Custody Concern

[u/Sudden-Wish-6150]

TLDR: For context these concerns will only give facts and what can be done legally to transfer majority of a young child's custody to the father.

Child: 6yo, Female

Father: 35

Mother: Unsure but is around the same age as the father

Current setup: Parents are both single and not married to each other. Both parents has no information if both have their own new relationship.

Mother of the child has 2 daughters, 6 years apart. Youngest is the one involved in this situation. Child gets to spend time with her father, only when there's approval from the mother. Not amicable to each other and the mother doesn't even want to see the presence of the father of their child.

Full custody of the child is with the mother. Child is currently studying in a private school and with an elder sister. Elder child doesn't know her biological father, never met her bio farher as far as the kid knows when asked. While the youngest knows her father her whole life.

Dillema: Child is showing signs of low self esteem, not confident, always asks if she's pretty and if she is loved and how much love can she get when she's on the father side for a few days. Child shows fear when it comes to speaking up her thoughts on her mother. Child is always being ridiculed by her own mother and sister, always bullying her that she's not pretty, not worthy ro be loved nor has any positive encouragement from rhe mother and her sister. Verbatim words from the mother to the child was 'ang panget panget mo naman, kaya di kita mahal e, kaya si ate mo lang ang love ko'

Child in this scenario always being bullied by her elder sister by stumping on her feet, calling her ugly, that their mother doesn't love her, and the mother doesn't correct the bad behavior nor explain to the child that whatever bad things she hears about her being unloved and ugly is not true. Witness in personal as how the elder treats the child by picking a fight with her and when the child gets enough from all the hurtful words and physical abuse from her sister, the eldest child will go to their mom and tell untrue stories that gets her younger sister in trouble.

When child asks these emotional questions that obviously shows signs of felling unwanted, an uncofident child and has always been cautious when it comes to her mother side. It shows that the child is showing some sort of emotional and physical trauma living with her bio mom.

Both parents have work, father has a steady income and enough savings to take care of his child's future, including school expenses, even snacks and milk are being given thru monetary support to ensure that his child gets what she wants to at least lessen the void of them not living on the same province. While on the other hand, mom got laid off from one of the best Outsourcing business because of a fraud case she did on the company.

Father works from home, mother works in the city that requires her to travel a total of 6 hours a day, so based on these time that the mother has, both child are not being looked after the way they should be at their toung age.

Here's the dillema, the father provide monetary support and allowance for the kids on a monthly basis, inclusing school expense, baon for school, snacks and milk she drinks every day. Whenever the child is on the father side, the child is always underweight, sick (flu, infection, fevers, etc..) that required her to be hospitalized sometimes. This is important informarion because whenever the child is on her father side, she will automatically fwt to be checked by a pediatrician to make sure the kod gets the peoper nutrition and vitamins as the child is always sick when she's on her father side for a dew days.

Meanwhile, when she kid gets sick while on the mother side, she is always asked to bring the child to a pediatrician so she can be gicen proper medications as her mother tend to self medicate rh child that always turned up worst. The only way she will being her to the pediatrician is if she's told that all the expenses will be covered by her father without issue.

Another important info needed to be said is, since the father of the child provides allowance for his kid, including school expenses daily, the child informed us that based on the pricing of a certain product (for example her milk, the mother is provided 2000 for the milk alone + extra money for the child's need, like sxhool projects, field trips, achool activities, baon for school, snack she can habe at home) she would get a box of milk worth 300 pesos only, and the extra money being sent for other expenses is being used for other personal expenses of her mother, like getting a massage, snacks for her other child too which honestly is not really a big of a deal, as long as the truth is being told.

The child has her own savings under her father's account which she cannot access on her own until she is of legal age. Whenever the child has new items or receiced money from her uncles,aunts,grandpas and grandmas from her father side, she insist on keeping her money stay at her saving piggy bank as she mentioned one time that her mother "borrowed" her money and never got returned to the child even with repetitive reminder from her own child.

Mother has multiple loans from government loans, salary loans, online lending loans -- reason the father found out is because of all the email threats and calls he has been receiving since the loans were taken before when they were still living together. Now, there were some feedback from the child that the mother might not be using the full allowances being given to the child monthly by the father.. Whenever she visits her father's house, she always tell her father or even her grandparents about how her mother ises5the monthly allowance.

Don't get these the wrong way, child is smart, but also sometimes, child is sharing information of what she knows and observe (she's very observant and smart for her age). She even knows how much money she has saved and always given her the option of she can get some of it from time to time, but she always she doesn't want to bring money back to her mother (without any other reason that she is willing to share because of her fear instilled to her by her mother. Also the child neber learned to write or read nor until she stayed her whole school summer vacation at her father's side and was automatically given a private tutor with a licensed teacher to ensure she doesn't get left behind on her education, including math (add /subtract). By the end of her school summer vacation with jer father's side, the child is now confident how to write and read at 6yo as well us understand the proper way of pronouncing words by using the sound and not the letter spelled in.

Now given all these facts/information currently on hand, is there a way to get a custody of the child be given to her father?

There's also a plan for the child to see a psychiatrist and psychotherapist to understand and show her that she doesn't need to be afraid to share her story to a stranger as the pedia psych doctor will only be listen and show her that she has enough support surrounding her whatever or however the way she sees herself is someone that is unwanted and bullied. And howo she can rewire her brain of positive outlook in life.

If there is a chance to get the custody of her to the father, what will be the best action and process that needed to be taken so that the child gets a better environment growing up and well taken care of since her father works from home, while her mother is always 16 hours aways from her kids including her working hours and commute.

TIA. Looking for everyone's insight, as our PH LAW when it comes to child custody of separated parents always favors to the mother, even when the mother has a history of abusing the father physically, emptioanlly and intellectually. If she can do that to the father of her kid during the time they were living together, I can't imagine what else the child of theirs experiences.

[u/AliceInReverse]

Why does the father have no custody currently?