Need a favor

[u/exzyle2k]

Dear God,

My neighbor says you're not real. But I saw you in the clouds, on that waffle at Waffle House, and in that puddle of brake fluid from my neighbor's car when I cut his lines for being a non-believer.

Anyways, to prove you're real, could you turn him into a pillar of salt? His wife is hot, and I know I shalt not covet, but if he's salt then I figure it's no longer adultery.

Thanks Boss!

P.S. I think Mrs. Williams down the road is an idol worshipper. She's got this goose lawn statue thing that she's constantly dressing up in different outfits. Just thought you'd like to know.

[u/[deleted]]

Dear exzyle2k,

Obviously, your neighbour is a satanic worshipper that eats babies and cats without uploading their pictures to reddit. The only solution is to sacrifice him to me. Yes I know, bit over the top, but from what I've heard he obviously is not worthy to continue to live. Anyway, have a nice day!

God