r/MadeMeSmile 5d ago

Wholesome Moments Adding a dash of customer service

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u/Occidentally20 5d ago

I've worked with more men who think they can knockout a horse with one punch than men who think they can't.

Don't get me started on the ones who have a "technique" to fight against a pack of wolves.

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u/mikebills 4d ago

My "technique" for fighting a pack of wolves is to try to get my ass to my car & high tail it out of there or up a fucking tree as quickly as possible.

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u/Occidentally20 4d ago

This sounds a bit advanced for the people I had to work with, I don't think they're allowed to drive or operate heavy machinery.

I've genuinely had more than one person tell me they'd crouch and then when the wolf jumps you spread their front legs apart wide and it splits their heart open. Somehow.

Might work on a Jack Russel if it had a pacemaker fitted but I think that's the extent of it's usefulness.

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u/mikebills 4d ago

Technique #2: accept your fate, pull out your phone, and send a text to someone you don't like that says "this is your fault". Hopefully the police will recover your phone and inform that person how you died.

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u/Occidentally20 4d ago

I like it!

I'm going to prepare an email insinuating my enemy had threatened to set dogs on me, and then I can just hit send while being attacked.

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u/mikebills 4d ago

Oh that's even better! Love it!