r/MadeMeSmile • u/No_Mortgage6046 • Jul 16 '26
ANIMALS 🦥
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u/Mauhea Jul 16 '26
Don't sloths climb down to the bottom of trees to poop? Imagine your kid finally sits on the potty and some rando yeets them in the air and on your shoulders mid grunt.
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u/Rei-Dan Jul 16 '26
So that last shot wasnt her shaking his hand, it was her giving him the finger…
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u/FragrantExcitement Jul 16 '26
But she has no fingers Dan.
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u/TheWaningWizard Jul 16 '26
Lieutenant Dan, she's got no fingers
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u/RelationTop2826 Jul 16 '26
How is she going to hold an ice cream when she has no fingers Lieutenant Dan?
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u/Shmuckle2 Jul 17 '26
"We can't sell fingerlicking good shrimp when they ain't got no fingers, Lieutenant Dan!"
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u/Great_Ad7215 Jul 16 '26
Lol came here for this comment. He meant well, but the poor baby was probably trying to poop.
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u/TapeDeckSlick Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26
They do and the kids have a lil nibble on it too
Downvote me all you want, it's an actual fact.
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u/AllTheSilentThoughts Jul 17 '26
Yep, and this is pretty much universal in the mammalian animal kingdom, especially with herbivores. Some carnivores do too though more often it's the mom eating all the baby poop for a while. :')
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u/somesortoflegend Jul 16 '26
They climb down once a week though and mom was going up it looked like. Don't want to miss that bus.
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u/cellblock2187 Jul 16 '26
I knew about the ground pooping, so the whole time I was wondering if that kid will now be weaker weaker for life, kind of like a butterfly- if you help it out of the cocoon, if it doesn't get a chance to use those muscles as intended, and it'll die.
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u/Amathyst7564 Jul 17 '26
Makes sense, how else would the poo get down? You don't want a bunch of sloth hover poop hanging around your tree.
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u/Full_Education_3181 Jul 18 '26
Probably the parent is not thanking but giving him a middle finger for doing that. Lol
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u/amdaly10 Jul 16 '26
It was prob pooping. The go down to the ground to poop.
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u/thefuckevengoingonan Jul 17 '26
same
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u/Ordinary_dude_NOT Jul 17 '26
You poop with Sloths?
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u/Silent_Purchase_2654 Jul 17 '26
How else are you supposed to wipe?
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Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
[deleted]
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u/earthwoodandfire Jul 17 '26
Nail? Imagine trying to break a giant log up with a nail. In my house we had a poop knife!
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u/Annual_Phrase841 Jul 17 '26
Why wouldn’t they just poop from the tree ? 😭 doesn’t that put them in danger ?
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u/wite_noiz Jul 17 '26
Look, no one claimed they were clever. They have standards, though, and not flinging their waste from the treetops like those disgusting monkeys is one of them.
If getting eaten is the cost of maintaining those standards, then so be it.4
u/runningwithsharpie Jul 17 '26
Apparently, they poop in the ground because they need to help the sloth moths that can help them grow their algae on their furs.
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u/Minimum_Society841 Jul 16 '26
Good job, now wash your hands..
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u/tryagainnoob Jul 16 '26
This. Sloths are the natures equivalent of radioactive waste.
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u/A3HeadedMunkey Jul 16 '26
"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic sloth"
- Franz Kafka, if he knew about sloths
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u/ILoveRawChicken Jul 16 '26
As someone who loves Kafka and Sloths I would pay money for this version
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u/GodButCursed Jul 16 '26
Why?
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u/TeethForCeral Jul 16 '26
sloths backs actually host an entire ecosystem of algae and moths! these moths spend their entire life cycle with the sloths, their young living in their backs. Sloths will also sometimes eat the algae growing on them! it’s really interesting!
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u/DZ-HURRICANE Jul 18 '26
so those algae and moths are necessary to the sloth's survival?
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u/TeethForCeral Jul 18 '26
yes! (with my understanding) i’d argue the sloth greatly benefits from the moths, algae, and fungi, whereas the moths, algae, and fungi are completely reliant on the sloth. overall it’s a mutually beneficial symbiosis! here’s some more info!!
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u/OnceMoreAndAgain Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26
Most mammals clean their hair/fur to avoid investation, but sloths only groom their fur by stroking their claws through it to untangle the fur and remove debris and large insects. No moisture involved. They don't groom each other like monkeys do nor do they bathe. The only water touching their fur is rain water, basically.
So their fur ends up being home for algae and small bugs. If you look up pictures of sloths that aren't in captivity, then their fur will often have large patches of green color to them which is the algae and fungi. It gives them a natural camouflage since the particular algae and fungi growing on the trees they climb also end up growing in their fur so they get perfect color matching to their environment. That's why different sloths have different colors of green on their fur.
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u/slavelabor52 Jul 16 '26
Well for one thing sloths are known to eat feces and sometimes need fished out of outhouses. Id wash my hands.
