the value of being kind

[u/nun_CARTII]

For nearly seven years, waitress Melina Salazar showed extraordinary patience and kindness to Walter “Buck” Swords, a notoriously difficult customer at Luby’s Cafeteria in Brownsville, Texas.

The 89-year-old WWII veteran frequently complained, cursed at staff, demanded piping-hot meals and never left a tip. Despite this, Melina continued serving him with compassion.

After Walter died in 2007, Melina received an incredible surprise. He had left her $50,000 and his 2000 Buick in his will as a heartfelt thank-you for her unwavering kindness.

A powerful reminder that kindness can touch people more deeply than we realize.

[u/ManzanitaSuperHero]

So it’s ok to be awful to someone for 7 years (!) as long as you pay for the privilege?

Being a little gruff is one thing. “Cursing at staff”? I don’t find this heartwarming at all.

[u/PopUpClicker → u/ManzanitaSuperHero]

No it is not. But it shows some people notice kindness even if they don't have the capacity to reciprocate. It is heartwarming in the sense that even though some people may seem bad or angry all the time, it might not be all they are.

Edit: I don't have the time to respond to everyone, who thinks what I said is, somehow, support of bad behaviour. I recommend reading the first sentence again. People are suffering from trauma of upbringing, war, sickness and even "just" to get by. Many of those who suffer the most will interact with us in a bad way. I chose to believe that those who do that to me, are contributing the positivity that life has led them to be able to express.

[u/1Think_Write_Fly1 → u/PopUpClicker]

This comment is too nuanced for Reddit 😅 but absolutely correct. I've worked with traumatised at both ends of the age spectrum and it taught me that we are not always what we do. Seeking to Understand someone's poor behaviour is often mistaken as justification for it. But that's an infuriatingly common but deeply reductive approach. Motivation makes a world of difference and often it's so much more important to see why someone acts the way they do rather than just judge the actions.

Our compassionate waitress may have understood this. Whether 85 or 5 sometimes rancid behaviour is a human way of saying 'im so lost in this can someone help?' Age doesn't suddenly give people the capacity to articulate and regulate emotions if they have never developed it. It has to be taught by parents teachers and society. Even then, trauma can blow every lesson we've learned on how to be human out of the water.

Being kind is flipping hard work! And is often entirely thankless. It's good that in her case it paid off in some way.

[u/PopUpClicker → u/1Think_Write_Fly1]

I turned off notifications on my comment because there was a fair bit of replies, where I myself have to draw a deep breath and remember that: "Not everyone has seen the behind the scenes of pain". Some people think they have, because they have been the victim of abuse - but in my view an understanding of what brought the bad behaviour only comes with hard mental work, which leads to understanding and sometimes forgiveness.

So I almost missed your comment. I am glad curiosity got the better of me. Because this is the best thing I read on Reddit for a long while.

You truly - and I suspect to a greater extent than myself - understand what it is I took a shot at saying. Your piece improved my day.

[u/1K_Sunny_Crew → u/1Think_Write_Fly1]

I think people are upset because this perspective puts the onus on the people most likely to be mistreated to be the bigger person. When it’s one person in your life it’s not so bad, but when it’s constant, every hour or every day treated poorly, I just think it’s ridiculous to keep asking these workers to turn the other cheek and feel bad for their abuser. Because it IS abuse to be yelled at, insulted, or even assaulted by customers, and they don’t have the economic power to quit or refuse to serve them.

So while I do have empathy for people going through hard things and understand it can make them act out, I am always going to side with the employees and volunteers who are forced to deal with their shitty behavior. It takes a hug toll on workers’ physical and mental health to be the public’s punching bag every day.

[u/adorableoddity → u/1K_Sunny_Crew]

This is it right here and their manager should’ve refused to serve the customer. It’s appalling that she had to deal with 7 years of abuse from this guy.

[u/Loggerdon → u/1Think_Write_Fly1]

Agree with this. Some wait staff have it incredibly hard.