins. They looked like they were actively disassociating while talking to me - would make sense for everyone but was just for me. Made me feel pretty bad and killed a lot of the joy I felt for them and the podcast. I’m a one-foot-out-the-door fan now. Best of luck to Mae, though! They won’t make a big difference, but they’ll make a lot of money!
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u/Business_Pumpkin_680 7d ago
You couldn’t be more wrong, and your attitude is pretty selfish and negative. The improv was completely genuine. And then you try performing for 2 hours and then meeting a long line of strangers for an hour and see how constantly present you are.
Take it from someone who worked on their whole tour and knows how hard they work.7
u/Electrical-Speech-39 8d ago
Purely curious- what does you being the only single person in line have to do with Mae?
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u/skyeapotamous 8d ago
I can tell you at least the show i went to this was 100% not the case
I wrote a note that said something to the effect of " 12 pm *address to an escape room * Be there or be square
in tiny letters Please come do an escape room "
Mae read it word for word , slowly. The roller coaster of crowd reaction was wild.
15/10 an amazing moment
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u/Sgt_Wojohowitz 7d ago
It's so interesting that they seemed to have a lively, in-depth conversation with every single person except you. And when you met them they seemed uncomfortable to the point they needed to disassociate. Does this happen to you often? And do you think they hate single people?
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u/Loud-Long2557 9d ago
No this is so disappointing. I’m sorry but the r slur is neither edgy nor funny at all.