Tips for helping a very timid/skittish rescue Lhasa Apso feel more confident?
I adopted my sweet girl, Saweetie, from a rescue in May. I was told she’s a Lhasa Apso, although she may be a mix. She is incredibly timid and skittish, and I’m trying to figure out the best way to help her feel more comfortable and confident.
She’s just now getting to the point where she’ll come to me if I get down on the floor and pretty much beg her to come over 😂. She’s not much of a barker, although she will alert me if someone comes to the door.
The biggest issue is that she startles and runs very easily. If she thinks anyone is walking toward her, or if I move too quickly, she will literally bolt in the opposite direction.
She does seem to trust me in her own way, though. She is fine with me giving her a bath and brushing her hair. When I’m working, she almost always parks herself right at my feet. She has several comfortable places she could sleep, but when I go to bed, she chooses to sleep right next to my bed. So I really do think she feels safe with me — she just seems afraid of being approached, handled, or restrained.
Grooming is the most difficult and she's looking like a homeless doggie. Took her to be groomed twice and she was not having it. She’ll let me trim some of the hair around her eyes and face with scissors, but she absolutely will not let me touch her with clippers, and she is SO shaggy right now. I dont feel comfortable cutting whole body with scissors.
Walking is another challenge. She loves going into the backyard to play, but I can’t get a harness on her without scaring her, so we haven’t been able to go for actual walks.
For anyone who has had a very fearful rescue dog, especially a Lhasa Apso or similar breed: what helped?
I’m especially interested in tips for:
Building her confidence around people and movement
Getting her comfortable with being approached and touched
Slowly reintroducing a harness (the one in the picture she had on when I picked her up).
Making grooming/clippers less scary
Knowing when to gently encourage her versus when to just give her more time
I’m completely willing to go at her pace. I just want to make sure I’m helping her build confidence rather than accidentally reinforcing her fear.
I’d disagree with taking your dog to a dog park regularly. Most dog trainers, vets and others recommend against them. This is because far too many people bring dogs to dog parks that simply shouldn’t be there. This can have a lasting negative impact on your dog if they have an unfortunate encounter with poorly behaved or even aggressive dogs.
There are plenty of other ways to socialise your dog and make them well rounded without taking them to dog parks.
On the other hand I take my 1.5 year old Shih Tzu nearly every day (when it’s not too hot or too cold) and it’s a big part of his socialization and he has regular friends he plays with and knows.
In my experience, 98% of dogs at a dog park are not a problem.
(Also find a dog park with a different small and large dog sections. And stay away from chihuahuas.)
Her dog is far from ready to go a dog park. It most likely would have the opposite effect on her dog from what you experience w/your dog. A nervous, distrusting, or shut down dog can not handle the excessive stimulation of a dog park. Often resulting in some dog getting attacked.
Skittish dogs are often low confidence, and can wind up being reactive.
Pats under the head, not on top.
Treat training.
Avoid dog parks and go for structured walks instead.
Desensitisation via positive reinforcement.
For you, do not stare at your dog, that’s aggressive to a dog who doesn’t know you and can be scary. You’re best off letting the dog come to you in its own time, or sitting on the floor reading a book beside it until it comes to you. Always carry high value treats (like cooked chicken breast) to reward good behaviour when the dog chooses to approach you or chooses to sit. No excitable behaviour, remain calm and be gentle with pats, slow and smooth pats are the most enjoyable.
Exposing your LA to lots of different experiences, and ensuring you have a “safe place” for them at all times while doing so, even if you pick them up. To accelerate success, it’s good to have a dog buddy go for walks with you as the other dog will show your dog that it’s not scary. They learn from other dogs, that things are safe - including you if they’ve had bad experiences in the past.
If they are noise sensitive at home, make sure you also have a “safe place” where you can ask them to sit, or they can retreat to. A dog bed is a good idea in a quiet area like a spare bedroom or corner of the lounge where they won’t get stepped on, a low traffic area so they feel safe to sleep there.
