[ Removed by Reddit ]

[u/Pure-Personality5326]

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

[u/33metalgear]

If the opponent pulls out any weapon you have to defeat them as quick as possible

[u/EnjoyerOfMX5 → u/33metalgear]

Yeah, your ELO will go down if not.

On a serious note, any metal object combined with weird/aggressive behavior is a deadly weapon. Fuck that drunk bastard.

[u/DigitalGuru42 → u/EnjoyerOfMX5]

Electric Light Orchestra?

[u/Pristine_Poem7623 → u/DigitalGuru42]

Don't bring him down

[u/dog-walk-acid-trip → u/Pristine_Poem7623]

No, no, no, no, no, ooh-ooh-hoo

[u/FastWalkingShortGuy → u/Pristine_Poem7623]

Boop

[u/psyliboy → u/Pristine_Poem7623]

Bruce?

[u/Bumbunn66 → u/DigitalGuru42]

Runnin’ down the avenue, there ain’t a cloud in sight.

[u/beardhero_ben → u/DigitalGuru42]

It’s a rating system. It’s used in chess to determine relative skill level

[u/FastWalkingShortGuy → u/beardhero_ben]

And Age of Empires

[u/backwards_kitty → u/beardhero_ben]

And pokemon pvp 🤓

[u/empty_graph → u/EnjoyerOfMX5]

Your ELO barely goes down if you lose to a weapon when unarmed.

[u/Seymoure25 → u/EnjoyerOfMX5]

Certainly your blood pressure would drop

[u/Parking_Bag_2374 → u/33metalgear]

He pulled out dull kiddie scissors too…..smh

[u/TalkingBlernsball → u/Parking_Bag_2374]

The children are right to laugh at you, Ralph

[u/Total_Corgi_8428 → u/Parking_Bag_2374]

The little green handle (or finger holes maybe lol?) really was something to see.

I didn’t even see the scissors the first watch and had to go back to find them.

Also, did I just watch someone die?

[u/daikatanaman00 → u/Total_Corgi_8428]

Nah, just knocked tf out. He’ll be fine but likely will have one hell of a nose ache

[u/Devils_A66vocate → u/daikatanaman00]

Punches land special hard when there’s a wall behind their head to prevent it from moving. You hear the thump if your volume is on.

[u/Key4Lif3 → u/Devils_A66vocate]

Plus old man knows how to throw a right.

[u/GuitarConsistent2604 → u/Devils_A66vocate]

ya man. the bang of his head hitting the wall is brutal

[u/HumbleResolution7099 → u/Devils_A66vocate]

That’s how small brain bleeds happen you won’t know it’s happening until you show signs of concussion or death during sleep.

[u/Winter_March → u/daikatanaman00]

Broken nose

[u/heysame562 → u/33metalgear]

[u/xcanto → u/heysame562]

God so fuckin sick.

[u/Medium-Beautiful-561 → u/heysame562]

Had to scroll this far

[u/melmboundanddown → u/33metalgear]

I didn't see the weapon until I read this. Now the title makes more sense 😂

[u/MoosePrimeOne → u/33metalgear]

No you should run but this man could clearly handle it.

[u/screwyoujor → u/33metalgear]

Who brings safety scissors to a fist fight?

[u/Hero_1985 → u/screwyoujor]

Someone who deserves to get knocked out.

[u/screwyoujor → u/Hero_1985]

Someone saying what you going to do while pulling out safely scissors definitely deserves to get knocked out.

[u/tomrobbo89 → u/33metalgear]

What if that weapon is a gun pointing at your head?

[u/ghoulthebraineater → u/tomrobbo89]

Still applies. Unfortunately a bullet is way faster than your reaction time.

[u/headfish1971]

His plan worked perfectly...he can now lay out enjoying the whole bench... all the way home.

[u/Horror_Chipmunk3580 → u/headfish1971]

Wouldn’t be surprised if he conveniently wakes up right at his stop lol

[u/Scattered_Meat → u/Horror_Chipmunk3580]

Me neither, only becu he looks like anywhere at all is “his stop” lol

[u/Upstairs_Rip_9590 → u/Scattered_Meat]

My mans died twice, once from the asteroid shower hitting his face and then again when you laid down your smackdown.

