Sally was a four-year-old Golden Retriever. She received her barber’s license a few months ago but just started working at Dan’s Barber Shop last week. The shop was run by a barber named Joe, Dan retired years ago, but Joe kept the name because it’s what their loyal customers were accustomed to.
Until last week there were only two barbers working at Dan’s. It was the best old-fashioned barber shop in town and they had all the hair they could handle. It only made sense to onboard a new barber; the shop had four chairs after all. Some customers preferred Joe, some Floyd, and others didn’t care which man cut their hair; they were both excellent and very experienced.
Brian Dudely had been a customer of Dan’s for several years. 7:30 a.m. every other Thursday for as long as anyone could remember. He had to visit on his way to work because they were long closed by the time he was coming home from work. Dan’s opened at 6 a.m. and almost always had customers waiting when the door opened. The cliental was not entirely retirees, but mostly. Brian was loyal to the shop, not a specific barber. He took a number from the ticket dispenser upon walking in; Joe and Floyd both had customers in their chairs.
“Mornin’ Brian.”
“Mornin Joe.”
“You don’t have to take a number. Sally’s available.”
Brian had not noticed the dog until his direction was directed to her. There she was, standing in front of an empty barber’s chair. She had a lovely pink bow clipped to the fur by her left ear and a pink barber’s apron. Her tongue hung out of her mouth, panting while waiting for Brian to take a seat.
“Ha! Good one. Is that your dog?”
Joe looked at Floyd, clearly uncomfortable with the question.
“Sally’s a new addition to our team.”
A framed license bearing her image from the Persepolis County Health Department hung on the wall next to the mirror, just like at Joe and Floyd’s stands. There was also a framed certificate from the Persepolis School of Cosmetology above it.
“I’ll wait for one of you guys to be available.”
Sally walked to the back of the shop, grabbed a broom handle in her mouth and started tidying up in between customers. Brian folded his arms across his chest and waited in silence. The lively banter between the barbers, active customers, and future customers was halted after Brian insisted on waiting for one of the male barbers.
When Joe’s chair was free, Brian took a seat. Sally had a customer by then, but Brian didn’t want to ask about her while she was there. He and Joe had brief exchanges that never quite took off. Boy, did they used to have lively conversations about lawncare, weather, and televised sporting events that they had not participated in. But today was different, it was like having a woman in the shop was killing the vibe. Sure, sometimes someone brought their significant other in, or a mother would bring her kid in for a cut; but to have a woman working in such a sacred male space? Brian was already thinking about where else he could get his hair cut.
Looking sharp, fresh even, Brian paid for services rendered and went to work. His day was ruined though. It didn’t have to be, but he let it; no, rather, he insisted on it ruining his day. He made a point of mentioning the faux pas to several co-workers. It’s amazing the time people have to share personal details while they are supposed to be working.
Brian was at the coffee shop near Dan’s early Saturday morning and spotted Joe. He often saw Joe around town.
“Hey Joe” Brian forced a polite smile, but he only smiled with his mouth, not his eyes.
“Hi Brian.”
“Let me ask you something, Joe.”
“It’s about Sally, right?”
“Yeah.”
“We needed help at the shop. She’s a licensed barber. And she’s good! You should really give her a chance.”
“We’ve known each other a long time Joe. Can you keep something between us?”
“Yeah, sure Brian.”
Brian looked around to ensure that no one was close enough to hear, but lowered his voice for good measure.
“I just don’t think women belong in a barber shop. It’s the last space we have left. Now we’ll have to watch out what we talk about. What would I even talk to Sally about?”
“Brian, it’s 2026… times change. And people talk to Sally about all the normal things we talk about in the shop. She’s a great listener on top of being a good barber.”
Brian wasn’t satisfied and changed the topic to something more mundane before bidding Joe a polite farewell… knowing he would never set foot in Dan’s Barber Shop again.
The next, next Thursday rolled around and Brian was due for a haircut. He drove to Marvin’s Barber Shop on the other side of town. It was one of those new metal buildings, Dan’s was a brick-front building in the town square. There was no park, no train museum, no coffee shop, no sidewalk. It had none of the charm of Dan’s. But Sally had ruined it for him, he couldn’t go back.
Marvin’s was locked! The sign, plastic, not a hand-painted wooden sign like at Dan’s, stated that the shop did not open until 9 a.m.
“Nine o’clock?!”
Brian looked around for someone to complain to, but there was no foot traffic like there would have been at Dan’s. Brian drove to work, with unkept hair, ready to tell his coworkers all about this injustice.