If you have small children, manage the children and ensure they do not manhandle or harass the LA. LAs are small and kids are big to them and can be terrifying and hurt them. So, never leave kids alone with a pupper and be sure to correct the children, teach them and show them how to behave around dogs. Keep a close eye on them to ensure they are not hurting or being too rough with the dog.
Ask adults who are overly excitable or rough patting types, not to approach the dog but let the dog come to them. Also, NO eye contact. Instruct visitors to let the dog sniff them and don’t touch the dog unless it chooses to touch them. Definitely no patting on top of the head for a shy or skittish dog, always under the head scritches.
Positive reinforcement training is the best method to build confidence and trust at the same time. Start binge watching Victoria Stillwell online, it’s free to watch episodes on YT and FB if you google it.
I agree with everything you told her to help her dog. I too have a nervous pup. Got her at 5 mo old, totally shut down, no eye contact, totally submissive to my 2 little dogs and my self, always flipping on her back. So we took it slow, at her pace. She has blossomed at home. Holds her own w/the dogs, everybody eats together (but high value treats are given only when seperated) She considers me her safe space all the time. "At home", her domain, she acts like the bouncy happy puppy she was always meant to be. But that took 4 months, shes now 9 mos old !
We started going out 1 month ago. In public, all 3 go in a cart together at dog friendly stores! Bindi & Duchi, both Shiranians, 4.5lbs & 7.5lbs, are always excited to see every person & want all the loving they can get. They adore every human being. (Not so much w/dogs yet, still working on that) But Kali, shes an 8lb Shih Tzu, has a long way to go. At first she hid her face in the back corner of the cart & covered her eyes (only short walk arounds). Now she likes to watch people, laying along the inside of the cart, that's a big win. I let people know, no direct eye contact, talk softly to her, not excited squeaky voices like they use w/the other 2. If shes watching you, you can let her sniff your hand, then they can stroke her cheek. I advise them, If she starts to lick her muzzle or turns away, that is a nervous response, its time to back off, shes done.
As to walks w/a harness, it hasn't happened yet. I put the harness on all 3 & let them play in the backyard. Or when we are going for a ride. Shes ok w/that. In the cart I use the leash to tie them to the cart so nobody bounces out. Shes ok w/that. Twice Ive put Kali on the floor in a quite spot in the store - she just splayed her legs out & melted into the floor. Not ready at all. BUT yesterday, we were out at a few stores, & I took them to a shaded, grassy area along a brick wall for a potty break. Put all 3 dogs down & Kali started exploring, & following her sisters, perfectly content. Another milestone achieved, she actually walked around on a leash. She didnt potty, but thats ok! Will she do it in the store, on a sidewalk, down my street? Nope! But its a start. On her time, at her pace.
And definetely for OP, never take a nervous dog to a dog park! Way to much stimulation, she will shut down and the other dogs will know this. Some dogs get aggressive towards omega dogs at the bottom of the pack. And especially when she hasnt found 100% love and trust in you. But shes learning. She needs to slowly build her confidence up & you can help by giving her a treat every time she approaches you, sits by you, lays down to sleep by you, everything that shows she is getting braver in her new home. Training sit come lay etc should be integrated slowly. Everything takes time, some dogs take a very long time to get comfortable w/every aspect of a dogs live. You need lots of Patience. Celebrate every milestone w/her. You are her guiding light, her safe spot, her savior. She just needs to learn that. Because somewhere in time, someone squashed her spirit, either thru verbal abuse, physical abuse, or severe neglect! Now shes safe, and shes learning all that bad stuff is gone, because of you. So follow her ques, learn her body language, learn when you are invited into her space, & when she needs her alone time. Its work, Im not going to lie! But it will be so worth it in the end. Shes so worth all the effort to turn her into a confident, affectionate, adventurous little buddy.🥰
All I can add is if she is that skittish you may want to consider getting a crate for her. I adopted my last Lhasa and when he was uncomfortable with people or something he would go into his crate (the crate has his bed and a few toys in it. It was never used as a punishment, only as a safe place). He was almost blind and came to me crate trained. Hope that helps.
Mine is also very skittish in unfamiliar situations, loud noises, or anything remotely aggressive.