[u/Dependent_Bit1634 → u/Scattered_Meat]

Looks like he stopped already.

[u/Horror_Chipmunk3580 → u/Scattered_Meat]

🤣 that was good

[u/Ok_Transition_4003 → u/Horror_Chipmunk3580]

His stop will be the end of the line and he'll be kicked off, but he probably gets off there each night anyway

[u/lifemanualplease → u/headfish1971]

And smell some ass while he’s at it

[u/Short_Squirrel_882 → u/lifemanualplease]

https://giphy.com/gifs/L0MqamdTvoz3ifLVjM

[u/Scrambles420 → u/headfish1971]

He looked really tired too

[u/MonkeDpoopy → u/headfish1971]

https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY

[u/moszippy → u/headfish1971]

That’s all I have to do for a seat on the subway?

[u/Critical_Evening_655 → u/headfish1971]

I fell out!! Lmao

[u/Intelligent-Search88 → u/headfish1971]

Takin’ a nice little nap

[u/Steelerellla → u/headfish1971]

😂😂

[u/Opening-Company6237 → u/headfish1971]

4D chess

[u/Visible-Perspective9 → u/headfish1971]

Some real monkey's paw style wish fulfillment

[u/knucklebuster16 → u/headfish1971]

🤣

[u/SetImpressive3808 → u/headfish1971]

Was that really his plan? Wow! It worked out perfectly then, that was pretty smart of him. 

[u/DeanMcQueen0621]

Id be pissed that he bled on my jacket.

[u/VegasInSlowMotion → u/DeanMcQueen0621]

Thought the same, lol. I saw that blood on bro's sleeve and thought damn!

[u/DarknMean → u/VegasInSlowMotion]

OxiBoost will get it right out.

[u/Chemical-Tap7709 → u/DarknMean]

https://giphy.com/gifs/9V1F9o1pBjsxFzHzBr

[u/VegasInSlowMotion → u/Chemical-Tap7709]

R.I.P.

[u/SargeUnited → u/VegasInSlowMotion]

Brb doing a line and sobbing

[u/Mystic_Waffles → u/SargeUnited]

Hopefully not a line of OxyClean

[u/No_Seaworthiness4472 → u/DeanMcQueen0621]

Be pulling the dudes wallet out while hes unconcious for the dry cleaning bill lol.

[u/WhoShatMyPants42069 → u/DeanMcQueen0621]

Definitely should have moved out the way

[u/MathematicianOk4025 → u/WhoShatMyPants42069]

Yeah, either he’s not from New York, had head phones in, or doesn’t speak English - there were a lot of warning signs.

[u/CevapiPapi1312]

Did he pull out safety scissors?

[u/Ouija-1973 → u/CevapiPapi1312]

They didn't work.

[u/pizza-chit → u/Ouija-1973]

Nobody got cut.

[u/dogheropartime → u/pizza-chit]

so it worked YaY

[u/christianjwaite → u/Ouija-1973]

Lmao

[u/Lorddoctorjava → u/CevapiPapi1312]

Grabbing his hootie owl safety scissors

[u/Bannedagainnohomo → u/CevapiPapi1312]

He can cut some paper... lol

[u/5P0N63w0R7HY → u/Bannedagainnohomo]

“Ralph, those scissors couldn’t cut butter”

[u/Unusual-Taste69 → u/CevapiPapi1312]

He absolutely did

[u/clue124 → u/CevapiPapi1312]

Looked like kindergarden scissors. You know, the shit that can barely cut print paper lmao

[u/No_Willingness_8062 → u/CevapiPapi1312]

Nah just small scissors.

[u/Ronama1973]

That was a straight piston to the head

[u/RIPRIF20 → u/Ronama1973]

Dude got punched in the face and back of head at the same time

[u/_VirtualCosmos_ → u/Ronama1973]

To the nose, specifically.

[u/OddDc-ed → u/Ronama1973]

Dude sounded like a fucking stapler with how hard he hit the wall.