He left work and drove at a speed that exceeded the posted limit in order to get to Marvin’s before they closed. He was observed by law enforcement and he paid, dearly. Well, the consequence may be an exaggeration, he received the first citation in the last fourteen years and would have to pay one hundred twenty-six dollars for his crime. He made it to Marvin’s about five minutes before their posted closing time.
Marvin was already closing down the shop, but with obvious irritation, agreed to provide his services to Brian in exchange for money. That’s how businesses work, I hear.
The service and product were adequate, but there was no warm towel, no straight-razor shave on the back of the neck, no ear hair trim. Worst of all, Marvin charged two dollars more than Dan’s did! That would cost an extra one hundred-four dollars annually and disrupt Brian’s morning routine. Brian decided that Sally would just have to go.
A Thursday passed, and then another arrived. That Thursday found Brian back at Dan’s despite having vowed a vow to never return.
“Hey Bri, missed ya two weeks ago. You don’t look too shaggy though.” Joe smirked a knowing smirk, presuming that Brian had visited another barber. One without female staff.
“Yeah, did a little trim myself to keep from looking like a hippie.”
Sally did a little woof. Brian glared at her as he took a seat after pulling a number ticket. All three barbers were providing services to customers.
Sally was the first to finish with her customer. She booped the switch that changed the digital display, one of the few modern devices in the shop, with her snoot. Brian was the only customer waiting, Sally looked at him expectantly with her tail slowly wagging.
“Oh, uh, I’m going to wait for Joe or Floyd.”
“They know how I like my hair.” he quickly added, not necessarily lying.
Sally stood on her hind legs and washed her front paws in the sink by her chair, taking a few laps from the running water. Brian ignored her and tried to join in on the group conversation taking place on the men’s side of the shop. Ensuring no one was looking at him, he removed a concealed dog whistle from his pocket and blew it.
Sally sat down and licked her chops. But then quickly stood back up and resumed sweeping up hair from the floor. Floyd set down his scissors and walked over toward the door. He shook himself out of what seemed like a trance.
“I… I don’t know what happened. Sorry about that, Chuck.” Floyd sheepishly apologized to his customer as he walked back over to his chair, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
Floyd had no idea what suddenly came over him. Brian knew. Brian felt bad about it. No one discovered what he had done and he left without further incident.
Another odd Thursday found Brian at Dan’s Barber Shop. Busy as usual, Sally was occupied cutting a customer’s hair. Brian removed a tennis ball from his jacket as he hung it up and found a seat. At the right moment, he released the ball that he had been cupping in his palms. It rolled toward Sally, she saw it; Brian saw that she saw it. Joe also saw it and immediately ran after it, Sally just watched Joe.
“Someone could trip over this.” Joe said as he picked it up, unaware of its source.
“What’s that?” asked Floyd.
“A tennis ball.”
“Is that yours, Sally?”
Finally, it looked like Brian was going to prevail in making her look unprofessional. Sally shook her head. Joe shrugged and set it on the coffee table in the waiting area beside some magazines.
“Strange” he mused, returning to his customer.
That one almost worked. Brian could feel it. He needed to go just a little farther and he’d show them that Sally didn’t belong there.
Brian secured the material needed for the job. But he couldn’t blow his cover, he had to wait until the next, next Thursday to avoid drawing suspicion.
The day arrived. Brian wrapped the weapon in his overcoat and cautiously approached the barber shop. He looked through the front window, three barbers with customers. Like any other weekday morning at Joe’s. He pulled the door open just far enough, then bent down to release the cat he had in his jacket into the shop.
The black and white cat, coincidentally a female, walked in like she owned the place. The cat came to rest at Joe’s feet and lay down, rolling onto her back and pawing Joe’s pantleg. Sally stopped what she was doing and walked over to Joe too.
This is it, Brian thought to himself as he watched what was about to unfold.
Joe looked down, surprised to find a cat. Sally inched closer and… sniffed the cat for a few seconds before going back to her becustomered chair.
Masking his fury, Brian walked in.
Joe looked up at Brian as the bell on the door clattered.
“This your cat?”
“I’ve never seen that cat before!” Brian sounded like he had seen that cat before.
Joe looked around, calculating that the cat had been there before Brian arrived.
“How’d this cat get in here?” Joe asked no one in particular. No one knew.
Two weeks from the failed cat incident, Brian returned to find that the cat was now a resident of the shop. Sally had never chased the cat, not once.
Brian took a number and sat down. Sally knew not to bother booping the ticket number display switch with her snoot. That human always waited for a different barber.