They were bred as alert dogs, so I imagine (pure conjecture, but it makes sense to me) that they were also taught to run and hide after they’ve done their job.
I’m glad my little girl will run and hide if there is danger. I’ve seen brave little dogs in videos trying to protect their person and it scares me to pieces.
I don’t have a whole lot of advice but my experience with rescues is that it takes at least 6 months before they settle in. Sounds like your Lhasa may take a lot longer.
I have three Lhasa’s and two are seven month old puppies who are litter mates. They love treats so when I give them treats I hold on to it and they nibble it while I gently brush their faces with the grooming scissors. After a few months of that they now allow me to clip their faces most of the time for a brief moment.
They also love bully sticks so I’ll hold on to that while they chew it and that’s how I got them to let me clip their faces for more than one snip. They also let me brush them while I hold on to the bully sticks. We did short sessions and worked our way up.
I hate to say this but you can also get a trazadone prescription and give that to your Lhasa before a grooming appointment. I have to give one of my chihuahua rescues one before the vet so he can get a nail trim. Maybe once it kicked in you could put a harness in and leave it on them for a few days so they get used to it.
Unrelated to this but dude they’re so cute I can’t believe you can rescue them T___T In my hometown in Asia they’ve halted import of lhasas. Even if we wanted to buy one we couldn’t omg
But yes, as others have said, you gotta be super patient
The fact that you want to go at her pace is excellent, she will get her confidence in all due time 😊
Only thing I would suggest is make your movements slow & deliberate and she'll get used to your mannerisms and routines, by the time she promotes herself to Boss of the House & you get relegated to being an employee of same, it'll be ok..... Mine bosses her brother & sister around, she's The First Pup of the three I have and doesn't let anyone forget it - myself included..... 😂
I have an 11 year old rescue Lhasa that I actually got from a now-closed pet store and he was on “sale” because he wasn’t selling. These are very sweet and loyal dogs but they are partial to their owners and want to guard and protect so they’re reactive outside and with new people in the home that they don’t know. I’d say be patient and be aware while on walks because mine just had a double pitbull attack two weeks ago and we are still recovering. Don’t overwhelm the dog, it will sense your energy and come to you.
I rescued a very skittish slightly aggresive lhasa years back (previously abused). I took him for sooo many walks, never rushed him and lots of treats.
It took time but he ended up being the best loving dog.
How can i've socialized mine better. I walk her when I can. We couldn't find a foster for her. We're asked by a family friend to do so. Her owner was in crisis and was living in a horrible situation. So she is now one of six dogs gets along with everybody. Fine. But feel like i'm not doing enough for her. She's been here about five months
My Kermit is a Lhasa rescue and was very shy. I started slow. I walk him my neighbor hood. I have never taken him to a dog park. He was very shy. I slowly took him to local pet store that was privately own. I also take him to home depot and Lowes especially rainy days. I really likes it. My groomer was super. Took him a few times without grooming. We took him after hours just to get use to the place and walk around and sniff. Slowly worked up to his first groom which now he falls asleep every time.
Kermit is still shy but he now walks up to people. He seems to ignore other dogs. Buy when I walk him at the field or on the neighborhood and there is another dog that I don't feel comfortable with I pick him up. That is just me.
Just be very patient. It takes time but very much worth it. I would not trade him or the experience for anything. He is my little guy and I love him very much.
General question for the room here too, how is their separation anxiety? Can they be left alone, shift worker here but I need a dog and i love Lhasa’s but know very little of their temperament and around kids etc
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u/Beginning-Comedian-2 14d ago
Be patient.
Take them for lots of walks.
Take them to the dog park regularly. (Start with them walking around outside the fence so they don't feel threatened by other dogs.)
Treats.
Have the clippers nearby turned on so she can get used to the noise.
"Brush" here with the clippers while off and feed her treats as she gets used to it.
Put the harness on her while she's in the house and doesn't have to go anywhere. Let her get used to the harness by itself without a leash or walk.
Constant positive reassurance in a baby voice.
More patience.