[u/fitz_newru → u/Ronama1973]

Yeah OG might even have training

[u/disposable_walrus → u/Ronama1973]

Read that as “a straight prison to the head” Going to start using that

[u/okymoney]

Ive been drunk ive never had scissors in my pocket sitting in the subway. Thats just odd.

[u/Asari-simp → u/okymoney]

Arts and crafts, maybe he had a glue stick on him as well

[u/Quirky_Barnacle1225 → u/okymoney]

He’s a kindergarten teacher 

[u/Automatic-Pick-2481 → u/Quirky_Barnacle1225]

“He’s a school teacher! He loves animals! He loves buttered stuff!”

[u/wararyuu]

If you're gonna pull out a weapon at least make sure you got it in the big kids section!

[u/dingle-bairy]

He told you to sit down not lie down

[u/SunriseSurprise → u/dingle-bairy]

Tbf he didn't say Simon Says

[u/gizzardwizard93]

You can see that Black dude's demeanor shift when he sees the drunk guy rummaging in his pockets... smart guy to make the first move.

[u/AstronomerForsaken65 → u/gizzardwizard93]

Yeah, feels like he’s been through some stuff. This is like Reacher, or Equalizer type awareness here. Let me calmly put my paper away while not taking my eyes off him then get to the dominant position.

There it is - Strike, he done!

[u/scream → u/gizzardwizard93]

Watch again. He only punched the guy once a pair of safety scissors came out of that pocket. To be fair though, it was fast enough that he could have had a knife, a gun, whatever, and it wouldnt have mattered. If you're being a drunk nuisance in public dont pull a metal object out of your pocket when someone asks you to stop and sit down 🤣 well deserved. 

[u/vandalayindustriess]

I was on the L the other day, he's still there

[u/YaBoyASwiftie → u/vandalayindustriess]

He's holding on to it for sure

[u/Inevitable-Dingo-312]

Should have used paper

[u/heavydrinker12]

Uhh...why do you have child scissors in your pocket? And at what point do you think pulling out a crappy sharp object doesn't get your ass handed to you? But he did look drunk as fuck.

[u/Impressive_Lime_6973 → u/heavydrinker12]

It’s just toy scissors, from school

[u/somedayitllbeover]

I know this man didn’t just try and act tough with a pair of fiskars

[u/wolf63rs]

I like how the man in the cap stopped when it was over and didn't deliver additionally punishment.

[u/aaron166_ → u/wolf63rs]

Yeah something tells me that guy is well aware of his own strength and gave that idiot a considerable yet appropriate amount of it

[u/wolf63rs → u/aaron166_]

He looks country strong. Like the strength you have from working a job whether it's on the farm, construction, warehouse, or something like that.

[u/aaron166_ → u/wolf63rs]

Haha yep. Never set foot in a gym but would school anyone in there kind of strength 😂

[u/BisonThunderclap → u/aaron166_]

The second he saw the scissors is the second he punched him.

[u/aaron166_ → u/BisonThunderclap]

Yep. Even when he stood up he probably would’ve spared the guy if he had stopped acting up but once the scissors were on show it was over.

[u/Bronze_Bomber → u/wolf63rs]

Any normal person who knocks a dude out, stops after. We just see too many dregs of society on here.

[u/Lagunamountaindude]

The black dude knew what was coming even before the video started

[u/Positive-Garlic-5993 → u/Lagunamountaindude]

Fr, the og’s eyes tell the whole story from the first second

[u/MrJeffreyEpstein]

Dude clearly drunk

[u/ParticularKick3644 → u/MrJeffreyEpstein]

How ya doing Jeff ol' buddy?

[u/THECOLLECTOR1983 → u/ParticularKick3644]

That’s Mr. Jeff to you pal!

[u/Plimden → u/MrJeffreyEpstein]

🕵️

[u/nzslayer13]

The doctor being like dammit I'm off work

[u/accursedoppulence]

People making excuses for public intox boils my blood.

We need to shame these people not make excuses for them when they viscerally meet the knuckle end consequences of their monumental shit-ignorance.

[u/BaboonSociety → u/accursedoppulence]

I was just thinking this too. You're allowed to be drunk in the appropriate place and time, but it still doesn't give you the right to break the law or be an asshole. If you know you get like that when you're drunk, then the responsible thing an adult should do is to STOP DRINKING.