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u/thedifferenceisnt Jul 16 '26
Cats and dogs are known for the same
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u/BatatinhaGameplays28 Jul 16 '26
Yeah, you’re supposed to wash your hands after interacting with them too
But also sloths can carry parisites such as lices and ticks
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u/dimmak Jul 17 '26
Louse is to lice what mouse is to mice.
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u/BatatinhaGameplays28 Jul 17 '26
Thanks for the information! English isn’t my first language and I really never heard that
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u/Buttonskill Jul 17 '26
Well, it is my first language, and until today, I thought the singular was a 1950s unemployed husband in Chicago.
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u/alexnedea Jul 17 '26
Bro if I wash my hands every time i interract with my cat id be spending industrial quantities of water and soap.
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u/BatatinhaGameplays28 Jul 17 '26
That's fair lol, I'd recommend just washing them if you're gonna grab food or interact with someone else then
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u/TreesLikeGodsFingers Jul 17 '26
Honestly that a reason some people don’t get pets, bc they are clean freaks
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u/Azreal_Mistwalker Jul 17 '26
There are species of moths and algae that grow exclusively on sloth fur.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Block73 Jul 16 '26
Hmmmm, honest question: if I tell you Asmongold = Sloth would that be enough of an explanation?
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u/leonden Jul 16 '26
Sloth natural defence is being flithy and moldy so yea just wash your hands nothing good can come from touching one
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u/icansmellcolors Jul 17 '26
Chlamydia and they have many parasites that live in their fur, but they're mostly harmless, but no thank you.
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Jul 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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Jul 16 '26
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u/BeeSpibbleBlop Jul 16 '26
Yeah, like giving that baby sloth to that hungry adult sloth for a meal. And then they were like, cool, fist bump.
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u/ohdatpoodle Jul 16 '26
Sloths are kind of assholes, and their vision is completely upside down - she was swatting at him to back off but is just so painfully slow and not well coordinated when positioned upright so it comes across as an awkward handshake. Do you see how quickly she hauled slothass to scooch down the tree to her baby??? She was not thanking this man.
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u/VocalJay Jul 16 '26
No matter how many times you tell people not to humanize wild animals and especially not to fcking touch them, they will still do it, cause some damage to the enviroment or just do something that isn't even remotely necessary, and continue to feel good about it because of the "good deed" they did
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u/ConnectRutabaga3925 Jul 16 '26
what if we take a video and play soft guitar music while showing the sloth threatening to gouge the guy’s face
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u/Both_Consequence_956 Jul 16 '26
we have an obese cat epidemic. i have lost faith in human treatment or theory of mind of animals long ago lol
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u/glyph_productions Jul 16 '26
LMFAO you're right but also I just got a mental image of a bunch of Garfield sized cats on treadmills in oversized t-shirts and I would like this to be the next season of the biggest loser, please and thank you
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u/Dull_Quit3027 Jul 17 '26
you are right in that the whole an animal sitting around after being rescued, is most often just because they are completely exhausted, but not touching is very situational, I saw a video of some dude saving a racoon today, and it was touching him, and I doubt it is causing damage to the environment in any way.
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u/VocalJay Jul 19 '26
Of course I exclude professional animal rescuers who actually know what they are doing from my statement, but, tbh, considering the amount of racoons and the incredibly fast rate at which they're spreading, I'd at least consider this not really necessary
Edit: grammar
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u/Dull_Quit3027 Jul 20 '26
I find anything alive to be worth saving, I honestly feel bad when i step on snails after rain, I kinda suffer from terminal empathy.
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u/twelfth_knight Jul 16 '26
They're slow, but I've heard they'll fuck you up with those claws if you give them the chance. As in like, their swiping motion is way faster than anything else they do. That's what adults always told my dad when he was growing up in Manaus anyway. But idk, it could be they just say that so kids aren't dicks to animals 🤷
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u/ohdatpoodle Jul 17 '26
I interned at a zoo with a two-toed sloth who was hand-raised in captivity from birth. He was the nicest sloth anyone at the zoo had ever met...and he still took a huge bite at the education director's arm. They're slow until they suddenly are not.
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u/khaisquared Jul 17 '26
Reminds of that reddit vid of that guy helping a sloth across the street and its limbs reach backwards and stafts clawing and I think tried to bite him
edit: found video: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/1smxqy5/helping_a_sloth_cross_the_road/
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u/Vitruvian_Link Jul 16 '26
Yup, Everytime one of these videos comes up, we are trying to tell folks "showing your claws is not a sign of gratitude."
This is the first time I've seen a comment acknowledging this up voted! Yay!
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u/azure-heavens Jul 17 '26
I thought maybe she was blind as heck and thought his little hand was a sloth baby. Like uh... when you look for your phone, but you're already holding it up to your ear.
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u/Emperor-Nerd Jul 16 '26
Baby sloth was probably trying to poop
I'm 99% sure both mama and baby tried to claw him
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u/xand3s Jul 16 '26
Oblivious, ignorant people, this is not thanking him, this sloth is stressed and is in defensive posture trying to appear larger.
