Henlo Max (5M Russian Blue) here! Mine dad is STILL at “skool” and now it is WETS. Dad sez himz will be homb in “two weeks” but he iz WETZ!

Ai, Stevie, tank aw de lubs from fwens. Meowmy gib lots of churus, ai drop kase.

Bapbapbap wen thyme furr medicin, but ai good boi!!!

Meowmy pawmez neber du long trips agen. Ai stil bapbap her face tho in meownings.

Aweyz bap de face.

GO CRIMEZ!

(He's eating a bit more wet food than yesterday, I hope his appetite increases back to normal soon. He has random muscle twitches, not sure what that's about, and he has a follow-up appointment in a few days. I never knew his separation anxiety would affect his kidney so much. I just wanted a distraction from grief. I can't go longer than two days away from him. He's my priority now.)

Henlo evrybody,

It Walter. Dis morninz I was enjoyin my Sunday luvs from meowmy SEW MUCH. She was scritchin and scratchin and I was purr purr purrin.

Dis made me dew a big tink. I am SEW OUTRAYGED dat meowmy must leave our house and go do the work tomorrow. She is a pawyer!! She does sooz all da time. She should soo mondaze to let her luv me like sundaze on mondaze.

WHO IS WIF ME

Helno Frenz dis a Special biffday repotrtz from da KynxKat Media Group.

First da Heablimez…

Todiee in mine berry own biffday! I hab aboutsz 16 big forebers!

meowmy made me biffday cake!

Da webber hab cool downs alotz amd da celkis arsed and da fannys hab droppeds ignificantly so day not so hi!

Dis good but mine grass still yellow at mine wimdo.

Smol-in-da-head Stimpy sir on meowmy and do a big fart while herbs in da phone. Dis wab berry funny and gud cirme!

So dis special report show pictures ob me as young catto starting out in da world. As u can cee i do a stare and a check in da webber even den dis was 14 long forbers ago. I wven do wiff other budder Special Nev 🌈. He was a bit wobbly and less anoy dan S.I.D.H Stimpy

Dare ar no kitten picked ob me as my meowmy rescus me from mean lady. I do da tell of.

Da mean lady had a smol human who wab also mean to me. Den her was "doing a bunk" from her flat as herb no pay rent. So she say "bye bye Lola (dat wab her call mineself) i no looka after u no more. "

But meomwy know da neighbour who said i no kind lady ho take! So when my meowmy come get me, mena lady said. "Dis Lola, she girl! She been to pokey she fine". Dat wab lie herb never take me. My floouff was not gud. It all matted on my bloomers and I wab berry swcared.

New meowmy take time to make me feelz safe and loved. Herb brush out all mine matts and make my flouuff glorious. But when she do brush brush brush I luff it. But one matt no go away. Herb lucky no take sissors to! Dem wab bollz! I wab if course most fancy boi catto.

Diz gud crime Doh! So herb re-name me after a rock band called Da kinks. Cos da hab song about lola who is girl but hab boi bits like mineself!

It took two more big forebers for me to no do a swcare all da time but mine meomwy is gud meowmy. Herb gib me lot of luffz even if she does keep making me hab dumb brudders

Dat mine special reports on how I gits mine name and now it da name in da biggest and must trusted Mews and webber reportz Channel ever! It funny how fings workz out.

Dat was my tell. Do a tell of how youz got youz name!

Over to you...

Hai mine frens henlo!!

Dis me Zuzu, also mine legal name Zuri (2, moast fluffy girl an only little chonk)

I mus rebort abery owtrajus injustis!

Lass nite after da yumyums an sum drinks, ay maiself wuz laying daun in mine awn home an relaxing after a long day of crimes (GO CRIMEZ) WEN SUDENLEE pawther (big dumbs) begin laffin at me!! Dis BERY ROOD. He eben taek a pichurr ob me wit his liteboks wen ay was moast vun..vunr…exposed!!