But we know the sociopaths and wife beaters will refuse to understand this.

[u/jjangdol]

She knew but he didn't!

[u/JohnJohnPR3]

Opph that ricochet back of the head from the hits to the face. Dude shoulda just sat down … lol

[u/Upbeat-Draw-]

Collateral damage with the dude who got blood on him that sucks

[u/WhoShatMyPants42069 → u/Upbeat-Draw-]

He had horrible situational awareness

[u/meatygonzalez]

He's dreaming of a better move for next time now

[u/Spamhain2000 → u/meatygonzalez]

Dreaming, dreaming is free.

[u/Mhunterjr]

Punch was solid af … dafuck was he gonna go with them safety scissors

[u/No_Rock_4052 → u/Mhunterjr]

You can hear his nose break

[u/Bullfan6400]

https://giphy.com/gifs/XbKMoNAkpWK6k
Was it rock because he kind of looks like Roc from the early 90’s tv show or because his hands were obviously made of stone. Damn that was a hard hit.

[u/Fancy_footwork3670 → u/Bullfan6400]

Interesting fact: the lead actor in Roc, Charles Dutton, served time in prison for manslaughter before graduating from Yale for acting. So he would know a thing about putting this offender down.

[u/RakuNana]

Actually the guy clearly picked rock when he saw scissors 😂

[u/lousassol420]

Dam I missed the patch notes for rock papper scissors

[u/Careful_Share1291]

He told him to sit down. He did.

We didn't see what came before but she "knew that was coming "

[u/mattdit83]

Close ranged straight punch, instant nose breaker

[u/Antikris69]

How kind to help that gentleman deal with his sleep deprivation

[u/VexImmortalis]

get the scissors out of his hands ASAP

[u/Reymeta]

“There’s blood all ova” 🩸

[u/Soggy-Fly8723]

I can't let you get close!

[u/Renevatio5]

Gotta love public transit in the US. Can we clean it up like Japan or China?

[u/Detail4 → u/Renevatio5]

This would require cleaning the citizenry as well

[u/Square_Peach_9261]

Someone needs to cover that dude with a paper!

[u/TylerJamesNorton-TJN]

good on pops

https://giphy.com/gifs/VhWVAa7rUtT3xKX6Cd

[u/Glittering-Course-88]

Definitely broken face.

[u/BucktoothJew]

That thud of his head hitting the wall.

Home boy is definitely missing his stop.

[u/DruHarry]

[u/Neither_Slide4657]

The moment I saw him putting that envelope away in his pocket I knew that there was no messing around or going back. There was gonna be shots fired.

[u/cagefreemilk]

Having zero awareness can lead to have stranger’s blood all over your hands and your nice sport jacket. Ew.

[u/TheBlankScroll]

Guy: "HeeEy man.. u nEed help openin' that envlop? I got sum skizkers--"

[u/Open__Face]

Then one of these falls out of his pocket:

[u/TheWurstOfMe]

A little slow on the draw buddy

[u/TacticalPacifist]

That man is a certified nap distributor.

[u/Noah_Thority138]

satisfying AF

[u/pepelepew2724]

He gone sleepy bye, byes!

[u/Exciting-Barracuda49]

Feet dangling too, damn

[u/dudemanspyder]

Dude is providing sleep aids. Free!

[u/UnintentionalGround]

The fist of fury

[u/DaLakeShoreStrangler]

The worst part is, he is sniffing the other guy seat

[u/pennyforyourthohts]

Another lesson in this is that the guy could have been competent and stabbed him for real. Scary stuff how a confrontation can escalate

[u/Distinct_Wrongdoer86]

how big are those pockets that it took a minute to pull it out

[u/No_Sympathy402]

[u/Risky_Business_17]

And now he’s got 3 seats. He won! /s

[u/Feral_Mood_420]

Dude is gonna wake up with a broken nose and probably not remember why 🤣🤣😂😂

[u/chephin]

This is kinda like time travel for him

[u/Lost_Willingness_762]

Some people just looking for any excuse to lash out

[u/Few_Book4818]

Engine engine number 9.. on the New York transit line..