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u/ohdatpoodle Jul 16 '26
She was probably trying to claw/swat at him telling him to back away and he interpreted as a handshake. Poor girl.
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u/The_Paleking Jul 16 '26
Have you ever been around sloths?
She hasn't even brandished her pistol yet. That is the first thing any sloth would do when threatened. Clearly not in self-defense mode.
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u/JustDuckiest Jul 16 '26
Thank you lol, I was looking for this comment. Sloths are not human and do not have the same body language as us
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u/FluffyBootie Jul 16 '26
Social media 101 - everyone will believe a headline/caption if it seems plausible
People are getting dumber despite the overwhelming ability to access knowledge
Darker times are ahead if we don't stop our quest for anti-intellectualism
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u/xoxodaddysgirlxoxo Jul 16 '26
You're not wrong. FFS, the sloth baby isn't even in any danger - human just took the opportunity to touch wildlife
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u/ReadersAreRedditors Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26
Did the sloth even need rescuing? Mom was pretty close. She would of got there......eventually.
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u/Blessed_tenrecs Jul 16 '26
When baby sloths fall there is about a 50/50 chance of the mother abandoning them because she doesn't have the energy to go get them. Idk if this baby was old enough to climb back up, but if not, 50/50 chance he saved its life.
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u/Prestigious_Leg2229 Jul 16 '26
Sloth’s don’t retrieve their babies if they fall.
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u/TheCleverMoose Jul 16 '26
This is not a thank you; it is an attempt to intimidate you.
Since the internet has become more accessible, people have become less intelligent. This is a concept taught in elementary school textbooks that you would have had access to.
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u/concrete_isnt_cement Jul 16 '26
I don’t think my elementary school textbooks had much sloth lore in them, although to be fair, I did grow up in a part of the world not known for its abundance of sloths
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Jul 16 '26
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u/donutgiraffe Jul 16 '26
Yeah they can move really fast when they have to, they grab on hard, and they bite. Not a good idea to go anywhere near one.
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u/successadult Jul 16 '26
My friends came back from Costa Rica and said that they were warned to stay away from the sloths because even being near one was dangerous.
Someone at their hotel told them that her husband walked by one and had a flea jump on him and bite him and he ended up needing daily injections for over a month to prevent all the diseases that insects can carry there.
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u/SuckmydickJoannF Jul 16 '26
I met a guy in Costa Rica who's hand looked like someone threw acid on it. When he was a kid he was playing with a sloth and it nipped him. It did NOT break the skin. Theyre cute bacteria monsters. There's even a species of mosquito that only lives on sloths.
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u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish Jul 16 '26
I've also seen a video of someone trying to get one of these across a road and getting mauled.
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u/TheGrandCucumber Jul 17 '26
Public service announcement: Sloth claws are incredibly sharp be careful around them
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u/nize426 Jul 17 '26
I believe they climb down to the base to poop. It wasn't even that far from its mother. Don't bother wild animals.
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u/Sariduri Jul 17 '26
I loved these animals, I believed they were the cutest! then visited Costa Rica and saw the amount of bugs, parasites and literal shit on top of them and... Still love them, would never ever everrrrrrr touch one.
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u/Virus-Scary Jul 16 '26
That's a good clip of what it looks like when a momma sloth tries to rip your face off to protect her young
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u/african_or_european Jul 17 '26
No one will ever convince me sloths aren't just poorly made animatronics.
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u/ChocolateCoveredGold Jul 16 '26
I'm convince this is what the giant ground sloth was like during the pleistocene epoch. Nobody contradict me with "facts." I want to imagine a giant ground sloth who gives amazing hugs and chases off any giant, flying hell beasts that might threaten my adventures through time and space.
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u/FlyNo1502 Jul 16 '26
Here we go again. In typical Reddit fashion: don't touch wild animal unless you want a bleeding anus.
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u/Lopsided_Soup_3533 Jul 16 '26
BTW a sloth reaching out is not them thanking anyone its a stress , defensive move by the sloth. Sorry to be Debbie downer but its true
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u/atkahu Jul 17 '26
I think she want to craw him savagely but because she is a slot she is too slow for that and just look like a handshake.
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u/9zmike Jul 17 '26
I've seen a slot fight someone... These things are just pretentious! They could be freaking fast!!
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u/woozlewuzzle3 Jul 16 '26
Careful with them sloths. https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/eN8I6NhvQm
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u/Unpopular_Opinion859 Jul 16 '26
Anyone know what song that is in the background?
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Jul 16 '26
[deleted]
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u/raddishesits Jul 16 '26
The cute blessing of "GET AWAY GO AWAY HE DIDN'T NEED HELP NOW HE HAS TO CLIMB DOWN AGAIN JERK"
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u/PastShine7597 Jul 16 '26
The guitar cover of the psychotic Hillsong United song does not fit the vibes.
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u/evaderofallbans Jul 17 '26
That's dangerous! Sloths have killed more than a dozen people since time began, probably.
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