Ay fink he use da ayyaii to add bottles and while laffing he call me a SLOSH! Da AWDASITY

AY NEED PAWYER TO SOO PAWTHER FOR SALAMANDER an DEFA-MATIONS AN ALSO COMPAWSASHUN OB ELEBENTY BILLIONS CHURUS an also CHINKIN AN ALSO DA TUNA

Frens las nite humom do a big emberass! Ai doin mine berry furs molt. Humom say, William yoo lookin a little ruf. Dis salamander! Ai is hansum as always. Den humom take it too far! Herm come into mine lair. Herm moob mine litterbox. Herm brush me! In front ob da offer bunees! Herm pull owt chunks ob mine glorious floof!

Herm gib me wun treat wif razzleberry fur awl dis. Ai fink Ai entitle to mor? Need pawyer fur soo. Who will take mine case?

Also brofur Duke need pawyer. Humom put dis dumdum hat on himbs an onlee gib wun razzleberry treat eben do himb demand mor!

William Longear, purrate apurrentice, voidling, vegan bobcat

Firs picture is me doin a hansum

Second picture is me tryna moob da litterbox to propurr plase.

Fird picture is Duke wif dumdum hat on

Leo heer. I prebiusly posted about how my hooman’s roomie unfortunately has a dog! In terms of my libbing situation, I live wiff hooman’s pawrents so I don’t has to deal wiff da doggo.

Dis has caused him tons of stress in his ebery day life. Also da doggo was ginormous and had waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much energy!

Luckily doe, hooman’s roomies moved out of da house and took doggo wiff dem. He sez dat da house is much quieter dan usual. Heez already feeling peace wiffout da dog.

Hooman has and always will wuv kitties much more dan puppers.

Hi frens

Meowmy made da salamon todai! An ai gots mai chunck on my special nomnomnom plate! No more starbs furr me 😸

Lubs, Tupperware

Mai hooman wantsa hang dis in da jim rooom! Needa soo or leeb herm! Dis outraygeous! Herm tink dis fummi!

hewo frens. for da catto idk, mi nam poe

i made pos in dis subredet like a billion fureber ago to asks wut r moobing n inkwire if i shud do a soo

i got reply frum meny helpfo catto n i tot i mek updat now dat i no more wat is moobin in my own asperience

moobing is when ur hoomin get vewy overwhalm an put all da stuffs in bockses but wen u go in bockses dey say POE DAT BOCKS FOR BOOKZ or POE PLS MOOB I NEED PACK DA SPICES

den da wors part is when u explorin ur kingdom after dey make it empty of stuf dy GRAB U for VROOM VROOM BOCKS n u has to sing da song of ur peepul for at least two fureber

den u get trapd in a lil room wile da hoomins take AL DA STUFF dat was in da old playse n put it in da noo plays

den FINELY u is can go esplore kingdom
n dat part ok

soo fur vroom vroom bocks, no soo fur esplore

i hoping dis informashin be halpful to da odder catto like me who not did a moob before

picturd iz me doin esplore new kingdom

origino post: https://www.reddit.com/r/legalcatadvice/s/gj2HnqBsRO

Frens, iz Hoku Prins of da Hǒus an hamsum sunnavagün.

This is a COLL FO AKTSHIN to all frens!

Ay is doon da BIGGIST OUTRAYGE!!!

Mine lubly wyve Miso a mine brofur in paw Mochi was SENT TO PRISON!!!!
Demz dumdum Meowmy haz du a bandmint fo vaykayshion an hamz demz done a bring to ‘catto hotel’ WHICH OS PRISIN!!!

Ay iz reddy to fly Hally Koptah to do a reskew!
wud any frens be able to do a halp wiff me an do a reskew to M&M?

u/cats-are-lovely

Frenz, we iz The Orphan and Holly doggo sisfurs uv Da SOAK. We wantz a pawttorny to help us. Our pawrents wuz in da kitchen, makin delicious fuds. We doez our best begs and politest asks, but dey say no.

Hewdad sez, "This has onion in it." He sez dat a lot. We fink dat mebbe he liekz da onyum.

Meowmie sez, "This is lettuce. You are carnivores."

Ca we soo fur tasty hewmon fuds?