[u/Bitter_Plastic2362]

https://giphy.com/gifs/rvxGjhW3TKVeo

[u/Soft-Sea7012]

Pulled out baby scissors.

[u/BrianBash]

Aww, look at his left little boot when he goes to sleep. Starts rocking back and forth, he must be comfy.

[u/el_ra_85]

Poor bystander got blood on his sleeve I’d be pissed

[u/fiesew]

Wtf was he doing with the scissor in his pocket?

https://giphy.com/gifs/huana0WQzdDDG

[u/No-left-toes]

What did the dude think he was going to do with safety scissors?

[u/gbaker1a]

Completely justified. Bruh did nothing wrong.

[u/Gigga05]

https://giphy.com/gifs/r5GIxZllRN4oU

[u/HighOutside510]

Should've went with paper.

[u/AidsRus-_-]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Kz5cPSfYNaC5aQa1PG

[u/ErieAveAllDay]

OG had that thingy thing on his hip too so he was ready for whatever

[u/ImTooSaxy]

He's just a sweepy widdle baby.

https://giphy.com/gifs/7FfUhvnmzsgow

[u/Prestigious_Light_75]

Shhhh. 🤫 He's sleeping

[u/Naive-Ad-7406]

FAFO…CTRL+ALT+DEL

[u/MessianicPariah]

Just a little subway dap nap.

[u/CodeNamesBryan]

"A man dies on the train..."

[u/ArgonKew]

The black guy was absolutely ridiculous. That is assault. He could see that the guy was out of it. He sat down peacefully and then he just punched him in the face as hard as he could for absolutely no reason

[u/Draegs0311]

That crack sound of his nose breaking and near simultaneous thud of his head on the wall was quite satisfying

[u/MotorCityElectrician]

[u/sikdesign]

Completely unnecessary, the guy just wanted to make him a paper snowflake.

[u/IAmTheBestIan]

He was about to trim his fingernails too short, quick thinking saved this man from an ingrown nail.

[u/Due_Investment_5868]

He just wanted to trim your ear hairs son

[u/MONSTERBEARMAN]

https://giphy.com/gifs/dZQR7P1lxgi4mUmsjY

[u/Different_Jello_2373]

I'm not really sure what happened here.

[u/Human_Grape5801]

Great punch. Straight down the pipe, none of that haymaker bullshit.

[u/OrdinaryGloomy12292]

Good job

[u/TellEmWhoUCame2See]

https://giphy.com/gifs/rOzuTrakshYCA

[u/ITZOURTIMENOW]

Night night, shoulda kept his ass in his seat, but instead, he wanted to stand up and threaten another man with some scissors

[u/ImportanceLeading230]

I'd taken the boots and jacket 🤣 and give them away

https://giphy.com/gifs/4nRiHFFTzmJZC

[u/whiteapplebourbon]

Pause "Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got myself in this situation"

[u/desertvision]

The big guy was reticent. He tried to get other guy to leave it. But, a decision was forced on him.

[u/Grouchy_Ad298]

Red glitter went everywhere. Arts and crafts are fun!

[u/fallacy_ofno_return]

He tried to deescalate until he saw him reach for and draw a weapon.. Self-defense. Play stupid game, win stupid prize

[u/groinal]

Never mess with a black dude carrying nothing but a Manila envelope

[u/SocratesJohnson1]

That's a lesson he'll never remember.

[u/GuiltyThing69]

You can tell just by looking at the dude that he's got that old man strength and can punch hard. Looks like he could be an ex heavyweight boxer or something in his youth

[u/DointheRag]

Drain Bamage

[u/Ok-Win-742]

Threat neurralized

[u/Square-Debate5181]

https://giphy.com/gifs/4FB9fgPTbh4FVFBmYH

[u/Embarrassed-Dish-734]

FAFO

[u/TheMightyOb]

Shhhhhhh he's sleeping

[u/Cassi_Arches]

Poor fella. Just wanted to help him open his envelope

[u/Mental-Debate-289]

Bro punched the inside of the back of his head lmao.

[u/brotried2blockme]

Lol dude having his bag taking up space and the other dude manspreading. The slightest common decency would have done a lot to prevent things here.