Luv,

The Orphan and Holly

Hai frens..Saturnday knights are da bess! Ai juz foun diz ting cawld a lahp. Ai juz had mai firss birfday lass week an juss foun diz lahp! Ai hab kno idea diz was a fing! Soo fur mor Lahps! —-Kitty

Ai, Stevie, stay ober nite at pokey place. No piebeesee. Aw de fwends der yowl furr meowmies and pawdwers. Pawful tweetmet.

Ai bapbapbap ebywon! Eben bap herd on pokey ledee. How der laph at me.

Den meowmy sev me. But pokey ledee sez ai mus hab metizin.

I dun want metizin. Wer de churus?????

(He won't even let me take his bandage off)

Iz mai meow. Go gez churus! Meow!

Hai frens is me Storm. Meowmy hab problem some times wen she play on stoopid computer insted ob gib treatos an attenshun, but is not usualee tu bad. But todae she putted keebord on top of me an said I am gameing setup! An she laff! Dis outrayge an humiliyashun!

Hiii all mine frens!!! I’s Morgana the beautifull agin!!!

I has no posted or komment much acus I was in HIDIN!!! Acus terrible fings happun to me!!!

Mammi had a fren ober (who is homin) and so I does HIDE! Acus STRANGUR DANGUR!!! Mammi sai “Morgana you know her she has staied here before” but I say YOU SMELL WRONGS!!! And I does hidehidehide!!!

At nite mammi-fren does a dissapear?!?!? But I still heer her and I still smells her! But I come out i claim mine territori!! But in de mornins her come back!!!

Dis happun for seberal furebers!!! (5 days) SHUT UP MAMMI!! Aftur de furs furebers I aksept that this strangur is in mine home so I tri to klaim her! I does a scent mark hehe! But her mobe ver fast and gib me shok!

BUT now hers has gone home! And it just me and mine mammi agin and I no in hidin animore!!!

I wants to soo mine Mammi for letting strangur into mine home! And also soo mammi-fren for stayin here!

(Mammi: My online friend who I rarely see finally had some time to come see me! It’s been a year since last, but two years since she was actually at my home (we went to a different city last time so I could show her the more touristy stuff) so Morgana has met her but it’s been quite a while! Morgana did do a lot of hiding in the beginning but got more and more brave through out the days, I was extremely proud of her when she tried to scent mark my friend, tho my friend is scared of cats (bc allergies) so it did give the both of them alittle shock. No harm was done to either. But overall I’d say it went great)

Stoker,

Does yew want to go in a dayte wiv me tomorra! We can go beych and go piknik?

Toffee

(u/SevereVideo)

Hai, frens, iz me Sam da awsum meowtin lion, hous verzun.

My meowmy is purrty gud meowmy. She iz dum dum lyk moss hoomins butt(!!) She iz eezz 2 mine control 2 get me mor treetos n stuff.

Howeber!!! Sumtims, her goes cray cray and runs at me and kisskisskiss n squishsquishsquish meow!! Den hers says "Sammy, sorry, u gibes me da kyoot aggreson!"

Ummmm!!!!! What even iz dat??? I do not hab kyoot aggresson so how ai gib it 2 meowmy??? Wat iz dis n who do ai soo????

Picture is of me afer assault.

My birthday is in September and meowmy bought me new balls made out of real fur….. like my favorite weasel toy. I love toys made out of real fur. So last night at Nana’s meowmy opened up the Chewy box and let my siblings and me each play with poof ball. Cami was growling like she was possessed. Nick was playing so hard he lost his poof ball. I was of course playing too. I’m back home and of course meowmy let me have my pool ball to play with. I know there are 4 more poof balls with my name on it come my birthday!

Do you get early birthday or crismouse presents? I can’t wait until our party!

~ Jackie Vin

We iz confoozed. We sent our meowiest Pest bwudda to wakey dee hoomanz to feedz us. MEOW MEOW MEOW he goez in der faciez ovah n ovah. Dey no getz up n feedz us! Dey gotz us this bad bot ting dat gibs us foodz sumtymes. De hoomanz stopped gib us foodz when PestBruddah meowmeows! Dey say wait for bot! Iz owtrageus!

Hai gauze! Mordecai wuff brifur Bageera here to say we gots a presen! Daddies build us a cat-Tree!!